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AIBU?

Stop kissing my children

41 replies

PissedOffInLancashire · 27/12/2013 10:36

Another Christmas thread. I'm annoyed at my aunt, we are very close so I love her to bits but she can royally piss me off at times this is one of those times

We (dh, dd (3), and ds (8 weeks)). Went round to hers for Xmas, she had made a real effort as always and it was lovely but the first thing she said was I'll not kiss you as a have a cold sore. All very sensible.

The problem was she kept forgetting about the bloody cold sore and kept kissing my kids. I had to explain the cold sore virus killed an 8 week old baby this year and could she please be more careful.

She was more careful but still landed a few kisses on them and then said oops I forgot about the cold sore and just rubbed the spot as if that would make it better

Well today dd has what looks like the start of a cold sore and I am livid. AIBU to think that a fully grown woman should have better control over herself and keep her bloody mouth to herself.

I have no idea how I am going to keep dd away from ds till here disappears.

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grumpyoldbat · 27/12/2013 10:38

YANBU

Booboostoo · 27/12/2013 10:56

Bloody hell I would have taken the kids and left! I get cold sores as well but I am super careful, I don't kiss anyone, I don't touch my mouth, I take my utensils/glass away immediately so no one touches them accidentaly...giving someone else my cold sore is my worst nightmare.

I hope your DD doesn't have it and it's false alarm. If she does have it try compede patches, they can help a bit with preventing it spreading although I am not sure how practical it will be to keep one on a 3yo. What a nightmare for you, I'd be really pissed off with your aunt.

PissedOffInLancashire · 27/12/2013 10:59

Thanks you two. Dh can't stand my aunt, I'm always defending her but she keeps doing stupid things like this.

Once she fed my dd 4 sugar lumps - she is not a pony

It's really hard to keep defending her when she acts like this.

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BubaMarra · 27/12/2013 10:59

YANBU. DD1 caught her first HSV which is the virus that causes cold sore when she was 11 month, so much bigger baby than yours. It was really nusty virus, she couldn't eat for 3 weeks. Fortunately, at 11 months she was big enough for virus not to cause something more serious.

PissedOffInLancashire · 27/12/2013 11:00

Ooh thanks for the advice re compede

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NinjaBunny · 27/12/2013 11:09

Once she fed my dd 4 sugar lumps.

Any chance you can just visit her alone next time? She doesn't sound very 'child friendly'.

And do ponies eat sugar lumps? I didn't know that!

RedPencilPot · 27/12/2013 11:12

Right, I've said this about a few AIBU posts this Christmas but you aunt is a total tosser.

Stupid bloody woman

PissedOffInLancashire · 27/12/2013 11:23

Trouble is she's too bloody child friendly. Has no sense if control around them. Dd thinks she great (she feeds her non stop junk whenever she can).

The reason she kept kissing them is because she loves them, which is lovely but you need a bit of self control and mindfulness with a cold sore and she has none.

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PissedOffInLancashire · 27/12/2013 11:25

Oh I don't actually know a thing about ponys. Actually sugar lumps are probably as bad an idea with a pony as with a toddler.

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Squidwardtenticles · 27/12/2013 11:26

Sorry but I wouldn't be taking my children to visit her again if I was you. She could of put your 8 week old in serious danger.

CaptainTripps · 27/12/2013 11:28

There is no excuse for the 'forgetfulness' (kissing). That is just plain selfishness and not thinking of others. I would have gone home!

NinjaBunny · 27/12/2013 11:31

I'd have gone home too.

Not sure where 'loving' them comes into it.

If you love someone you don't feed them lumps of sugar and kiss them with herpes mouth. Sorry.

I do think it's time for your aunt and your children to part ways.

Noctilucent · 27/12/2013 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gruntfuttock · 27/12/2013 11:39

YANBU. I would be furious. Maybe explain what happened to a pharmacist and see if they suggest anything. I do hope that neither of your children have been affected by this very selfish and thoughtless woman. It's a very serious thing and I'm angry on your behalf.

soontobeburns · 27/12/2013 11:47

Im not defending the aunt but it is an easy mistake to make.

I get coldsores but if my OH was to it can leave him in hospital and he gets them very badly. Due to this I cant kiss him or anything when I have one. Yet sometimes I accidentally do and forget.

its not like you have a neon sign, sometimes you do get caught up in the love and forget you have one.

Nanny0gg · 27/12/2013 12:10

How old is your aunt? I have to say, eating sugar lumps was a favourite 'treat' when I was a child, and I do occasionally succumb now...

However, there is no excuse for the kissing and if your DD is unfortunate enough to actually develop a cold sore I hope you tell your aunt exactly the consequences of her thoughtlessness.

neunundneunzigluftballons · 27/12/2013 12:23

Ahh that is really not fair of her. My dd is walking around with a cold sore and she is at pains to tell everyone she cannot kiss them because of it and she is 5.

PissedOffInLancashire · 27/12/2013 13:05

Well I've popped a compeed patch on her. Not sure how long it will stay on she keeps licking it. Will have to keep reapplying it.

Still not sure if it is a coldsore but its not looking good. I'm now going to spend the next 2 weeks keeping dd away from ds and all other children

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HOMEQCRICH · 27/12/2013 13:18

I don't know too much about cold sores but my friend gets them and when its in 'full bloom' there is no way she could forget about it! They really hurt and make her miserable. Once they start to heal are they infectious?
I am not excusing shitty behaviour you are not being unreasonable at all I am just hoping that this is the case.
My SIL just' diagnosed' DN with a cold sore and it was impetigo.
I hope it turns out ok.

HOMEQCRICH · 27/12/2013 13:19

I don't know too much about cold sores but my friend gets them and when its in 'full bloom' there is no way she could forget about it! They really hurt and make her miserable. Once they start to heal are they infectious?
I am not excusing shitty behaviour you are not being unreasonable at all I am just hoping that this is the case.
My SIL just' diagnosed' DN with a cold sore and it was impetigo.
I hope it turns out ok.

raffle · 27/12/2013 13:28

I'm another one who can sort of see how this happened. If my Mum ever got a cold sore I would have to ban her from the house, as there is just no way she could be in the company of my boys and NOT kiss them. She is the most kissy/cuddly person ever, and even with the best of intentions I know she would just forget.

I would be cross, but wouldn't hold it against her.

PissedOffInLancashire · 27/12/2013 13:33

raffle I think that is the problem she is very affectionate and just automatically kisses the kids. I'm sure she will be devastated if she's given dd a coldsore.

I would have removed the kids from her house but she has had it for we'll over a week so I was hoping it would be less infective. Plus I didn't want to be the woman who ruined Xmas.

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ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 27/12/2013 13:58

Huge points to her for actually recognising the lethal potential of cold sores....its just so sad she couldnt restrain herself, I would have problably left after the first kiss and said it was a risk I didnt want to take.

I have relatives like this, when baby was born into a horrid winter with noriviurs rampant and all sorts of flues going round, and mine took it personally when I said can you wash your hands before touching my days old baby, always shoving poky fingers at her bloody mouth!

I wouldnt have minded if they could just hold her or look at her...but it was always shoving the fingers at her mouth...so stupid.

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 27/12/2013 13:58

well if she has I think she needxs to know.

PissedOffInLancashire · 27/12/2013 14:04

zevite oh don't get me started on people poking their fingers into babies mouths.

I had to wrestle ds of a random stranger at a party who was trying to stick her fingers into his mouth. One of dh's relatives was holding him and they past him on to this distant relative who just loves babies. I swear people who love babies are the worse.

Got to tell my aunt soon that dd has a coldsore, not looking forward to it, aunt will be gutted she has past on the virus but I need to tell her.

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