regarding dp picking up family member from airport?

[ikeaismylocal]

Tomorrow is going to be a pretty hard day for 12 month old ds, it is my first full day away from him and he still breastfeeds lots and is very much mummy focused at the moment, he also has his mmr and the last of his other vaccinations tomorrow morning ( crap timing but it was the only slot they had for a long time) I should also add ds is a bit carseat phobic at the moment, he doesn't like being restrained and screams constantly if he is in the car and it isn't nap time ( then he sleeps) he is ok if I am sat next to him entertaining him but he still gets grumpy after a while. We are trying to build up the time of journeys and reduce the amount of entertainment he needs but it's going slowlywe are a long way off being able to just pop him in the car for a longish journey.

Dp is on paternity leave, tomorrow is his first time looking after ds for most of the day.

Mil has asked to be collected from the airport which is 45 minutes away at 11.45, ds wakes from his nap at 11.15 ish and then has lunch, he is usually pretty grumpy after his nap and I anticipate he will have a fever after his vaccinations as this happened the last 2 times and sore little legs.

If dp collected mil ds would most probably scream hysterically for an hour and a half.

Mil is 60 and able bodied, there is easy regular public transport from the airport to where she is staying, she isn't coming to visit us, the last time she came to stay she stayed at dp's sisters house and popped in to see us for an hour and a half, we have suggested she stay with us next time as she says she is sad ds is growing up without really knowing her but she said no, shed rather stay with sil.

The last bit of information is that we had a flight in December that dp asked her for a lift to ( they were visiting in the car) and they said no they didn't want to give us a lift as it was too early in the morning ( fair enough!), so we just used airport parking.

Aibu to think that dp should say no, it's not convenient as ds would be probably feverish, grumpy and hungry and it would be better to stay at home. We'd invite her for dinner instead.

[greenfolder]

he is on paternity leave. let him get on with it and make the decision.

[IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKaleesi]

I think really it's up to your DP if he's the one having your dc that day

[RunRabbit]

YABU.

It's your partners decision.

[Justforlaughs]

Tbh, I'd not put him down for a sleep and then he'd sleep in the car. I wouldn't expect a 60 yo (or a 30 yo for that matter) to make their own way from the airport/ station if it was in my power to help out.

[shoofly]

Can you say it isn't convenient as DS is having his injections at that time and direct her to the public transport. I would normally say pick her up and DS would cope but if she's not coming to stay with you why would she expect your DH to pick her up

[wobblyweebles]

I'd wait till tomorrow then when she calls say the baby is not well and she will have to take the train/bus.

[Justforlaughs]

Tbh, if this is a snapshot of your attitude to her, I'm not surprised she'd rather stay with your Sil.

[ApprenticeViper]

If MIL has only asked today to be collected tomorrow, then DP WNBU to say no due to the short notice and the likelihood of DS being feverish, grumpy, etc.

If MIL asked a reasonable period of time ago and you/DP have put off giving her a yes or no, then it's entirely up to you/DP whether she gets picked up or not. If you told her that she would be listening to your DS "screaming hysterically" for 45 minutes, she might prefer to get a taxi/take public transport to your SIL's house!

[spritesoright]

I don't think it would be impossible. DP could time it so that DS sleeps on the way, eats at the airport (or in the car, fed by MIL on the way back). DP could explain that DS might be grumpy and cry the way back so MIL can anticipate and sit next to him to entertain.
But I agree with the post above that it's up to your DP and he can get on with it. Regardless of her being able bodied it's a pain to take public transport with luggage and I don't think it's unreasonable to ask her son to pick her up.

[WooWooOwl]

YANBU.

[2014newme]

With NMR I think the symptoms are normally 10 days after?

Agree with others, don't give him morning nap and let him sleep in car to airport instead.

I think you are being a bit pfb to be honest but understandably as it's your first day away from him. Let dh manage it however he sees fit, difficult not to micro manage but try not to!

[MerryMarigold]

I was sort of prepared to say YANBU based on the not staying with you and not taking you to airport. However, you sound overly PFB about your ds (sore legs, he is not walking anywhere!). I think dh can decide. You can warn him how it may be. And your ds may not mess his dad around add much as he seems to have you wrapped round his finger.

[LIZS]

It's your dp's call . Chances are he'll nod off on way to airport especially if his usual routine is disrupted.

[CoffeeTea103]

Yabu, you're being ridiculous. Does your life revolve around nap times? I don't think it unreasonable for mil to ask her son for a lift, nothing to do with her ability to use public transport.

[SpottyDottie]

Your DP can decide and I totally agree with Coffee, you cannot revolve your life around your child's nap time. It really is ridiculous!

[Xmasbaby11]

The MMR will probably have no effect on DS. It rarely does. I can understand why you are worried because you are not used to spending time away from DS, but I think you have to get used to it and trust others, including DP, to make decisions regarding him.

YABU.

[FirstStopCafe]

YANBU. My son hates the car. I would never take him on unnecessary journeys knowing he will cry all the way. It's cruel. Sounds like mil can easily make her own way

[waltermittymissus]

This is your only child isn't it?!

[IComeFromALandDownUnder]

YABU. My lo sometimes screams in the car sometimes not but needs must and it never stops me from making a journey. I think you are a being more then a little pfb to be sitting in the back entertaining him. Babies do scream sometimes in the car, just because.

[RutaSkadi]

I feel for you OP, you seem really anxious about leaving your ds. It's a shame it's such bad timing with his MMR and this journey.

It does seem that mil doesn't exactly put herself out for you, but maybe your annoyance is coming from your worry about ds.

I can't blame you for worrying as I would too, but he'll be fine and your dp will look after him - they'll both survive and so will you! Hopefully someone with more recent experience of leaving their baby on a difficult day will be along to advise you soon. Yanbu, but don't worry, this time tomorrow you'll all be home ok.

[dontcallmemam]

It sounds like you're (justly) worried about leaving Ds for the 1st time & projecting your anxieties.
DP is in charge tomorrow, let him get on with it. They'll all be fine, promise.

[drbonnieblossman]

sweet jesus. overthinking much?

babies fit around life, not the other way round. your dp can just stick your child in the car and go to the airport.

you're going to end up with a very very fussy child if everything is geared towards him.

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

I agree. Dont manage your partner. He is the child's father. He is the one who will be there and he will have to deal with it all. You have to trust him to be able to look after his child.

that said, I'd not be happy about favours being done for someone who cant be arsed to do them for you. That sort of selfish shit pisses me off. Take but no give.
however, still his problem.

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

Dp can keep da awake and set off at 10.45 for airport- ds will fall asleep in car and either wake when they get to airport where dp can take him in to get MIL and get some lunch or if he stays asleep MIL can just jump in car and do drive home giving ds super long nap and waking at 12.30ish for lunch.

[SarahAndFuckTheResolutions]

What attitude does the OP have to her MIL? She seems quite reasonable about her.

She's invited her MIL to stay, invited her for a meal, said it was fair enough about MIL not wanting to reciprocate with the airport lifts and she hasn't called her any names. I can't see any attitude at all about the MIL.

What I can see is a mother who knows her own baby, who has thought about his dislike of the car seat, the fact that he has a history of being feverish after an injection, and his routine and is reasonably worried that he's going to be hungry, upset and feverish on a 90 minute round trip, longer if MIL is delayed.

Where's the attitude in that?

OP I know it will be hard for you but you will have to let your DH get on with it. Suggest to him that he delays nap time so DS hopefully sleeps in the car on the way, and takes some food with him so MIL can feed and entertain DS in the back of the car on the way home.

Or suggest that DH parks at the airport and goes in with DS so he can have lunch there and have a stretch of his legs before the return, again with MIL entertaining.

And remind him to take some calpol with him to help if DS is feverish, and dress him in something easy to loosen in the car if DS gets too hot.