...to be counting down the hours until MIL goes home tomorrow?!

(21 Posts)
itsn0tmeitsyou Tue 01-Oct-13 20:42:48

YANBU but spare a thought for those of us who not only have to have the MIL to stay for far longer than is necessary (and NOT for childcare reasons, just cos the silly cow wants to come and DH doesn't want to upset her) AND she's a fucking bitch ALL the time, not in subtle and slightly irritating ways but right in your face, and doesn't EVER leave the room to give you a moment's peace.

I wish to god I had a MIL I could just 'put up with'. I cannot describe how horrible mine is to me. She has called me a gold-digger to my face (my DH is a middle manager and we have a modest life. My parents are millionaires. It's unbelievable) and has told my DH she thinks he could do better.

Not trying to outdo you, just try to remember, if it's not unbearable, it's probably not that bad.

tulipsgirl77 Tue 01-Oct-13 20:34:27

Fair enough nanyogg and Annakin I take what you are saying, and you're entitled to your opinion, as am I. I actually know I am being hurtful and unreasonable, I just needed to write it alld own. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a MIL that yhey click with, I wish I did.

Annakin31 Tue 01-Oct-13 02:59:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raisah Tue 01-Oct-13 01:18:16

Dont be too harsh on her, you maybe a mil oneday! Not long till departure time so have a cup of tea, breathe and relax and don't forget about karma!

NoComet Tue 01-Oct-13 00:10:44

My D late MIL was welcome to stay.

But much as I love them my parents are welcome in short dose only.

Nanny0gg Mon 30-Sep-13 23:58:27

Best you employ someone to look after your DD then.

She'd be extremely hurt if she knew you were writing this and I think this (and similar threads) are very unkind.

My mil used to stay for a similar amount of time. It became too much (for me) and now she just visits for the day ( or we visit her)
It's enough for me.
The overnights and extended breaks (which she invited herself) became too much for me and in turn too much for mine and dh's relationship to cope with.
As for Christmas, you need to lay your cards on the table with dh. If he has siblings this should be a little easier.

SecretLimonadeDrinker Mon 30-Sep-13 22:39:00

Glad it's not just me who feels like this!

HeffalumpTheFlump Mon 30-Sep-13 22:33:36

I don't like having anyone to stay end of story. I'm antisocial. That would be my idea of hell. Yanbu! Glad its nearly over for you.

woowa Mon 30-Sep-13 21:53:18

true, and I don't like stereotypes, but they are a stereotype for a reason! I don't mean that everybody falls out with their MILs, I just mean, it can be a difficult thing to negotiate, work on, develop through different stages (children coming along has made it more difficult for us, so some reason). Just like you have to work on a marriage relationship, and even a parent-child relationship, the in-law needs work. I guess it's because you are automatically related to people through your marriage that you wouldn't normally ever choose to share time with.

sweetestcup Mon 30-Sep-13 21:20:26

however nice and helpful MILs are, they are still MILs and thus a difficult relationship

Stereotype much eh hmm MIL and "difficult relationship" dont always go hand in hand.

OP YANBU, like others it wouldn't matter who it is after a few days I would find it difficult.

tulipsgirl77 Mon 30-Sep-13 21:20:11

Woowa , that made me laugh because I spend a lot of time making big screamy faces behind doors!! Thanks everyone, I thought I might get flamed, good to know it's not just me. Genuinely, thank you everyone.

woowa Mon 30-Sep-13 21:17:01

YANBU, however nice and helpful MILs are, they are still MILs and thus a difficult relationship. Not much we can do about it though except stay quiet and make big screamy faces when they can't see us!

elcranko Mon 30-Sep-13 21:07:39

YANBU. It would drive me crazy having anyone to stay for that length of time, no matter who it is!

tulipsgirl77 Mon 30-Sep-13 21:06:38

I know I feel super guilty as she is great with DD but she willingly stays longer than I need her and just seems to take over the house. I should add quite often she just invites herself to stay which also makes me cross.

DH is so laid back and unbothered by the whole thing he'd never contact his siblings to discuss xmas. I might chat to his sister though...maybe drop hints....

JRmumma Mon 30-Sep-13 21:03:42

I can sympathise on the MIL martyr thing, mine is the same. I couldn't, under any circumstances, have my MIL to stay for more than 1 night.

Amy106 Mon 30-Sep-13 21:02:33

Not unreasonable at all. That's a long enough visit for all concerned. Time to say good bye and get back to normal.

Aniseeda Mon 30-Sep-13 21:00:28

YANBU. Well maybe just a little as she's been helping you out with childcare. However, I struggle to have anyone (be it my MIL, Mum, sister, best friend or anyone else in the universe!) to stay for more than a night or two so I can certainly relate to your countdown!

Can your DH contact his siblings and tell them to decide among themselves whose turn it is to invite her for Christmas this year?

tulipsgirl77 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:58:32

Exactly BlackeyedSusan. I've said that to my DH before that I adore my mother but I couldn't have her to stay either for nearly a week.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 30-Sep-13 20:53:43

having aanyone to stay for so long would drive me crazy, and yes that does include my mother.

tulipsgirl77 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:36:07

Title says it all really. My MIL has been here since Wednesday evening, it's now Monday evening. She's been looking after DD as my mum usually cares for her on my working days. So yes she's helped me out, but she drives me blooming CRAZY. We are v different. She is houseproud (i am not)she has to know everything that is going on in your life and she talks endlessly about people I don't know!! She also plays the martyr a lot and constantly makes suggestions followed by "but it's up to you", which makes me just want to scream back "yes it bloody is as it's our house"!! My DH adores her and is v protective of her which makes it hard as I feel I have to bite my tongue alot.

I feel really mean for even writing this but she just makes me feel bonkers. She's also started hinting about Christmas. She's spent the last four with us even though DH has 3 siblings. I think the thought of another Christmas with her would just finish me off!!

Please tell me I am being unreasonable and I just need to continue to "manage" her!!

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