To want visitors to let me know when they'll be arriving?

(15 Posts)
MrsRoss26 Sun 27-Oct-13 15:32:38

Relatives are due to visit today (from a few hundred miles away) and haven't told me when they're likely to turn up. When asked they first said 'tomorrow' (today), then when politely pressed, 'afternoon'. I said I needed to know for meal planning, and even that didn't elicit further information.

With a 3mo baby AIBU to expect a little more courtesy and at least indicate when they're likely to leave?

A few hundred miles could mean that a bit of traffic means hours of delay.

Euphemia Sun 27-Oct-13 15:34:25

YANBU.

Just get on with whatever you would normally do. If they turn up in the middle of dinner, direct them to the take-away.

What is the purpose of their visit?

Moxiegirl Sun 27-Oct-13 15:35:11

Yanbu! I don't like having visitors anyway but if they must come I want to know when!

gaggiagirl Sun 27-Oct-13 15:36:40

Yanbu.

I hate this. My friend does this to me. Drives me nuts.

Lock the doors or go out. Since they wouldn't tell you when they are arriving how can they expect you to be in?

WestieMamma Sun 27-Oct-13 15:38:50

YABU travelling that far can be impossible to pin down a time. When I've been up the M6 to visit my sister it has taken anything from 2 to 12 hours.

Mynewmoniker Sun 27-Oct-13 15:42:57

Carry on as normal. Beans on toast for them if they haven't eaten. They might even recognise you've got the baby to take into account and cook the tea themselves.

Keep them busy by not refusing their help to make cups of tea etc.

I hope they are taking you out to dinner as a thanks for putting them up.

Just think...what would Queen Neferteetee do?

EBearhug Sun 27-Oct-13 15:50:18

YANBU, even without a 3mo. I always say things like, "I'll be leaving X around 2pm, so I should be there by 7pm, as I'll need a loo break en route, but it also depends on the traffic round Y. I'll let you know if there are problems which will make it look like we're going to be delayed.

Of course you can't pin it down to the minute, particularly with long journeys, but if you know it takes at least 4 hours, then you should know that you're at least aiming to arrive by afternoon or evening or whatever, even if conditions conspire against you and it does end up taking you three times as long. I have no issue with problems that can't be helped, but people should have enough consideration for my time as well as theirs to be able to give me some idea of their intentions to within an hour or so, so I can at least plan for lunch/tea/dinner or that I need to nip round with the vacuum now, or can leave it till later in the afternoon after I've popped to the shops.

EBearhug Sun 27-Oct-13 15:51:19

Just think...what would Queen Neferteetee do?

Get the slaves to sort them out. There is some flaw in that plan somewhere...

MrsRoss26 Sun 27-Oct-13 16:42:35

They're coming to meet the lo for the first time & then on south tomorrow for a holiday. I don't like not being told because I'd always try to give fair warning of arrival time. Interesting responses from some! Even if arrival times can vary, you can always update your host, surely?

friday16 Sun 27-Oct-13 17:08:33

When I've been up the M6 to visit my sister it has taken anything from 2 to 12 hours.

Yeah, but you can still give an expected time of arrival, and then update if the conditions change.

They're coming to meet the lo for the first time & then on south tomorrow for a holiday.

So actually, they're using you as a cheap hotel, because otherwise they'd need to stay in a TravelLodge. Tell them that you need a rough time, or if they've confused you with a hotel, they need to find a hotel. They sound hard work.

MrsRoss26 Sun 27-Oct-13 17:31:44

Friday that is how I feel! The only other time this relative has visited was en route elsewhere too. Blood is no guarantee of manners, is it?

LineRunner Sun 27-Oct-13 17:33:51

& then on south tomorrow for a holiday

It's not likely to be much of holiday, really.

EBearhug Sun 27-Oct-13 23:33:10

Hotels usually like you to give some indication of when you're likely to check in, and usually state you can't check in before 2am and they won't hold the room after midnight. So even hotels don't expect you to turn up just any time at all.

BewitchedBefuzzledBewildered Mon 28-Oct-13 00:02:10

If it's any consolation, going south is not going to be much of a holiday tomorrow [evil smile]

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