To have reported this woman for harassment in the work place?

(127 Posts)
MoveYourArmsLikeHenry Sun 10-Nov-13 19:27:07

Dh and I have not been married for long. I am protestant and he is Catholic. Most people were happy for us and didn't give a shit about the cultural differences between us, only cared that we were happy togther, which we most definitely are.

There is this one woman who I work with who is very against "mixed religion" relationships. She wouldn't come to our wedding because it was against her beliefs, and she told us so. Fine, that's her choice and doesn't really affect me.

When work colleagues congratulated me on our marriage she would roll her eyes, tut, raise her eyebrows and generally just behave like a bored toddler. Didn't bother me because I had more bloody important things to worry about that her childish behaviour.

On friday though, she said something that, in my opinion, was bang out of order and downright rude. Another colleague who I am very friendly was telling me about her daughter's christening that is coming up shortly. She was telling me all the details of it; lovely church, nice godparents etc, and I told her how lovely it all sounded. Other colleague, who wasn't even involved in our discussion asked me "How are you going to christen your ds if you are different religion?" I politely told her that we have decided not to christen our son and let him choose to do so himself when he is older, if that's what he wants. She then starts telling me that it was "evil to do this to ds as he needs to be saved" hmm

Cue me asking her what business is it off hers to judge how Dh and I raise our child, this was not appropriate and could she please stop. Only she wouldn't stop. She went as far to tell me that my marriage was "sinful"!

I can't believe someone say say such horrible, inappropriate things to someone else.

Was IU for reporting her to our manager for harassment? Ok, I know I wasn't but I still feel a bit "bad" for it.

RandomMess Sun 10-Nov-13 19:29:26

Blimey, where do you live? I just can't believe that sort of attitude still exists!

You did the right thing she needs to keep her mouth shut when it comes to religion.

Lottiedoubtie Sun 10-Nov-13 19:29:52

Yanbu I'm shock that this is still going on.

I'm in the same sort of 'mixed' marriage- and no one has ever said or given us the impression that it was anything other than totally normal.

SoleSorceress Sun 10-Nov-13 19:30:32

YANBU

Why would you be?

josephinebruce Sun 10-Nov-13 19:31:03

YADNBU! I think you'll find she has broken the Equality Act 2010. What you are doing is entirely reasonable for your DS. Your marriage is not sinful. SHe's the one with the problem.

noisytoys Sun 10-Nov-13 19:31:34

I'm guessing you're in Ireland? Shocking behaviour! YANBU to report!

CoffeeTea103 Sun 10-Nov-13 19:32:24

Yanbu report her. I'm sure everyone who heard this will back you up. It is absolutely none of her business.

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Sun 10-Nov-13 19:32:39

Protestants and Catholics are both Christians surely? As if that matters anyway compared to her rudeness.

Tell her to go read up on what Jesus said about love and grace - and to find a bloody dictionary.

MulberryHag Sun 10-Nov-13 19:33:20

What?! Having your child christened has nothing to do with them being "saved"! She was wrong to attack you, I think you did the right thing. Even if nothing comes from it from management, at least it is on her record. Ignore her, she's clearly has issues!

qazxc Sun 10-Nov-13 19:33:47

YANBU
She was acting like an idiot and you ignored. she then started spouting off and you asked her to stop. she wouldn't stop. What else were you meant to do?

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Sun 10-Nov-13 19:34:37

Yes, and that too! Nowhere in Christian doctrine does infant baptism 'save' anybody.

hermioneweasley Sun 10-Nov-13 19:35:29

I think she may be in the wrong century

CustardLover Sun 10-Nov-13 19:35:40

YANBU at all. That's nuts. If your marriage bothers her so much she must spend a lot of her time being very stressed and unhappy at the modern world; I actually feel sorry for her. But that doesn't mean she can get away with being a pain to you, hence YANBU to report her.

MoveYourArmsLikeHenry Sun 10-Nov-13 19:35:59

Thanks everyone. I just needed to rant about it. When I told Dh about it he bloody laughed hmm. Yes we're in Ireland.

I'm surprised and sad that people still hold those opinions sad

Sinful. Fucking stupid bint. YANBU

treaclesoda Sun 10-Nov-13 19:37:09

are you in Northern Ireland by any chance?

YANBU, its none of her business and even if she holds strong views about it, the workplace is not the place to raise them.

To the poster who said Protestant and Catholic are both Christian, that's not entirely how it is seen in N Ireland. (Although I realise the OP has not specified that she is in NI, so maybe I've put 2 and 2 together and got 5).

treaclesoda Sun 10-Nov-13 19:37:16

are you in Northern Ireland by any chance?

YANBU, its none of her business and even if she holds strong views about it, the workplace is not the place to raise them.

To the poster who said Protestant and Catholic are both Christian, that's not entirely how it is seen in N Ireland. (Although I realise the OP has not specified that she is in NI, so maybe I've put 2 and 2 together and got 5).

treaclesoda Sun 10-Nov-13 19:38:14

ooh, didn't mean to post twice blush

Mushypeasandchipstogo Sun 10-Nov-13 19:38:16

I am also a C of E married to a Catholic. I must admit I have never had anybody say anything as horrendous as this. The woman is demented and UANBU ,report her or at least have the recent incident formally recorded.

Tee2072 Sun 10-Nov-13 19:39:40

I would assume the OP lives in either Scotland or Northern Ireland. I know this attitude still exists here in NI.

You did right by reporting her. I wouldn't feel bad about it.

Bunbaker Sun 10-Nov-13 19:39:53

Where I live no-one would bat an eyelid about a marriage/partnership where each partner is from a different religious background. Where do you live that it matters so much?

Bunbaker Sun 10-Nov-13 19:40:51

Sorry, answers appeared as I posted.

cjel Sun 10-Nov-13 19:44:00

OP, I'm sorry that you have to work with this woman. YADNBU Where I live we all mix as one and even share ministers and priests for some services.

PedantMarina Sun 10-Nov-13 19:51:06

Well done. Bigots like that shouldn't be allowed out in public, let alone saying shit like that with no consequences.

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