AIBU to be suspicious about late night phone call?

(57 Posts)
AlisonBurgers Fri 27-Sep-13 00:45:02

I can't work out if I am being a paranoid idiot so need some opinions on what you would think/do if you were in my shoes...

After a argument via phone in which my boyfriend (of 8 years) said some hurtful things to me, he came over to apologise and stay the night. We were lying in bed when at 10pm his mobile started to ring. He practically leapt out of bed to turn it off. I asked him why he didn't answer it and he claimed he is constantly getting unsolicited calls from salespeople and the like. I'd seen the number on the screen and it was a mobile number i.e. no name attached to it.

I've got a niggling doubt about this as:
1) He has kids and therefore never turns his phone off in case of some child-related emergency. In which case surely you'd answer an unexpected call?
2) Do people really get calls like that so late in the evening? He showed me some PPI related text to prove his point - well yes I get texts like that but not late night phone calls so I didn't see how that helped explain things.
3) He cheated on me in the early days of our relationship - I forgave him because we were going through a rocky patch, and I'm a bloody doormat

I wish I could talk it through with a friend but don't really want to sour their opinions of him if it's just a daft paranoia trip sad

captainmummy Fri 27-Sep-13 18:26:09

Sounds like evasion to me. sad

MissStrawberry Fri 27-Sep-13 18:32:46

If he cared he would indulge your need for reassurance. Why isn't he?

MammaTJ Fri 27-Sep-13 19:09:23

We could have predicted his reaction to your request!

Calloh Fri 27-Sep-13 19:25:28

It does sound a bit dodgy - and well done you for getting the bull by the horns. It is still possibly true what he is saying. Doubtful but possible.

If it were me and I didn't have the log-in and was tired I might be a bit like "Does it have to be tonight" however I think I would be so upset that my boyfriend was worried that I'd cheated i would immediately want to show him that it wasn't the case and reassure him etcetera. But the most positive reading on his "not missing you" comment is that he is insecure in your relationship and trying to hurt you to get you to prove your affection for him. If this were the case he may enjoy the anxiety this is causing you.

I think you are totally right to firmly insist he shows you the records tonight and sort it.

Calloh Fri 27-Sep-13 19:27:24

And if he is fucking with you that is also pretty really.

Actually forget that - however manipulative he is he can't manufacture a dodgy call.

I hope you get things sorted. thanks

AlfalfaMum Sat 28-Sep-13 00:17:21

So first what you ask is 'understandable'.
Then all of a sudden it's 'disappointing'. hmm

I reckon he's the one doing all the disappointing. Bet you can do better.

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