What would you do if your DP was a zombie

(138 Posts)
FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 12:52:41

Would you attempt to kill them.

If zombies turn humans into zombies would your rather be a zombie like your DP

It's him or the DCs, no contest really.

ipswichwitch Sat 09-Nov-13 12:00:47

I'd have to stove his head in and run off with Darryl Dixon (sorry DH!!)

OodaresingingoftheDoctorDonna Fri 08-Nov-13 18:22:00

Dh says he will hit me in the head , I'm putting him on a lead a la 'walking dead' packhorse.

We're debating how we tell if the slow moving teen is a zombie.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 04-Nov-13 22:03:33

I have just worked out a new zombie plan and not going to tell DH.

If DH knows it he will know my weakness.

Aibu to keep this top secret.

FoofGoesPoof Mon 04-Nov-13 19:07:49

Agreed OrmirianR

OrmirianResurgam Mon 04-Nov-13 19:06:12

Smash the fucker's skull!!!

<wonders if anyone noticed the teeny residue of irritation towards DH>

grin

Of course I'd kill him. He wouldn't be my DH, he'd be a mindless drooling groaning monster... much like he is every Sat afternoon whilst watching the football.

needaholidaynow Mon 04-Nov-13 19:05:14

He was the other day and I just laughed at him grin

headlesslambrini Mon 04-Nov-13 19:03:28

I haven't had a conversation about this with DH. I'm really worried now, has anyone got any tips on how to broach the subject?

FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 04-Nov-13 18:58:48
FortyDoorsToNowhere Mon 04-Nov-13 18:58:00

I am thinking about setting up a zombie protection plan.

For a quote go to www.fortyzombieprotection.com

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs Mon 04-Nov-13 18:47:27

We've talked about this too (in a scary amount of detail). We both agree that if one of us gets turned, the other has to end them. We honestly thought about adding it to our vows!

ToriaPumpkin Mon 04-Nov-13 15:54:25

I would kill him then make a nice cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over. We've got a garage full of nice heavy blunt instruments, climbing and ice axes, ski poles and wood axes and a claymore in the attic so I reckon I'd stand a good chance. I also have a neighbour who works for the firearms branch of the police so provided he'd survived the first wave I'd head round to his house with DS, the camping stove and all the tinned food.

DawnOfTheDee Mon 04-Nov-13 15:47:09

I think the pension/insurance thing depends on what type of zombie apocalypse you are experiencing.

A - the dead have risen as there is no more room in hell George A Romero-traditional style zompoc

or

B - a pandemic where humans are infected with a virus e.g. the 'Rage' virus in 28 Days Later.

If you are in Zompoc A then yes an insurance policy would pay out. If you are in Zompoc B then no it wouldn't. In scenario B you wouldn't be able to kill him either as that would render the policy void too. You could just send him on his way and hope someone else kills him.....then we would pay out.

DavidHarewoodsFloozy Mon 04-Nov-13 15:37:58

I,m quite concerned about insurance also.

Would i get his pension? How would that work?

We really need clarity on the financial side.

middleclassdystopia Mon 04-Nov-13 07:37:26

I'd always hope for a cure, so would probably let dh and dc bite.

2kidsintow Sun 03-Nov-13 23:22:14

My Dh has one leg. I'd steal his prosthetic one, so he wouldn't be a very mobile zombie. smile

aquashiv Sun 03-Nov-13 23:19:34

Do they move quite fast at times? If so it would be an improvement, though I would keep my distance and would not seek to join him. I don't like what happens to their hair.

Greenfircone Sun 03-Nov-13 23:11:29

If he's a zombie would the insurance pay out and sort our mortgage? Must check on that, otherwise he'd have to stay in the garage. He'd be happy there and probably prefer it to being in the house dealing with the kids and might make us some money making fence panels or something.

Shodan Sun 03-Nov-13 23:05:10

Dh's noisy eating annoys me enough as it is. There's no way I could tolerate the noise he'd make eating human flesh.

I would break my own rule and use my best Sabatier carving knife to stab him in the head. And then enjoy the peace and quiet (until the other zombies come).

If it was the DC, I'd stab them too, because it would mean they'd disobeyed a direct instruction from me - 'Do not, under ANY circumstances, allow yourselves to be zombified'- and therefore would need to be Taught A Lesson.

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 22:23:51

I'm buying my niece this Barbie, so that she can prepare, just in case.

MrsMaryCooper Sun 03-Nov-13 21:50:29

Kill him. He would kill me.

If it was DC we would keep in the shed and feed him other people and cats.

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 20:53:03

Thank you Fourty. smile

Lweji Sun 03-Nov-13 20:51:17

If it was my GM we'd probably throw her anyway blush to gain some time. She's a complete twat and abusive too. Even the zombies might avoid her.
She's surprisingly strong at almost 103 and might be able to beat up a few (as when she slapped some of the poor women who have been helping take care of her sad ).

VerySmallSqueak Sun 03-Nov-13 20:50:58

But I would have the money....

<evil cackle>

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 03-Nov-13 20:48:12

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