to not want to go to work due to excessive wind.

[Bakedpies]

not the weather. mine!!!!

two days of sprouts, carbs and rich foods have left me stinking. im burping sulphur all over the place and passing wind like theres no tomorrow.

i work in a public facing job. ill have to hold it in and so ill explode

my stomach hurts and i just want to lie on the sofa till im deflated but you cant call in sick for wind.

what the hell do i do?

[stgeorgiaandthedragon]

The only thing that works is having a poo in my experience!

[Slutbucket]

Some windeze might do the job.

[Bakedpies]

ive done that several times, its not made even a jot of difference.

[isitsnowingyet]

Yucky - and you have an unfortunate username for this topic!

[OddBoots]

Any chance you could get to a health food shop for some activated charcoal tablets?

[sassytheFIRST]

Thirty star jumps NOW.

[raisah]

Acidiphilus from a health food shop. It is a highly concentrated form of good tummy bacteria, which will help to rebalance your stomach flora.

[AlaskaNebraska]

Do some exercise

[KatoPotatoHoHo]

Soluable co-codamol helps the pain of trapped wind and is a miracle cure in the potato house!

[eurochick]

Walk to work - the impact will get your bowels moving and you can trump it out with each step.

[raisah]

Call in sick with d&v, you dont want to spread it to the rest of the team.

[raisah]

You havent got d&v but thats what you could use as an excuse.

[BIWI]

When are you due in?

Drink some hot water and do some exercise - go for a run if you can or do the star jumps sassy suggested.

Have you had any breakfast?

[Thants]

Windeze and lots of movement. I'd just fart at work though

[BobPatSamandIgglePiggle]

Raisah - don't be ridiculous.

Just go to work - blame the customers or walk off to a quiet corner to fart. So not a big deal.

[scaevola]

Strong black coffee (and in the olden days, a fag) would get most people going.

Isn't activated charcoal meant to help?

[SheldonsLeftFlipFlop]

As an IBS sufferer I find it odd that someone would want to call in sick for a bit of wind.

Essentially as horrid as it sounds, the only thing that truly helps me when I'm in the grip of an episode is to fart it all out.

[specialsubject]

call them and say 'I had no self-control over what I ate and as a result am feeling very ill'. See how that goes down?

failing that, brisk walk, some medication and lots of water.

[snippyMcSnippy]

Hula hooping works to release the gas.

[limitedperiodonly]

Does anyone remember a gripping thread about someone's post-Christmas constipation?

It went on for a week or so.

[DejaVuAllOverAgain]

The constipation or the thread?

[Bakedpies]

i was in work at 8:45. so no time to exercise and i couldnt walk to work as its too far.
shops not open so ive just taken to stealth farting and hoping noone notices though my stomach is really painful.

[limitedperiodonly]

Both. It had it all: people were sharing experiences and advice and they were really rooting for the OP and the difficult birth of her giant turd.

It was like that Christmas/New Year period where everyone's nice to each other and then on 2 January they go back to arguing in checkout queues.

[daisychain01]

Maybe get some ginger tea if you can get to the supermarket? May not help with your immediate flatulant-fest but will settle the tum overnight.

I expect there are an awful lot of people in the same boat.

Maybe the government could announce a 1 day "fart amnesty" every year, then everyone could parp merrily without fear of retribution. Just dont strike a match, whatever you do.

[RhondaJean]

Andrews liver salts. ASAP.

You can thank me later!