I'm the eldest of her kids and she admits she has no idea when my birthday is despite knowing when my brothers is, his girlfriends is and even his girlfriends mothers....
She doesn't seem to know (or care) when my DSs (her only grandchild) or DHs is either even if I remind her regularly up to the events.
She's never been great at the 'mum stuff' and I know I should have got used to it by now but it still makes me sad when another birthday rolls round and she doesn't even acknowledge it. (I'm not looking for cards or gifts just an acknowledgement would be nice) 
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AIBU?
AIBU to be a little upset that my mum doesn't know when my birthday is?
52 replies
wonkylegs · 31/01/2014 18:29
OP posts:
WelshMoth ·
31/01/2014 18:31
Bloody tell her and hold her accountable. 
I feel sad on your behalf.
Sad but angry.
Shakey1500 ·
31/01/2014 18:32
She may (and there's lots of us that struggle) not do the "Mum stuff" (to a degree but seriously??
How fucking hard can it be to write in on a calendar in big fuck off letters?
Finola1step ·
31/01/2014 18:35
Blimey. That is quite crap. I assume she was at the birth. I do sometimes have to think carefully about the order of numbers when I'm writing ds's dob as the day and year are one digit apart. But to just not know is v v odd.
If its your birthday today, 
. if not, anyway.
sandyballs ·
31/01/2014 18:37
That is horrible. I'm sad that my mum no longer remembers my birthday but she has dementia. To think of her doing this when she was well .
Have you asked your mum why?
wonkylegs ·
31/01/2014 18:38
I told her today when she phoned (not to acknowledge it but to tell me about her trip with a friend I don't know and about sorting out my brothers dog), she said ' oh is that today' and continued with her conversation. I interrupted and told her about DSs lovely card etc , at which point she then had to go.
I once asked why she treated us differently and she said that 'she knew I'd always be fine so she didn't worry about me'
DH says she'll never change and I should stop hoping she will.
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tilliebob ·
31/01/2014 18:45
Last year on my birthday my mum came into my house THREE TIMES before she clicked it was my birthday. She only realised then as she spotted the cards and then rushed to the calendar saying "Have I missed your birthday?!"
Since I'm in my 40's I got over it but vowed I'd never do that to any of my children as it's not a nice feeling 
hiddenhome ·
31/01/2014 18:49
Oh, you're a January birthday. Most people who have a January birthday are ignored when it comes around. They just don't want to know. It's the worst month to have a birthday in ever
Your mum is a bit of an arse for being dismissive towards you though.
hiddenhome ·
31/01/2014 18:58
I said, most people, not everyone
There have been numerous threads on MN about January birthdays and how posters hate having them because they're ignored or very little effort is put in.
Your own mother ignoring your birthday is rather extreme however. I'd send her a mouldy haddock on hers tbh.
Solo ·
31/01/2014 18:58
Two years running (2011/12) my Mum didn't give me a card (cards are important to me, more so than a gift and she knows this), after the first time, she said "I haven't had time to go to the shop, but I haven't forgotten" the year after, I started reminding her about 3 weeks in advance and she said "I've not forgotten, but not written it out yet" (was a fib). But the first year she didn't get me one, about 5 days later she hands me a card saying "what do you think of this, it's for your cousin H" That hurt me the most. I do everything for Mum, including buying her all the cards for the family for her to give/send out...so why did she make such a big thing of going out and buying my cousins birthday card when she'd not got me one? we are 10 days apart. Anyway, I kept bringing it up in a jokey fashion all year! and last year birthday, she gave me two cards; one dated for 2012, the other for 2013. I asked her where 2011's was!! 
This year, I'll be 50. Best she doesn't forget it! hints are going to start in 3 weeks time!
Solo ·
31/01/2014 19:02
And Happy Biirthday OP :)
My Dd's birthday is Boxing Day. Doubt I'll ever forget that ~ even by accident!
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