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AIBU?

To be surprised to have a male health visitor?

271 replies

PeriodFeatures · 05/10/2013 19:10

Just that really! I wondered what other people think?

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hettienne · 05/10/2013 19:12

I suppose not unreasonable to be surprised as it is uncommon, but no reason really for health visitors not to be male anymore than nurses.

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ReallyTired · 05/10/2013 19:12

I can't see the problem. Provided the person can do the job then it doesn't matter what sex they are.

There are male midwives as well. Infact men can do any job these days!

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gordyslovesheep · 05/10/2013 19:13

shocking - why women will want to be plumbers next - what is the world coming to? 1976 isn't what I thought it would be...

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 05/10/2013 19:14

It is 2013 still isn't it??!

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DameDeepRedBetty · 05/10/2013 19:14

The only surprise to me is that any man would put up with the shitty pay, hours etc...

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TheStitchWitch · 05/10/2013 19:15

I'd be surprised too, but in a good way.
I think it's great that men can be, HV, Midwives, primary school teachers.

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PeriodFeatures · 05/10/2013 19:15

I don't have an issue with it. Was just surprised to have a nice and quite hot bloke rock up and talk to me about breast feeding.

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UniS · 05/10/2013 19:24

I really liked our male health visitor, he was friendly, chatty, considerate and knowledge able, he was a parent too.

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Pollywallywinkles · 05/10/2013 19:31

It's still unusual to have a male health visitor, but he will be as qualified as a female.

The pay and hours for health visitors are not that bad in nursing terms.

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marzipananimal · 05/10/2013 19:35

I think some women might not be keen on a man helping them with bfing, but then HVs aren't generally known for their bf expertise I suppose!

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Mrsdavidcaruso · 05/10/2013 19:36

As long as there are measures put into place where women who have a cultural issue or women who are shy or scared of men can refuse then I see no problem.

Last month I was birth partner for a dear friend who had suffered very brutal domestic violence by her partner.

I handheld her through out her pregnancy and we had a very comprehensive birth plan in place that unless during the birth there was immediate danger or severe problems during labour that needed the input of the male obs she would be managed by female midwives only, as she is terrified of men.

Had she opened the door to a male HV it would have caused her severe trauma so there HAS to something in place to protect vulnerable women like her.

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HandMini · 05/10/2013 19:57

I had a male HV, but only for the post-natal bit (ie after you we're discharged from midwife care at about 10 days post birth).

So by then I'd had quite a lot of help from hospital and community MWs with my stitches and breastfeeding.

He was good, and like a breath of fresh air to my DP who I think thought he would never get a male perspective on the new baby world, but I would have been uncomfortable sharing all my immediate post partum issues with him.

Bit of a shame really as he was lovely and great with his advice. I don't have any religious, cultural or social reasons to have felt uncomfortable, but I would have done.

I also had a male midwife looking after me post partum with DD2. He was very experienced and I felt fine with him helping me to BF.

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hardboiledpossum · 05/10/2013 20:02

I had a male midwife who did internals, it was fine.

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DrCoconut · 05/10/2013 20:05

I had a male midwife for much of my pre and post natal care. It was different but I never had an issue with it. I would have been ok with him at the birth if it had worked out that way. He got me some treatment for my monster haemorrhoids so I am for ever in his debt for that!

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notnowbernard · 05/10/2013 20:06

I had a delightful male hv with dc1

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turkeyboots · 05/10/2013 20:07

I loved my male HV. He had no baggage about childbirth and breastfeeding which was very refreshing.

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ReallyTired · 05/10/2013 20:08

In most cases, I think that allowing women to refuse care from a man because of "cultrual or religous sensitivites" is condoning sexism. Either we have equal opportunities for people in the work place or we don't! I don't think that someone should be allowed to refuse a health visitor becuase he is male!

However if some has been a rape victim then it is different. I also think its reasonable if some wants a woman for internal examinations.

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Floggingmolly · 05/10/2013 20:15

I had one for ds1 (2nd child), who was truly a breath of fresh air. He was the only one who would answer my questions properly - all the others (different one at every visit, unfortunately) parried every single one with "oh, you'll have to ask your gp about that". Angry
After waiting approx 90 minutes to see them in the first place, I used to all but spontaneously combust.
He really was special.
Sadly by the time ds2 came along, he'd moved on. Back to "see your gp about that"...

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ihearsounds · 05/10/2013 20:35

With my youngest, we were assinged a hv, but could see any of them, on of which was male.

Anyway. He was easier to talk to. answered my questions. Didn't brush me off with some crappy answer. When I had concerns listened and helped me a lot. When I was having problems bf'ing and wanted to stop, he helped me through it, without be patronising, and basically telling me I was a failure. Unlike his bitch collegue. When I had health problems, my actual bitch of a hv didn't contact me, instead she put in a referel to ss, whereas he, came to my home to see if I was ok, let me know what she had done, and to see if there was anything he could do, other than cancel ss. Was gutted when he left.

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Opalite · 05/10/2013 20:40

ReallyTired, you don't think a woman should be allowed to refuse a male health visitor? Hmm You would rather they felt uncomfortable? I can honestly say I would find it very difficult to speak to a male health visitor about a lot of things. Its very common to ask for a female doctor when you visit the doctors, this isn't unfair at all ffs! The women who don't feel ccomfortable aren't the problem, the problem is the issues in society which have made women feel uncomfortable...

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TheCrumpetQueen · 05/10/2013 20:42

That's like being shocked at a male nurse. Essentially what hvs are really.

My hv had a good old look at my bloody second degree tear on the sofa, and I found that uncomfortable with a woman. Wouldn't have shown a bloke probably!

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jonicomelately · 05/10/2013 20:43

DP had a male district nurse. He was ex army, very good and very nice.

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JemimaMuddledUp · 05/10/2013 20:43

I had a male HV with all 3 of mine, my eldest is 11. HV was lovely and it never bothered me talking about BF etc with him.

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CoconutRing · 05/10/2013 20:45

I do not feel comfortable with any male medical professional.

I only see female nurses, doctors etc and I would certainly refuse to see a male HV.

I say this because I work within the health care community and I do not trust any of my male colleagues after witnessing some very unprofessional behaviour. The only way to protect myself from possible abuse is to avoid their care.

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ShowOfBloodyStumps · 05/10/2013 20:45

Our local male hv is wonderful. He is a very calming, sensitive and kind chap. Brilliant at bfing support too, much more so than my named female hv.

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