To wish my friend would STOP telling me how well her baby sleeps

(76 Posts)
SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 07-Oct-13 11:37:06

I AM being unreasonable, I know. But Grrrr.... angry

My friend had a little boy 2 weeks ago, and he sleeps beautifully, only wakes once or twice in the night for a feed, has lovely long naps in the day, and feeds well.

I suffered with both mine - tongue ties and feeding issues, never sleeping, etc etc. am still in the throes of sleep deprivation with 6 month DS who only naps 20 mins at a time and wakes up every 2 hours (or less) at night.

I am very very happy for her, and I'm not wishing for her idyllic baby to change, but AIBU to wish she'd STOP texting me saying 'Ah, DS just had a 3 hour nap after his morning feed', or posting on FB about how she's finding everything soooo easy, keeping her house clean and getting everything done.

It's driving me insane! She knows how knackered I am. Stop with the stealth boasting! It makes me feel shit.

angry

As you were.

SparkleToffee Mon 07-Oct-13 14:17:51

if she thinks she's got parenthood problems sorted in 2 weeks she's in for a bloody massive shock.
what thebody says......

She might be one of the really lucky ones who has a brilliant sleeper from birth / a few weeks, but I doubt it....... And your right to feel annoyed. If she is lucky enough to have a baby who does that she should thank her lucky stars and realise how it is down to luck and nothing to do with her!

I hate parental stealth boasters too...... The kind of people who treat having a baby like another job with goals to achieve. My DS was a shocking shocking sleeper and I had one friend whose baby was much better than DS. However DS potty trained in a weekend (I have no idea how) and almost a year after she started with DD she was still carrying spare pants and wiping wee off slides..........

A well sleeping baby does not mean you are destined to find the "whole of parenting" easy!

Hope your baby sleeps soon

Melonbreath Mon 07-Oct-13 15:04:23

Yanbu with a capital YANBU
I remember a few months ago when dd decided to have screaming non sleeping fits from 2am until 6 and she was up for the day at half 7. A friend texted me saying, wow. Ds did 13 hours of sleep in one go.
If I could have dived down the phone to kill her I would have.

violator Mon 07-Oct-13 15:09:13

YANBU.
I had a similar friend. She'd moan that she had to wake her daughter at 9.30am because, like, the morning "was practically gone" and she wanted to go out.
Meanwhile I was ready for lunch at 9.30am having been up most of the night and for the day at 4.30am.

The same friend is due No2 any day now. We'll see if its the same this time.

everlong Mon 07-Oct-13 15:09:17

Block her?? Christ that's a bit extreme!

OP my best sleeper turned out to be the teenager from hell. Keep that in mind wink

Floggingmolly Mon 07-Oct-13 15:11:43

She's two weeks in... Things can turn on a sixpence at that age, she's got no more guarantee of that continuing than you have of your situation not being resolved tomorrow!

DS was a good sleeper for the first three months, and then again from about three years old. What happened for the two and three quarter years in between is another matter! I'm still recovering. grin

Googlella Mon 07-Oct-13 15:13:26

He's only 2 weeks old - definitely not out of the woods yet!

HeffalumpTheFlump Mon 07-Oct-13 15:13:34

I fear things may change in the next few weeks. My friends baby slept like an angel for the first three, but now at 5 weeks old it has all gone up the spout. My friend is now feeling like she jinxed it by saying what a great sleeper she was!!

Yanbu, fb posts are one thing, but texting you to tell you about it is a tad annoying!

Jengnr Mon 07-Oct-13 15:14:55

Two weeks in she's probably trying to put on a front about how well she's coping. For the first couple of months I put make up on every day just to look good and show I could cope.

Now I'm more confident in my skills I'm back to being a scrubber smile

Zara1984 Mon 07-Oct-13 15:17:48

Pride comes before a massive fall... Just ignore her OP. She will soon discover it's not all plain sailing!

Totally agree on the STFU until asked about good sleeping. Otherwise it's just rude and rubbing it in. (I say that as the parent of an excellent sleeper, so I shut my yap on the topic generally)

sashh Mon 07-Oct-13 15:18:06

OK, not a parent so I have maybe got this wrong but.

If you are a new mum and your baby is asleep why the hell are you on facebook?

There are two things this reminds me of

1) the saying "hungry children talk about food"

and

2) the parent who assured my mother her little boy never had accidents and she couldn't cope with a child (me) who was still having them at 4.

She may have been telling the truth, but for some reason she would do a wash of just the little boy's pyjamas and bedding.

Zara1984 Mon 07-Oct-13 15:19:09

Also I am firmly of the belief that anyone who says how easy it is during the first two months is (1) extremely lucky or (2) lying.

Usually the second one I find....

toobreathless Mon 07-Oct-13 15:24:39

Karma will bite her on the butt.

And you sound lovely.

brew cake

(YANBU)

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 07-Oct-13 15:26:29

Aargh. She just texted me AGAIN to say how wonderful her new baby sling is, and that her DS has slept beautifully in it while she has done the housework.

<Dismally surveys bomb site of house>

AIBU to ask her to come round and do MINE? grin

roundtable Mon 07-Oct-13 15:32:19

Yes get her to do yours! Op, as a mum of a fellow non sleeper, you have my sympathy.

If she's not normally like this I'd put it down to her wanting to share the joy. Keep up the realism, she'll join in eventually. grin

Zara my 3rd was easy for the first 4 weeks, we went on holiday with him and everything, he was no bother, mostly slept, fed well, was the only 1 of my 3 not to have a tongue tie, therefore not to be constantly vomiting back milk because of swallowing air with it... after DC1 who didn't sleep at all unless held upright for her first 3 months, and who brought up what appeared to be litres of breast milk, and DC2 who was a "normal" baby, easier than DC1 but woke frequently and also did the sick thing, I thought bah, 3 is easy...

Little did I know that after 4 weeks of age he was never planning to sleep again for TWO YEARS! shock

She is counting her chickens. You should suck your teeth and tut (when you read her texts not to her face) secure in the knowledge that she hasn't yet got a clue what may be around the corner...

Ragwort Mon 07-Oct-13 15:33:31

She sounds a really dull friend if she bothers to put that sort of stuff in a text - I'd get some new friends if I was you grin.

last paragraph was to *staycool btw - the parents of good sleepers who are smug about it are the most infuriating people on earth to parents who haven't slept through the night in 8 years months, but at only 2 weeks old she is still in the honeymoon period, it could so easily all go horribly wrong.

Also children who sleep very deeply and well and through the night from day dot are usually still in night nappies when they start school, and longer. grin OK not always, and it doesn't actually matter yadda yadda, but deep sleepers don't wake as easily at night, so just take comfort from the fact she'll be less smug and go a bit quiet on matters of night time dryness, which is also an area on which parents stealth boast and make others feel rubbish, when in fact it is not down to great parenting v poor, it is just nature.

MortifiedAdams Mon 07-Oct-13 15:37:12

TBH I find that when people are excessively vocal about how well their parenting/relationships/job/etc is going, its usually a smokescreen or through a lack of security.

Shes probably up every 30mins.

Pawprint Mon 07-Oct-13 15:41:34

Oh I know how you feel. Ds was the most appalling sleeper (or non sleeper) for a very long time. There was a woman at my post natal group who bragged about how much her baby slept. It broke my heart and I felt such a failure sad

Soon, however, the honeymoon period ended and she was at her wits end because the Perfect Baby became the most hellish toddler you have ever met.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Mon 07-Oct-13 15:46:33

She's a sweet girl and I know she doesn't mean it maliciously, but there's definitely an undertone of 'this parenting malarkey is easy - don't know what SayCool is on about'....

I've been telling her for 2 years, i.e. how long Ive know her, all about how difficult it is, and how sleep deprived one can get etc etc and I feel like..... Whatever the opposite of vindicated is!

I'm pretty sure I'm not making any sense. I'll hand the phone to 6mo DS because he's not bloody going to sleep He'll make more sense.

Yawner247 Mon 07-Oct-13 15:47:25

Yanbu at all haaaaaate boastful parents.hmm..both my children have been terrible nappers max of thirty mins and waking through the night!!! Dd slept through from nine months and I'm hoping Ds follows this pattern too!!!

TheABC Mon 07-Oct-13 15:48:50

Definitely insecure. Her time will come. Personally, if had a sleeper like that, I would be on the sofa with the hobnobs - not doing the housework. YANBU.

TartyMcTart Mon 07-Oct-13 16:54:13

Two weeks in she's probably trying to put on a front about how well she's coping. For the first couple of months I put make up on every day just to look good and show I could cope

But you do know that some people can cope and actually don't find the first few weeks hell on earth? It wasn't a walk in the park for me but really not as bad as I'd have believed if I'd read some of the comments on here first!

Seriously2712 Mon 07-Oct-13 17:03:09

I just don't understand some people! My dd slept very well from about 6wks, but I've always been careful not to rub it in others' faces. The weeks when she didn't sleep well were horrendous, sleep deprivation is hell! All I know is hearing about how well others babies slept would've left me raging!!!! Plus... I've always been careful not to take her great sleeping for granted, she could change at any point! ;-)

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