To expect my Mum to look after the dog?

(120 Posts)
ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:15:48

She's my brothers dog. My brother is in hospital awaiting some surgery but he's fine...the dog is an unneutered female greyhound....18 months old. I have two DC and a cat!

I have had the dog for ten days now...I keep her in the sitting room and garden whilst my lazy cat lives upstairs as usual. However, my cat has to come down twice a day to eat and say hello...this is his habit.

So I keep the sitting room door shut at all times...to avoid them meeting. This results in two stressed out DC...they're 5 and 9 and can't exit and enter freely....and the dog wants to be nxt to me all day naturally as she is insecure....so when she can't follow me into the kitchen she whines and howls.

She barks all night so someone sleeps downstairs near her.

She has been in heat...and my sofa has had to be covered in towels as she leaks....she wont' go in her basket...and once you leave the room she jumps on the sofa.

My Mum works part time, two hours each morning and has a three bed house...with garden and she is avoiding taking her turn with the dog. SHe claims "I won't be able to get any sleep" and "I wont be strong enough to hold her when she tries to follow me out of the house in the morning"

Well I am sick of the dog now. I have done my best...there's no money for kennels....AIBU to tell mum "You'll HAVE to have her on Thursay as I can't anymore."

She will likely only have her for about 4 days as my brother should be out on Monday anyway!

livinginawinterwonderland Mon 09-Dec-13 13:17:12

I don't think she should have to have an animal in her house if she doesn't want to.

DustyBaubles Mon 09-Dec-13 13:17:29

I think your brother should pay for kennels.

Nobody should have to look after someone else's dog.

DustyBaubles Mon 09-Dec-13 13:18:34

Does your brother have some kind of pet insurance that would pay for kennels in an emergency/hospitalisation type situation?

I think your last sentence answered it! She should really help out. Think about how you would feel if it was your children when they grow up!

As a mother you would want to help them.

Your sleep is just as important as your mums, IMHO and I think you should ask your mum very nicely, with a little pressure, to help you out as your are driving yourself insane.

Sounds like you have done a blinding job, but 10 days of unsettled house and family life is way too much to ask. You have done above and beyond what is reasonable. I would say. xxx

RedLondonBus Mon 09-Dec-13 13:19:47

What was the original agreement?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Mon 09-Dec-13 13:22:24

YABU to expect her to look after the dog.

YANBU to ask her to look after the dog.

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:22:37

No money for kennels as I said. My brother is irresponible and has no insurance and obviuously has not had the dog neutered. The original plan was....well....everyone moaned "what will we do with the dog?" and yours truly said "i:ll have her for a while." BUt I didn't think it would be this long....I think my Mum needs to mum-up a bit!

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:23:53

Santa here's how I feel about it....the dog is not mine...I don't have to ask her to look after it, it's her SON'S dog. If she does not, then I am going to take her to the dog rescue. I've had enough. She's all for my brother's welfare but not stepping up. Yes she visits him...I have too though....she works and is fit enough.

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:25:55

When I said "I will have to get it into the rescue then" she went all "Oh nooo you can't!" but still wouldn't agree to take her. She' gets all "Oh well we'll see when he's out shall we?"

I'm going to tell her to collect the dog on Thursday and then take it home or I will be taking it to the shelter. It's a lovely dog really and I feel sorry for her...but I am sick of cleaning up her mess.

Morgause Mon 09-Dec-13 13:26:36

Take it to Dog Rescue. I wouldn't have it either, I don't like dogs.

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:27:48

Well I do like dogs Morgause which is why I said I'd have her...I wanted to minimize her stress as she knows me well. I will take her to Mums on Thursday. That's that. I am going MAD with this situation now.

notanotherusername1 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:27:52

Sounds very stressful for everyone. would it be carnage if dog and cat met? Does cat have a litter tray? If so could you not just for these last few days not leave the cat upstairs and feed up there.

A real shame your Mum could not help out for a few days though.

A dog crate could have solved a few problems but guess a litte late now.

You have done your best, I would perhaps try once more with your Mum and then just accept if she won't help 4 days and it will be over.

Will your Brother be in a position to walk and care for the dog when he is home? Could he get a dog walker in for a few days.

I can't imagine not doing my bit in these circumstances.

bundaberg Mon 09-Dec-13 13:27:56

yanbu. take the dog over to her and tell her if she doesn't sort it out then you'll call the dog warden and get them to take it.

it was kind of you to have the dog, but you've had enough and that's ok! your mum has a choice of either letting it stay at hers or kennelling it, or taking it back home and paying for a pet sitter. she can get the money back from your brother,

Morgause Mon 09-Dec-13 13:28:51

Don't take her to your Mum's take her to the Dog rescue. Not fair to just dump it.

PorkPieandPickle Mon 09-Dec-13 13:30:35

I don't think either of you are BU! I'm not surprised you're fed up, but I wouldn't want the dog in your mums position I don't like dogs! She shouldn't HAVE to have it, she has a choice.

Your brother is BU for having not made provision for such a situation!!

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:30:44

Notanother the dog can walk upstairs and find the cat if I leave the sitting room door open...the cat has a tray in the bathroom and sleeps under my bed...he must be able to access his tray. So makes no difference where I feed him....if I left the door to the sitting room open so that dog can access the kitchen then he can also access the stairs. It would be carnage as the dog chases rabbits.

My brother has a neighbour who has offered to walk the dog when he gets home.

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:32:31

Well I won't be put in this position again I can tell you. DB is on a very low income....but it's no excuse. He needs to sort something out. If I had not agreed to this, God knows what would have happened. I won't be taken the piss out of.

Morgause it's not "dumping" her. I think taking her to the rescue is dumping her. Mum cares so much she'll have to put her love into action won't she/

jacks365 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:32:32

Yabu to dump the dog on your mum she isn't her responsibility. Tell your brother he has till Thursday to find someone or you will have to take her to the dog rescue, its his responsibility not your mums.

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:33:25

Jack my brother is very unwell I would never tell him that! And it's her responsibility mroe than Mine! She's his Mother.

DidoTheDodo Mon 09-Dec-13 13:33:48

YABU.
It is as much your dog as it is your mum's. You don't want her, your mum doesn't want her. It is up to your brother to find some kind of satisfactory alternative for the (poor) dog.

notanotherusername1 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:33:52

I know it's v easy for me to say but PLEASE don't drop her at the dog's home. That would be such a sad thing to happen. Such a shame your mum won't help. Is there not anyone else that could take her?

jacks365 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:35:15

His mother not his dogs mother so no she is not responsible for the dog.

ICameOnTheJitney Mon 09-Dec-13 13:36:42

Dido I disagree. As his Mother, it is more her responsibility than mine. She is his next of kin.

usename it would be sad yes. But I am sick of this. My home stinks...the dog has been washed but she smells terrible anyway and she's in EVRYTHING looking for food all the time, she has torn up a cushion and a vintage doll....she has bled everywhere....poor dog yes...but there's only so much I can do and if Mum feels so strongly about it not going to the home then she must take her. I'm, done now.

livinginawinterwonderland Mon 09-Dec-13 13:37:07

It's not your mum's responsibility just because she gave birth to him! I would never expect my parents to take care of my pets if I ended up in hospital, and I definitely wouldn't expect them to have a dog in their home if they didn't want to!

You chose to take this dog. If there's only four days left or so, suck it up, but remember what it was like and don't do it again. You can't just dump this dog on your mum because you don't want it. She doesn't have to take it, just as you didn't have to take it!

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