To be silent for the day

(34 Posts)
GruffBillyGoat Sun 20-Oct-13 07:03:10

Today is the only day that my DP and I are both not working and able to spend time together for the afternoon. (he worked all morning, but has the afternoon off)

We both sat down at our laptops, I asked what he was up to, he jumped down my throat and said he just wanted a moments peace and quiet. I did not speak again for over an hour, then picked up the cat for cuddles saying something along the lines of 'your dad won't cuddle me so you have to, deal with it', I was again yelled at about how attention seeking I am and that he just wanted a moments peace and quiet.

I have now stopped speaking. I am aware that I am being childish, but am I being unreasonable?

I feel like shit that I can't even ask what he is up to without being called an 'ADHD attention seeker'.

GruffBillyGoat Sun 20-Oct-13 07:09:39

Half an hour in to my silence and he has noticed. He is now bouncing around, getting in my face and screeching 'baby' repeatedly. I think I may just go out for a while.

What an arse, I am sorry he is behaving so badly. I would just go out and have a nice day without him.

HKat Sun 20-Oct-13 07:18:21

He is being an arse - but the passive aggressive talking to him through the cat thing would have wound me right up!

GruffBillyGoat Sun 20-Oct-13 07:21:16

I didn't think he could hear me talking to the cat, I was just bugging the cat. Coz he was cute and everyone knows being that adorable is just asking to be annoyed.

livinginwonderland Sun 20-Oct-13 07:22:55

Go out and leave him to it if he wants peace and quiet. No point staying in and winding each other up.

manticlimactic Sun 20-Oct-13 08:28:24

Yup, I'd just go out. But I'd be having words later about screeching in your face. What a cock!

Squitten Sun 20-Oct-13 08:30:44

Does he normally behave like this?! He sounds unhinged...

christinarossetti Sun 20-Oct-13 08:31:33

Is your relationship usually like this?

plum100 Sun 20-Oct-13 08:35:33

He sounds a bit odd tbh - which adults go round screeching in faces?

BlackholesAndRevelations Sun 20-Oct-13 08:41:04

You both sound a bit odd! Jumping around screeching = odd (and he reckons YOU are an "ADHD attention seeker"?!) However, talking through cat (and telling anyone/thing "deal with it", which really gets on my nerves) = also odd.

WhereToGoForReferal Sun 20-Oct-13 08:50:04

He's been working all morning while you have had time to yourself - give him a break!

You both sound very immature, how old are you?

Beastofburden Sun 20-Oct-13 09:05:20

I don't think that you were reasonable. He may be tired, or he may be someone like me who desperately needs down time before he can face more interaction with people. My DH wouldn't dream of interrupting my quiet time, and he knows that once I have had it, I will be sociable.

You've made it all about you. Why can't I ask what he is doing? I feel rejected that I can't ask.

He could just as fairly think, why can't she think about me, I feel rejected that she doesn't care how tired I am, she just wants chat and cuddles the minute I come in, and now I am getting the silent treatment.

You need to try to understand how he feels, much more tired than you and possibly more of a quiet type. He has worked all morning, you didn't, I bet you had a bit of quiet when he was out.

He sounds like a fruit loop, go out and re-think your relationship.

erm you both sound a little immature.

AmberLeaf Sun 20-Oct-13 09:20:19

Beastofburden good post.

bsc Sun 20-Oct-13 09:20:34

"being adorable is asking to be annoyed"

hmm

That is just a weird view on the world, sorry.

pictish Sun 20-Oct-13 09:22:59

I think you both sound ineffective at communicating well.
The silent treatment and making passive aggressive digs through the cat - ridiculous.
Screeching in your face - completely unacceptable.

SAounds like you've got into some pretty unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Howsuper Sun 20-Oct-13 09:24:15

I do think you sound attention seeking, sorry.

Sometimes I don't want to chat to my husband and vice versa - it is allowed in our sane and adult house.

It's really hard to tell from your op as it's rather one sided. How is your relationship usually?

Vivacia Sun 20-Oct-13 09:25:33

Both of you seem to be behaving oddly.

pictish Sun 20-Oct-13 09:26:15

Yopu may think talking through to the cat makes you 'adorable'...I'm pretty sure I'd disagree and find it passive aggressive and annoying as fuck.

That said - no way would I be screeching insults in your face. What an idiot!

pictish Sun 20-Oct-13 09:32:16

Oh sorry - you mean the cat is adorable and asking to be annoyed! grin
Yeah...I read it differently to that, but never mind....

Still never make passive aggressive comments about your dp or the situation, through your cat though.

Talk to each other - like adults.

Delilahlilah Sun 20-Oct-13 09:48:33

I think you should 're-post in relationships. There sounds like there is much more to this.... maybe some online support would help you.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 20-Oct-13 10:22:33

I wouldn't dream of disturbing DH in work, unless it was a very good reason.

I am sorry but he is working, and having being disturbed no matter how well meaning is not on.

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