To be so upset with the school? Leaving dd age 4 alone and scared

(253 Posts)
D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 16:44:05

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D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:12:11

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BrokenSunglasses Thu 03-Oct-13 17:13:43

So what do you expect them to have done? I'm sure someone was aware that she had no club and had not been collected, and that they knew where she was. She was safe, it's not like they put her at risk.

Who exactly do you think should have been sat with her? Support staff probably go home at three, and the teachers have work to do, meetings going on, or clubs to run.

Judyandherdreamofhorses Thu 03-Oct-13 17:15:35

It's not 'poor safeguarding' practice! She was safe, just not being entertained.

I'm very surprised the school didn't call you. Even if it was a mistake on their part (miscommunication with each person assuming someone else would contact you) it is worth talking ot the head to see if they need to amend their policy for children who are not collected on time.

Don't go in fuming though, but more with an attitude of wanting to help them prevent this sort of thing happening again and a child possibly leaving the school without an adult. She shouldn't have been left alone! That is terrible.

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:16:29

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D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:17:45

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Vivacia Thu 03-Oct-13 17:18:58

I think that the school were in the wrong and need to improve their procedures. I think you need to leave it a while before letting your child stay for after school clubs, until she can manage mishaps like this.

sydlexic Thu 03-Oct-13 17:19:51

This happened to my DS when he was 5 and a class was cancelled he was very distressed. I never trusted them again. I would always go and meet him and see that he went to the club. That wouldn't be too inconvenient for you if you are only over the road.

HavantGuard Thu 03-Oct-13 17:21:42

She was fine until she saw you. She was there for 25 minutes. They knew you'd be there at 4pm. They tried to contact you.

She was upset that you forgot her not at sitting on a bench.

SaucyJack Thu 03-Oct-13 17:24:48

It's not acceptable. You could've been dead in a ditch and not coming to pick her up at all for all they knew.

BrokenSunglasses Thu 03-Oct-13 17:24:50

But it's your mistake that caused her to be left alone, you can't blame the school.

You don't know that no one saw her for 25 minutes, there may have been someone checking sticking a head round to see her every five minutes.

Automatic doors in a school doesn't seem very safe, but they must have procedures. If the teacher was having a meeting with another parent or a professional, she simply could not have supervised your child directly.

Four is very young, that's why it's better for new reception children not to do these clubs. I wish my school would stop allowing reception children to join the clubs that cater for the whole of the rest of the school. They quite often don't want to go, or can't get themselves changed alone for the sports ones. It seems pointless. They have done enough in the day, they don't need to do clubs as well.

Floggingmolly Thu 03-Oct-13 17:27:44

They weren't aware you thought she was at Art club, were they? As far as they knew, you were just late and could have walked through the door at any minute.
Maybe they have a standard time they allow before contacting latecomers in case you're in the car or something?

PractialJoke Thu 03-Oct-13 17:27:49

I am almost certain they will have explained to her mummy will be here soon to collect db.

She wasn't upset because she was confused or frightened but because you were late, which was unfortunate but not the end of the world.

How do you know she'd been alone for full 25 mins.?For the first 15 after school there will likely have been loads of people coming and going

AmandaPayneVersusThePainballer Thu 03-Oct-13 17:28:06

No four year old should be left in an unsecured area without supervision. It is one thing not being entertained, but she wasn't safe. She could have wandered off. Our god forbid someone else could have wandered in and told her mummy had sent them.

It would be slightly different if she was behind the security area sitting waiting. They still should have rung you, but it wouldn't be a safe-guarding issue in quite the same way.

In our school no child would be left alone in that way. Numbers are tried. If no answer they wait with a teacher or someone (maybe not their own teacher) and, as a last resort, there would be a call to social services.

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:28:06

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MrsDeVere Thu 03-Oct-13 17:28:27

She is only four poor thing.

I cannot understand why the didn't phone you.

If a child is not picked up protocol is to phone SS if parents are not contactable.

I think they managed it very poorly.

pixiepotter Thu 03-Oct-13 17:29:28

YABU and precious.You expect there to be a member of staff with nothing better to do than entertain your DD for 25 minutes.They have work to gt on with!!presumably the door has a security lockon it, presumably the secretary was in and out of the office. Presumably your DD told them you thought it was art club and therefore would be along in 20 minutes.
Your dd was not crying until you came along a nd the senco must have been in earshot to come out when she did.You screwed up,and are just looking for someone else to blame.

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:29:46

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D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:30:22

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HavantGuard Thu 03-Oct-13 17:30:47

They did phone the OP and couldn't get through. The OP's DS finished at 4pm, so they were probably waiting until then.

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:31:25

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D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:32:12

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ZiaMaria Thu 03-Oct-13 17:32:31

She should not have been left alone in a corridor from which she could easily walk out of the school and disappear. OP made an error, yes - it happens - but the school should have had her sitting in a classroom with a teacher, or in the head's office, or with the secretaries so that a responsible adult actually knew where she was at all times.

ZiaMaria Thu 03-Oct-13 17:34:26

It has come to my attention (from reading mumsnet) that schools and nurseries hardly ever call dads. My DD's nursery will ring my mobile five times to try and tell me DD had bumped her head (it was off - I was in a client meeting) but won't even try DH.

HavantGuard Thu 03-Oct-13 17:35:14

When she has a sibling due to be picked up 25 minutes later and couldn't get through to the parent that does pick ups, I don't think it's unreasonable to wait until the second child finishes. I think a lot of your anger is misdirected. You fucked up. She got hysterical. That's down to you not them.

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