not to help with pre-school outings?

(25 Posts)
Turniptwirl Mon 30-Sep-13 21:52:30

Outside our usual meeting place but I would ever dream of asking someone that pregnant!

I would ask all the parents who looked capable not just sahm (although we meet after school so s bit different).

Turniptwirl Mon 30-Sep-13 21:51:11

I was on the fence til you said you're heavily pregnant. I volunteer for a kids organisation and yes we need volunteer parents when we go outside our usual
Meeting

CaptainSweatPants Mon 30-Sep-13 20:54:10

They do sound a nice preschool but you're perfectly reasonable to say no on the grounds of being pregnant

Nanny0gg Mon 30-Sep-13 20:53:43

My DGC went to an excellent nursery attached to the local primary for two years.

I don't think they ever went on an outing except for a couple of walks up the village.

Your pre-school sounds a bit over-ambitious. Do they not have any outside space?

fuckwittery Mon 30-Sep-13 20:50:32

I love the preschool, but dont think so many outings are necessary and certainly didnt know there would be so many requests for help when I enrolled my DD. Food for thought when I don't have a good excuse not to go.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 30-Sep-13 20:48:32

YANBU as you are heavily pregnant and you need your rest and down time.

However, those saying that pre school is childcare are very wrong indeed. You may personally see it as childcare but its where education starts. Plenty dc go to pre school only, having never had child care.
Small settings rely on parents to volunteer to take dc on outings and if yours is such a place you should take your turn. If you are unable to, find a pre school that doesn't need volunteers.

theoriginalandbestrookie Mon 30-Sep-13 20:48:24

YANBU - DS spent a year in preschool in the state sector then moved to his independant for his second nursery year. In both cases there were very few events that required parental support. I helped with an outing to Tesco and was very happy to do so - as it was the only time that term that they needed anyone , and in fact because there were so few requests for parents time, they had plenty of volunteers.

Don't feel guilty or feel that you have to justify your time OP. If they need parents for all of these outings, then either children don't get to go, or they reduce numbers so it can be supported with the staff they have.

Squitten Mon 30-Sep-13 20:43:23

I'm 35wks pregnant and wouldn't be going - I can barely get my butt off the sofa to take the kids to school in the first place!

DS1 has just started in Reception and they want volunteers for all sorts but I'm staying well clear - I think I'll have enough on my plate as it is.

cartoad Mon 30-Sep-13 20:42:36

If you're having a chiropractor appointment I would bet they would say to rest afterwards and not go for a walk, especially if you're pregnant! Have always been told this after chiropractor, osteopath and physio appointments. They might have given me gentle exercises to do - but that wasn't for immediately after the appointment and certainly not for chasing after a load of pre-schoolers! It's not likely to be the most gentle of walks or one that's at a pace dictated by you; if one of the kids in your group bolts then you might be the only one close enough to run after them and end up getting yourself and your bump hurt in the process.

I'd just tell them it's physically impossible for you to do it at the moment. And that they put you on the spot when they asked so you didn't have a chance to think it through clearly, but now that you've had a chance to and you realise that you're supposed to rest after your appointment, well they wouldn't want you to do any harm to you or your baby would they throw the guilt trip back on them! and so you're not able to do the walk. Sorry but you're sure they understand.

None of the other parents are hardly going to complain if you pull out - it's not like they're taking part!

Enjoy whatever moments you can of snatched me time to relax and do things you want to do before your baby comes along!!

pigletmania Mon 30-Sep-13 20:40:13

Yanbu you should not be asked being 36 weeks pregnant. It was very short notice, and beng asked 3 times in 4 weeks shock. Just say no your busy, a way with a baby you won't be able to

fuckwittery Mon 30-Sep-13 20:12:03

she did say they wouldn't normally ask me being pregnant and all, but if they don't get another parent the walk can't happen....

fuckwittery Mon 30-Sep-13 20:10:18

Oh thank goodness for the YANBU replies! I was starting to get hormonal and teary about telling them tomorrow I don't want to do it.
Just thinking about it, tomorrow school run, then walk to toddler group for 9.30am - 11.30am, walk up to pre-school for drop off at 12pm, then straight to chiropractor appt, then dash up to pre-school for the 1.5 hours walk, finish that at 3pm, 3.15pm pick up DD1, 3.30pm pick up DD2, DD1 has one activity 4-5pm, and DD2 has another 3.55 - 4.30pm in a different location, so I rush around dropping off and picking up and get in after 5pm to have a beans on toast type tea. DH won't be home until after well after bedtime. I am tired just typing that out.

I'd like to use the 1.5 hours free in the day to have a little nap after chiropractor to get dinner/washload done etc, still have loads of shopping for my hosp bag etc.

Will say I am really sorry, feeling too pregnant and too busy a day to go out on a walk, esp as my appt may overrun anyway if she's running late.
Thanks for the cake thebody much appreciated. smile

Nanny0gg Mon 30-Sep-13 20:01:20

I would have thought there were H&S issues with you being 36 weeks pregnant.

A definite No!

NoSquirrels Mon 30-Sep-13 19:59:11

36 weeks pregnant! THEY are being Very Unreasonable. Say no with absolutely no guilt.

Akray Mon 30-Sep-13 19:55:22

YANBU! My DD does a forest walk every Thursday and they always ask for volunteers ~ cos I am a SAHM they always seem to assume I will oblige ~ well, I hate the forest walk in the rain and cold sad so now I just keep DD off on Thursdays and we do something else.

The nursery ABU even asking you when pregnant IMO. Say no and don't feel bad about it, take care of yourself and enjoy some 'you' time before your little one arrives........

YANBU! It's volunteering not mandatory

thebody Mon 30-Sep-13 19:45:50

er resting is worthwhile op. especially while pregnant. here have some cake

parakeet Mon 30-Sep-13 19:44:51

YABU because you should just have said NO.

thebody Mon 30-Sep-13 19:44:22

you are 36 weeks pregnant so shouldn't be asked at all.

they must be daft. definatly say no and if you feel bad ( you shouldn't) day it's on medical advice. that will shut them up.

ye Gods. bloody cheek,

PoppyWearer Mon 30-Sep-13 19:42:44

The why-are-your-DCs-in-nursery-when-you're-a-SAHM thing....ignore. Lots of people do it. You don't need to justify yourself.

You're 36 weeks pregnant, FFS! No, don't go on the outing. Put your feet up, woman! (That's an order! grin).

FWIW my DCs went to/go to a very naice private nursery (even though I'm a SAHM) and had not one single outing. I don't think their educations have suffered for it.

superzero Mon 30-Sep-13 19:41:48

YANBU.You are 36 weeks pregnant!Pre-school never asked me to help when I was pregnant.
I would have happily helped if not pregnant but at this stage would have been too tired.

fuckwittery Mon 30-Sep-13 19:37:47

I'm not paying, as my daughter gets 15 hours a week free (she is 3.5) and she absolutely loves it, it is preparing her for full time school next September.
So whilst it;s not that I don't want to be with my kids, but that I am otherwise with them full time as a SAHM (admittedly I was working full time until quite recently), and I really love the break I get! I was planning when I gave up work at Easter to use these 15 hours to set up my own business, but unplanned pregnancy instead. So whilst I'm not working or really doing anything very worthwhile with my time, I am organising things for the baby and just generally resting up before I have 3 small DC with very little support in a few weeks time. I actually think I'll be shattered after a 1.5 walk with small ones, Tuesday is a v busy day anyway where we do toddler group in the morning then 2 separate after school activities.

cherrytomato40 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:33:05

That's a lot of outings! I'm all for volunteering at school and preschool, and have done my fair share, but mine only went on outings maybe once or twice a term.

I would go this once then at least you will have done a turn and can turn down any more requests guilt-free!

Daughteroflilith Mon 30-Sep-13 19:31:30

YANBU. You are paying for a service. That service is childcare, freeing you up for other things. A lot of the others who use this service will be working full time, and not able to attend these events. Presumably you have reasons for using this service, other than not wanting to be with your kids? grin
If you really could afford to spend the time with yourkids, without sacrificing other parts of your life, you wouldn't be paying them. You may as well just economise and spend time with YOUR kids. It's not like you're sitting there with a glass of wine watching Loose Women!

fuckwittery Mon 30-Sep-13 19:04:23

Today is the third time I have been asked to help out with a pre-school outing, since my DD2 started four weeks ago. They need so many parents to volunteer so that they have enough people to take the children out. Tomorrow is an autumn walk. I genuinely couldn't help on the previous outings.
Today I was caught off guard, they are going 1.30-3pm and I have an appointment that finishes at 1.15 so I could rush up there if it doesn't overrun, but I said don't rely on me as I might not get there in time. However no-one else has volunteered yet, and she said they could wait for me before they leave. I've come home and thought actually, this is some very precious time I get to myself and I really don't want to help and don't see why I should have to make excuses. I don't mind if DD2 doesn't get to go on the outing, I take her on plenty of walks, although obviously if they don't get enough helpers none of the children will be able to go.

Am 36 weeks pregnant, we have no family help nearby DH works shitty shifts and most weekends, and my first two didn't sleep through til well over a year so I REALLY don't want to give up ANY of these precious last few weeks of 15 hours a week of child free time! And after the baby comes I will definitely want to use that time to nap if the baby is napping, not going for pre-school walks. AIBU to say, actually, sorry, I don't want to, too tired and pregnant (and probably too sleep deprived if I get asked to do more help outs when baby is here).

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