to let dd1 (6) be late for school one day?

(76 Posts)
muddyprints Fri 22-Nov-13 13:57:13

dd1 loves school and likes to get her attendance mark.
but every morning (including weekends) she stands around doing nothing while I try to get us all out on time.
she comes down at 7 and eats breakfast, no problems, but as soon as we go upstairs to get ready she literally just stands there. I put her uniform out and tell her to wash and dress. 5 mins later while im washing dd2 I look in her room and she is gazing out the window. I tell her again to get ready and 5 mins later she is looking at some pants.
I have tried making it a race with me, with her sister, counting while she does things, getting ready and going downstairs without her sh she can just get on, telling her she will be late, but everyday is the same.
aibu to just once not nag her and let her be late so she realises it is her getting the late mark not me.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 22-Nov-13 13:58:54

Yanbu good idea

bundaberg Fri 22-Nov-13 14:03:11

will she care though?

she is only 6

3bunnies Fri 22-Nov-13 14:03:43

Yes, you could even prompt the teacher/ head teacher to have a word with her when she does get there. Worked for a friend of mine. Her children haven't messed around since.

WooWooOwl Fri 22-Nov-13 14:05:23

This is the sort of plan that could backfire too easily.

What if she misses something that she's glad to have missed? What if the teacher doesn't mind and sends the message that it's ok that she's late because its a one off?

BackforGood Fri 22-Nov-13 14:08:58

No, I wouldn't, can't see it working with a 6yr old.
Why don't you have her in the same room as you to get dressed ? confused, then you can be prompting her, item by item, as you are helping dd2.

sOODdragon Fri 22-Nov-13 14:12:04

Try "We are leaving in 5 minutes whether you are dressed or not."

and follow it through.

muddyprints Fri 22-Nov-13 14:13:11

dds share a room so their clothes are in the same room ready but im in and out washing and dressing myself, washing dd2, packing swim bags etc. even when im in there and say put on your socks she picks up the socks then gazes at them.
she would definitely care about being late, she loves school and her teacher.
this isn't to avoid school, she is the same even if we are about to go somewhere fun at the weekend, she wants to go she is excited, but she is found standing looking at an ornament when everyone else is ready.

muddyprints Fri 22-Nov-13 14:14:19

I also do a countdown from 15 mins to go and she knows she needs help with her hair before we leave.

muddyprints Fri 22-Nov-13 14:15:00

we walk to school and im not taking her out naked.

Jenny70 Fri 22-Nov-13 14:16:01

What about getting dressed before breakfast to be done, then not go back into bedroom etc, to be distracted by stuff?

If not, bring clothes with her to breakfast, maybe being back in her room is being a distraction?

Try few other strategies before the late card - and what would happen to other child (you mention her sister), would she be late too?

I had to take my reception child to school in PJ's last year with uniform in bag, without breakfast, all over a tantrum about milk in his cereal. But told him it wasn't fair on the other children to make them late, had lots of warnings, counting down to departure etc. Hasn't done it again!

gwencooper81 Fri 22-Nov-13 14:16:30

Put the clocks forward one hour. Tell her you won't be telling her more than once what she needs to be doing. What ever state of dress she is in when it's 'time ' to leave (obviously an hour early) she will leave for School in.
I did similar with my 8 year old who was mortified at the thought of going to School half dressed.
I think genuinely being late would be being unreasonable especially if no one at School actually pulls her on it.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Fri 22-Nov-13 14:18:29

I don't know what to suggest but if it makes you feel any better my Y1 DD is exactly the same...

HoratiaDrelincourt Fri 22-Nov-13 14:19:58

I think it is probably a good idea, given what you've said about how she behaves and how she feels, but wouldn't work for all children.

Might be worth warning the teacher in advance, possibly not in so many words. Something like "I'm struggling to get DD out of the house on time at the moment because she dithers" or whatever.

gwencooper81 Fri 22-Nov-13 14:20:57

Just to add to my idea. Obviously you would have an extra hour /half hour?? To rectify the situation and you wouldn't actually be taking her out naked!

redskyatnight Fri 22-Nov-13 14:21:34

I did a carrot/stick approach i.e. "we are leaving at x hours if you are not ready by then I will impose x sanction" coupled with a "when you are totally ready to go you can watch tv". And then obviously follow through. to start with you may want to make "x hours" 10 minutes before you actually need to go, so that you do have time to sort out any last minute hiccup.

And then I stopped micromanaging i.e. I don't nag, I don't do things for them (if they need help with e.g. hair, of course I will help). I will give them a 10 minute warning if they really seem to be staring into space and doing nothing.

It only took a couple of times of Mother's wrath for them to get the idea.

muddyprints Fri 22-Nov-13 14:23:20

she is year 2 and not improving, if I ask her what she needs to do she lists everything so she knows, if I ask why she is standing in 1 sock looking at a card she doesn't know??
I don't want her dressed before breakfast because of spills but might send her up much earlier to get ready and then she can play if she has time.
at the moment 7-7.30 is breakfast then they play till 8 then get ready for 8.30. might go up and get ready at 7.30 then if she takes an hour she wont get to play/read.
I am fed up of hearing my own voice say wash/teeth/socks/pants.
she also distracts her sister and encourages her to play instead of put on her socks.
dd2 is 3 so only at playgroup so wouldn't be late for anything

Ledkr Fri 22-Nov-13 14:24:41

Yes I did this at juniors but warned the teacher.
I asked her to do stuff to get ready just once then sat and drank my coffee.
We meandered in at around 9.25 and she hated it.
She is pretty much always early for school now.
I think she needed to experience being late to avoid it.

LemonBreeland Fri 22-Nov-13 14:26:35

Yes definitely stop the play time, no playing until ready for school.

If it does not work I would try the late thing, with the teachers on side. My dc would be devastated at being late for school.

allmycats Fri 22-Nov-13 14:27:21

She's 6 for god's sake - why cant you get DD2 ready in the same room as DD1 so that you can encourage (help) DD1 - a child of that age, is very easily distracted.

FreudiansSlipper Fri 22-Nov-13 14:29:54

play for ds is only after he is ready for school and if he is really good one game of angry birds

he is so easily distracted I give myself a headache most mornings sad but it seems to be working

GhostsInSnow Fri 22-Nov-13 14:33:24

Friend of mine used to set her clocks forward half an hour. Worked like a dream grin

muddyprints Fri 22-Nov-13 14:33:55

allmycats they are in the same room, im in and out washing dd2 and sorting myself too. dd1 only needs help with her hair and sometimes I untangle her from her tights grin
but is it normal at 6 to pick up your pants and then sit there holding them and do............nothing.

VerySmallSqueak Fri 22-Nov-13 14:34:20

DD2 is 7 and she's the same.

I just make sure I'm yapping at her heels.

DD1 was the same at that sort of age,but it did pass.

I think it takes them a bit to learn the sense of urgency and passage of time.

BackforGood Fri 22-Nov-13 14:35:01

You've just identified your own problem

........at the moment 7-7.30 is breakfast then they play till 8 then get ready for 8.30.

Obviously you don't have time to play until you are all ready to go out.

Things like swimming bags can also be got ready the night before if it's causing a problem in the morning.

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