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AIBU?

to consider giving up my job and becoming a temp instead? desperate.

48 replies

CaramelisedOnion · 05/10/2013 00:50

I currently work in a hospitality role. My job duties include

  • recruiting new staff
  • adding up all the wages
  • paying the PAYE each month on my boss´s behalf (if I did not do it she would "forget" to pay)

- writing out manuals for each section in the restaurant
- processing all invoices
- ensuring business rates, utilities etc are set up and paid
- marketing (facebook, twitter etc)
- dealing with customer complaints
- ensuring that my boss pays parking fines etc
  • stock sheets
  • ordering

- invoicing larger clients and liasing with them about their orders, including doing consultations
  • dealing with any staff grievances (this is an almost daily occurrence)
  • answering the phone


up til now this all had to be done whilst also waitressing, sometimes being in the cafe alone except for the chef, and also sending out deliveries ith drivers to a 10 mile radius. Apparently as of next week I will have an office role....but this involves an extra 15 miles of travel per day.

My boss´s temper is very quick, I am called on my days off, at night time (sometimes as late as 1am) weekends, I am often sworn at, called names or blamed for things that I could not possibly have avoided (ie.....things which are as a result of incidents before I was employed by the company)

I make 10,500 pounds per year and work 31 hours per week.

I´m a single mother (father totally absent, does not contribute at all)

I´m at the end of my tether.

WIBU to give 2 weeks notice and temp? is it realistic to expect to get 20 - 25 hours work per week (mon- fri) consistently? I live in a major city.
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NatashaBee · 05/10/2013 01:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lessonsintightropes · 05/10/2013 01:24

That is, as you obviously realise, a shit job for not very much money. Temping might be a good solution for you, but I'd also be tempted in your shoes to stay where you are (for an extremely short period of time) whilst securing a new FOH role with better pay in order to protect your references. If you live in a major city, have great English skills (which your post suggests) and are in an area where hospitality is a growing industry (i.e. nearly all major cities) then I think you're in a great position to get something else. But it's easier to get another permanent job from one you're in rather than temping as the latter can make you look a bit flighty.

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CaramelisedOnion · 05/10/2013 01:30

My English skills are good..I am english! I also speak fluent Spanish (native level fluency)

I am just really struggling with the constant verbal abuse.

I´ve been called

"a fucking bitch"
"a stupid slag" etc - pretty much because my boss is having a bad day. I never know when its coming.

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raisah · 05/10/2013 01:43

Not just waitressing but have you considered event management? Very similar to what you are doing but looking & organing weddings, conferences and large events like that. Also, you would be perfect for a finance / payroll assistant, have a look at getting some qualifications via open university.

If you are in a large UK city, have a look at the finance & admin or HR roles advertised at the local university or HE college. Alternatively, sign up to an agency like Brook
Street and see if they can find you a long trm temping contract while you are looking for a f/t position. This particular agency is good at finding positions at unis & HE colleges so have a look.

I do think you need to leave before you become ill.

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AgentZigzag · 05/10/2013 01:45

You don't sound as though you can go on as you are much longer, the risk would be worth getting away from that wanker ten fold Angry

He's the real problem, don't you feel able to complain about him?

You're not paid to be called a bitch and a slag! I just can't imagine how that would be acceptable in anyone's books, or how I'd deal with someone treating me like that at work.

Awful for you.

Have you got any holiday due? Go to the doctor and signed off sick? I'm just thinking of how he'll be when he knows you're going, and you shouldn't have to put up with any more.

Could you get someone higher up to reign him in when you hand your notice in?

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CaramelisedOnion · 05/10/2013 01:49

the person in question is the owner of the business. There is noone higher up.

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lessonsintightropes · 05/10/2013 01:54

You're not paid to be called a bitch and a slag! This.

Hence my advice about working out an escape plan quickly - it's much easier to get a new permanent role from an existing one rather than a period of temporary employment. I worked in hospitality for 8 years during and after university before moving into a degree-related career and know that the latter isn't viewed as well. But I also know good employers find it hard to hire reliable, able staff and you're in a good position in the market at the moment. Don't worry just get cracking on some applications!

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AgentZigzag · 05/10/2013 02:09

Wiki says if the boss who's bullying you owns the company, you can go for something called constructive dismissal (after getting professional advice).

It says bullying could breach the contracts of employment, and to avoid that the "employer must not, without reasonable or proper cause, conduct himself in a manner calculated or likely to destroy or seriously damage the relationship of trust and confidence between the employer and the employee."

I'm sure you can't be arsed holding him to account, why the fuck should you spend another second thinking about this wankstain, but it's more about you feeling backed up by the law, how dare he treat you like that?

How do you react when he's like that?

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ThePerfectFather · 05/10/2013 09:31

The guys sounds like an absolute twat. Find another job then quit this one. That pay is abysmal for the role you're doing.

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ThePinkOcelot · 05/10/2013 09:44

I would start off by keeping a diary of events as they happen. You might just need them!
I would also start to look for a new job. You have a lot of experience and as someone up thread said, there are quite a few roles you could do.
Remember with temping, you don't get paid hols or sick.
Good luck Op.

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CaramelisedOnion · 05/10/2013 16:37

thanks....I just honesty feel exhausted. Phone rings and my heart sinks because it is so often going to be a tirade of screaming abuse from work :(

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AgentZigzag · 05/10/2013 16:42

What would happen if you just put the phone down on him if he talked to you like that?

Or switched your phone off?

He has no right to force you to be abused like that.

How to the other staff deal with it?

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Silverlace · 05/10/2013 16:48

I was in a similar position, also in the hospitality industry although I was single with no children. I had a bullying boss and after another day coming home in tears I sat down and worked out all my finances and decided I could leave and temp until I found what I was looking for.

After a couple of jobs I went for an interview for a temp job which turned out to be the best thing I ever did and the best job ever in a totally different industry.

If you can stand it hang on in there while looking but if you really can't stay then work out your finances to the penny and if you can afford it leave.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you as it did for me.

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Earthworms · 05/10/2013 16:52

I did a series of long term temp roles when I was between permanent jobs
I can also second the recommendation for BrookStreet agency. They are national and have/ had contracts with some biggies like DEFRA etc.

I'd apply to as many big agencies as you can, ones that specialise in admin ans some hospitality focused ones. Don't accept the short term stuff unless you are desperate, but I got offered a couple of 3 month placements fairly quickly( and this was in latev2008 early 2009 when the job situation was probably at its worst)

As long as you keep on to them whilst you are on a placement you should be able to line up something to follow on, I did this for about 6 months till I got lucky and got a permanent role, which I'm still doing, and I love.
At the time I left and took the permanent, they were actually talking about making the temporary contract into a permanent one, so temp-to-permanent is a possibility too.

My top tip is to play several agencies off against each other, and phone all of them daily till you get something. Seriously!

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MadameLeMean · 05/10/2013 16:57

Events management role would be good for you? Or assistant manager in a different small business?

Start looking now.. I wouldn't risk quitting and temping

But remember your boss needs you - so you do have the power to push back! She would be screwed if you quit, so stand up for yourself and point out that you need to be paid as asst mgr if you are to do all those duties. Put it in writing (or email)

Good luck

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BalloonSlayer · 05/10/2013 17:13

I also recommend Brook Street!

I registered with them during the University hols and was sent straight into a big household-name company doing secretarial work. I was supposed to be there for a week. Towards the end of the week one of the other secretaries in the group said she was going on holiday the next week, would I come and cover for her. So I just let Brook Street know I had arranged my own assignment for the next two weeks. When that finished the same thing happened and I cheerfully filled the whole holiday. When Christmas hols came I rang up and was straight back in the same department of the same company and the same happened after university and I ended up staying for a couple of years. It was always me who organised all my assignments once I'd got my foot in the door, someone would ring me up and say "When do you finish here? Will you come to work for me next?" and I'd agree and phone Brook Street to say "This is where I am working now." My rate went up by £5 an hour through all this, nothing to do with the agency negotiating on my behalf. They must have made the easiest money out of me ever. Grin

I know I say I recommend them and have just gone on to say that they didn't do a lot - but the point is they have a lot of contacts with good companies, and, dare I say it, a lot of temps are crrrrrap, so if you are any good the companies use you again and again.

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AgentZigzag · 05/10/2013 17:14

I totally made it up that the boss was a bloke, but reading back the OP's not said either way.

Not that it makes a difference like.

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MadameLeMean · 05/10/2013 17:23

Agent - read the third bullet pt in the OP. Boss is a woman. Not that it matters.

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BalloonSlayer · 05/10/2013 17:24

OP says "if I didn't do it she would forget to pay"

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AgentZigzag · 05/10/2013 19:31

Oh yes, thanks, the problem with skim reading.

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CaramelisedOnion · 06/10/2013 21:36

UPDATE - she fired me (again - she "fired me" last wednesday as well then begged me to come back an hour later, then told me to take paid time off until next tuesday) this morning, over the phone, coupled with her screaming about how I was "a shit stirring bitch" (not sure why) and told me that if "you dare to take me to a fucking tribunal I will wind back all the cameras so everyone can see how shit you are and what a joke you are - you will never amount to anything, the only thing you have done with your pathetic life is have a fucking kid"

I told her that I would be blocking her number.

I guess that is the decision made for me.

I was shaking, and was really intimidated. Luckily I was at my parents´house at the time so put her on speakerphone so they could confirm that I was not mad, and could see that I am not exaggerating.

No notice, so have to find a job in the next 2 or 3 days else myself and my son are screwed.

:(

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MadameLeMean · 06/10/2013 21:41

Good luck sounds like you are well rid

Get on to a tribunal if you can face it? Was the abuse mostly just over the phone and face to face?

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ThePinkOcelot · 06/10/2013 21:42

OP that is disgusting!
Get yourself to an agency in the morning. And bollocks to her saying don't take her to a tribunal! Bitch! I would visit CAB and see what they have to say.

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beepoff · 06/10/2013 21:49

OP can you name and shame this vile woman and her business so we can boycott it?

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zower · 06/10/2013 21:56

bloody hell. no wonder you are upset. i would definitely get legal advice for both financial and other reasons. sounds like unfair dismissal. poor you Sad

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