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AIBU?

To think all this naming and shaming business is a bit shitty

96 replies

tasteslikechicken · 16/10/2013 16:14

I've noticed three threads over the last couple of days that seem really vindictive, with the sole purpose of damaging peoples small businesses (and therefore income). I cant think of any other circumstances where mumsnetters would seek to do that to another person.

I think if you are going to name and shame you should have the courage of your convictions and out yourself too.

The anonymity afforded by this site allows people to express themselves more freely than they would in RL, I think it's poor form to abuse this by snipping at businesses on such a public forum.

Some people have made the comparison to when large organisations i.e. supermarkets, large retailers etc. are named then it's the same thing.

I disagree; when you are commenting on these large organisations they are just that- organisations- with thousands of people in them. When posters are focussing on a single, often small business, there is a very different quality to the thread which I see as a bit cowardly and punitive with the sole aim being to hurt and damage someone.

Reassuringly, many people quickly point out the OPs motives and unreasonable behaviour, unfortunately once the horse has bolted though.

Just to clarify, I think there are many situations when anonymity is important, I don't think any of the posts I've seen apply, they've just been spiteful and ultimately compromised the OPs perhaps justified initial irritation.

OP posts:
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BrokenSunglasses · 16/10/2013 16:17

Yanbu, I completely agree with you.

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ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/10/2013 16:19

Yanbu, but lots of people seem to like working themselves up on to a self righteous froth and then posting on the business's fb etc it's recognised MN sport

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NotYoMomma · 16/10/2013 16:19

small businesses have so much pressure on them atm anyway it is horrible.

I speak to small businesses having to put off expansion or even closing often as part of my job Sad

[disclaimer] some are lovely people and some are not

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Bowlersarm · 16/10/2013 16:22

YANBU.

Bad form by the annoyed-with-the-cafe poster. How can the cafe defend itself against the Internet forums? I hope that adverse publicity works here, and they get more people though the doors because of it.

I haven't seen the other threads, I don't think.

It's petty and wrong.

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SoupDragon · 16/10/2013 16:23

TBH, it depends on what they're being named and shamed about and whether it is true.

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PlatinumStart · 16/10/2013 16:31

I think if someone is being shamed over something that did in fact happen then it's acceptable and a case of you reap what you sow.

The difficulty is where people might make up complaints just to be vindictive, but presumably most people don't do this?

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quoteunquote · 16/10/2013 16:31

www.urban75.org/info/libel.html

they can always use libel if it is a lie.

well the one with the bride dress the owner came on and sorted it out,

as did the bitty one,

Because they felt the pressure, so had to react, good use of people power.

Small business can give good customer service, as for preventing a three year old using the loo, well that is silly, and of course a mum would want a rant about it, or were they genuinely worried about one flush and a bit of loo roll, or a massive cue of three year olds wanting to use the loo each day?

I'm sure the owner if they cared could come on and have a chat.

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DreamlessSleep · 16/10/2013 16:38

Its a last resort type thing but I will agree the ones ive seen have been over quite minor things which I wouldnt have named them over personally.

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Fleta · 16/10/2013 16:41

YANBU I completely agree

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EldritchCleavage · 16/10/2013 16:43

they can always use libel if it is a lie

Not easy, and certainly not quick or cheap.

I think we are being trolled, with a side order of dishing out some RL revenge.

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manicinsomniac · 16/10/2013 16:45

Agreed, YANBU. The anonymous person is in a position of power and it's unfair.

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ExcuseTypos · 16/10/2013 16:51

I agree with you OP.

It's fine to come on and say x, y and z happened. What shall I do?

But to name a small business is not on.

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janey68 · 16/10/2013 16:59

Taking on a libel action certainly isn't quick or cheap, but MN have been stung before so youd think they would be wary of letting such threads stand. I hope they don't consider the fact that its small businesses involved as less of a worry because this is people's livelihood

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tracypenisbeaker · 16/10/2013 17:09

Well said OP. There are two sides to every story, and lets face it, there are people out there who will put their emotive spin on a version of events, and the small business will have no way of fighting back.

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Laquitar · 16/10/2013 17:16

I totally agree OP.
Some of the posters on those threads have no clue howbusinesses are run, turnover, margin profit etc. They just think it is clever to co,plain because they didnt have enough attention or something. It is nasty.

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SleepyFish · 16/10/2013 17:21

YANBU. The problem is it could easily be a load of lies spun by a competitor.
I take those threads with a large pinch of salt.

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PresidentServalan · 16/10/2013 17:21

YANBU - I think it's disgusting and you have hit the nail on the head - some anonymous person names and shames a small business, the troops rally round and the next thing you know, people who have only the one side of the story bombard Facebook, tripadvisor etc. Some kind of mob mentality seems to take over. I reported one thread and would do the same again.

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IslaValargeone · 16/10/2013 17:24

Absolutely agree OP.

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PresidentServalan · 16/10/2013 17:25

People have been moaning about goady opinions but going online anonymously and trashing a business by name is pathetic and bullying behaviour.

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Onesleeptillwembley · 16/10/2013 17:26

I agree, it's especially wrong when the op is an entitled prat that didn't get their own way.

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Lazyjaney · 16/10/2013 17:26

YANBU, a lot of complaints recently seem unreasonable, if not vindictive. It's also very hard to bring libel actions against anonymous randoms on the Net, not to mention expensive.

I do think it's worth treating the company's name being mentioned as akin to trolling

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Sparklingbrook · 16/10/2013 17:27

The thing that scares me is the suggestion of 'flashmobs' (is that the right term).

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KirjavaTheCorpse · 16/10/2013 17:28

Yanbu.

Often the OP will come on here and either straight-up name and shame in the OP, or be coaxed into doing so, without ever having made a complaint directly to the establishment.

You read through the thread and sometimes the business' response is completely baffled as the furor and public outrage is the first they've heard of any issue. Completely unfair.

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Laquitar · 16/10/2013 17:33

I like it when they have spent 50p , created mess etc and they say ' you ve just lost a customer' , i m sure the owner is happy she has lost an attention seeker.

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PresidentServalan · 16/10/2013 17:37

Tbh Bowlersarm I hope you are right - I would make a point of going into these cafés etc if I was in the area

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