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AIBU?

to think younger siblings should be taken out if they are too loud?

47 replies

FriendlyLadybird · 27/09/2013 16:42

Went to DD's (Y1) 'sharing assembly' today. The back row was entirely filled by mothers with younger children and babies. These children proceeded to make the most tremendous racket throughout the assembly, to the extent that I actually couldn't hear anything of what was going on. DH went last week and had the same experience.

Now, I know that the mothers want to be there to support their school age children, and it's nice for the younger siblings to be there, and in any case there may be no alternative care in place ... BUT could the mothers not have taken the children outside when they got too noisy? We used to take DD to her brother's events. Mostly she was pretty quiet but, when she wasn't, we took her outside. Yes, I did miss quite a lot of half assemblies and plays, but DS knew that I had been there, understood about his sister, and really didn't mind. It was the fact that we had turned up at all that was important to him.

Am I being an old grouch?

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CoffeeTea103 · 27/09/2013 16:44

Yanbu, they definitely should take the children. It's rude, selfish and distracting to everyone else.

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gintastic · 27/09/2013 16:46

Our PTA run a crèche at these kind if things, could you suggest something like that?

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cfc · 27/09/2013 16:48

Did anyone else read the title and think "take them out" - Arnie-style? Harsh, OP...!! Grin

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FriendlyLadybird · 27/09/2013 16:54

cfc - ha ha ha! I think that was my subconsciousness typing.

I like the idea of a creche. Might suggest it. Thanks.

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5Foot5 · 27/09/2013 16:56

YANBU.

But usually when these sort of threads come up (there will be a lot more as Christmas approaches and people go to Nativities and concerts) you get a fair few people who will come on saying things like "Get over yourself, it's not the Albert Hall".

But I agree with you. The children doing the assembly are only little themselves and its not fair that their big moment should be spoiled by all the noise from noisy toddlers.

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Minnieisthedevilmouse · 27/09/2013 16:59

I think this classifies you as an old grouch. Bet they weren't that bad your just being mean.

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SirChenjin · 27/09/2013 17:00

I agree with you OP - but having posted on similar threads before and told to get a grip/life it would appear that not everyone feels the same. In fact, it's actually a right for some children to spoil school Nativities, shows etc.

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TheBuskersDog · 27/09/2013 17:04

I'm not sure most schools would run a creche for a weekly sharing assembly but most do at things like Christmas performances etc. Our school does this but very few parents use it.

I have to say both as a member of school staff and as a parent it has always totally pissed me off when parents don't remove young children as soon as they start being noisy. In the case of shows, the children and staff have spent weeks preparing for them and then some selfish parents allow their young children to spoil it for the performers and the audience. Our head always asks before the start that they are taken out if necessary and reminds the parents about the creche, but some people don't think it applies to them.

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Spinkle · 27/09/2013 17:05

Some little delight sat next to me in a sharing assembly carefully emptied a packet of crisps over my (brand new) coat, really worked them in and wiped his hands on it.

It's mother watched the proceedings.

All children should be banned from sitting next to me.

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DameDeepRedBetty · 27/09/2013 17:08

We had an informal creche for Friday assemblies, the parents with littlies in tow took it in turns to be the one sitting out and keeping an eye. It worked.

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Hassled · 27/09/2013 17:09

I absolutely agree with you - this drives me insane. I had one choir thing where a small child asked loud piercing questions throughout and the bloody parents answered him. I was incensed.

I've missed chunks of enough concerts etc because I couldn't trust a younger sibling to be quiet - those are the breaks when you have more than one child. And eventually you'll be at the concert of your youngest child and you can watch the whole thing in piece. Until then, be considerate.

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Floggingmolly · 27/09/2013 17:09

Of course they should. Our school even makes a point of formally announcing this before assemblies - and some ignorant gits who assume they inhabit the planet by themselves still don't do it Angry
They get frogmarched out by the Head, fair play to her, but usually manage to ruin it for a lot of people first.

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LegoStillSavesMyLife · 27/09/2013 17:10

I agree. Though in my DCs school the headmistress will stop assembly and ask for the noisy child to be removed (and the parents have to do the walk of shame).

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RaspberryRuffle · 27/09/2013 17:43

Totally agree OP. Love it that some heads even tell the offenders to go out (would be rubbish if you missed your own DC's 'moment' though so I have a little sympathy, but only a little, as many other could be missing their DCs moments with all the noise going on).

Maybe the parents who answer all the questions could be taken out Wink

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MistressDeeCee · 27/09/2013 17:50

I struggle with this kind of topic, as Im well able to screen out baby noise..it doesnt bother me too much for some reason. But during school assemblies/plays I do agree they should be taken out - for the sake of the children performing. Its hard enough for them to perform to an audience without being distracted and made more nervous by noise. Ive seen some struggling to be heard and inside, I always feel sorry for them. Taking noisy babies out for a bit isnt going to kill the parents, is it? I dont know why they dont just use logic in these scenarios but yes, Im sure its a subject over which some parents will get very precious..they obviously couldnt care less about the children on stage whove been practising for ages even though it is, after all, about their performance and a little chance to shine; they wont budge an inch.

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Rachel778 · 27/09/2013 17:51

When my DD was in primary they had an assembly which I attended .. Their teacher was a straight talking Scouser I liked his tell it as it is attitude personally. . A baby was crying non stop on a Mums lap and he said "Could you please take the child out of here, my class have rehearsed this for weeks and they are getting upset parents cannot hear" .. She was gobsmacked but a few parents applauded him. She did go outside and came back in with a calmer baby (turns out the baby needed a nappy change)

I do not think YABU.

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Rachel778 · 27/09/2013 17:51

Sorry , I do not know why that came out bold , ,it wasn't supposed to.

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PeppiNephrine · 27/09/2013 17:53

So its EVERY week? not a once a year nativity special or anything then. All seems a bit precious. Do your children need weekly silent adoration by crowds of adults?

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BackforGood · 27/09/2013 17:56

YANBU - of course they should, but some people have no manners and no consideration for other people. It's such a shame for the children performing (or sharing!) when they can't be heard. Why not help each other out and take turns to look after the littlies when your friends go to assemblies etc. ?

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froken · 27/09/2013 18:02

Some noise is quite sudden, I took my 7 month old ds to see my little sister's year 6 school play, he was constipated and decided tge touching scene about evacuees was the time to do his ling awaited poo. He went HUUUGGGGMMMMMMMMMMHHHH UUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHG. It was very distracting and embarrassing, I took him outvvery quickly but I feel it may have ruined the moment a little. D-sis was very proud and the teachers let her bring him back after to meet all the class ( the poo noises were forgiven!)

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JamieandtheMagicTorch · 27/09/2013 18:05

YANBU

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JamieandtheMagicTorch · 27/09/2013 18:05

But also, Blimey, an assembly every week ?

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freddiefrog · 27/09/2013 18:05

No, you're not being unreasonable.

We do a creche ran by a rota of PTA mums, our head reminds parents that noisy children should be removed as it distracts the performers and it's disrespectful to the children and staff who have worked hard to put the show on.

On the whole, most people are pretty good about it, although a couple of times she's directly approached parents with noisy siblings and told them to either use the creche or leave until they quieten down.

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Justforlaughs · 27/09/2013 18:07

It should be easy enough to organise a rota of parents to run a creche, and most schools will probably have the technology to show a video link in the room for those helpers. Forget the headteacher frog-marching them out, I'll do it myself!

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/09/2013 18:12

I think YABU really. If there were a whole row of mums with toddlers they couldn't reasonably have got out without causing even more disruption. If you're not on the end of the row you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I always try to sit on the end so I can get out if DS a pest but not possible if there are lots of others in the same position.

For Xmas production our school allow toddlers to attend the dress rehearsal and then keep the actual performance for adults only. This is quite a good idea I think.

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