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AIBU?

To not know whether I find this just plain vile or a better alternative....

51 replies

BigFatLeaf · 23/09/2013 09:54

Sensitive content warning.

I do a lot of volunteer work, mostly with drug addicts who are predominantly young, homeless women involved in prostitution. In one of my counselling sessions the other day one of the girls (aged 21) confessed to me that a lot of the girls who she works with, including herself often lie about their age to "clients" and say they are 14 it 15 because they get more money. I was really, really shocked by this as whilst I know there is a demand for that kind of revolting thing I didn't realise it was prevalent enough to warrant its own warped form of special marketing!

She also told me that they often put on an act of being very naive, scared, afraid and that they've been forced into it, because apparently this is what the clients want. The "pimps" apparently often actively encourage this and the girls are told to "look young" so they get away with it.

What sickens me is that surely it is not a criminal offence to have sex with someone who is over 18 even if you think they are younger?

OP posts:

Report

JCDenton · 23/09/2013 10:00

It must be a crime to look for underage girls in this way even if the woman is an adult. Conspiracy to have sex with a minor is certainly a thing so I can't imagine that this is far different.

Hopefully someone who knows law can help with this, OP.

dysfunctionallynormal · 23/09/2013 19:21

Unfortunately the kind of men who kerb crawl generally have these predilections. It's seen as a good marketing strategy by the pimps and prostitutes.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 23/09/2013 19:26

Oh, stuff like this really turns my stomach. It's disgusting, some of the stuff in you OP has actually made me feel sick.

The men are breaking the law anyway by having sex with these girls or money.

Isildur · 23/09/2013 19:27

I think you are probably pretty naive if this is something you were genuinely unaware of.

I'd have thought that a decent proportion of men paying for sex are looking for 'younger girls'.

Maybe it's just that I'm old enough to remember the phone boxes full of prostitutes cards advertising their specialisms.

Sparklymommy · 23/09/2013 19:41

This is (sadly) not news to me. It's quite well known that girls pretend to be younger than they actually are because that is what men who are paying for it are looking for.

I worry that if this is a shock to you then you may be in the wrong job. You need to be almost unshockable.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 23/09/2013 19:44

I think you are probably pretty naive if this is something you were genuinely unaware of

I must be naive, it's really not something I would want to know too much about either.

mysteryfairy · 23/09/2013 19:46

I don't think prostitution or paying for sex is illegal in the uk as stated by PrincessFlirtyPants though both soliciting in public and kerb crawling supposedly are. I hope a lot of these clients know it is a fantasy and fulfil it in a way which whilst pretty grim means children are actually kept safe from harm. I think you have to hope this as no other explanation is really bearable.

MyChildhoodInACottage · 23/09/2013 19:47

It makes complete sense, it means the clients are a lot nicer usually as they feel sorry for you and protective. Much more effective than acting like a hard faced seen-it-all-before woman.

MyChildhoodInACottage · 23/09/2013 19:47

paying for sex is illegal

Catsize · 23/09/2013 19:50

Interesting. Not sure that it could even be an 'attempt' offence, as you cannot attempt the impossible (ie girl is actually over 16). Grim stuff though. Will have a think about it.

TallulahBetty · 23/09/2013 19:50

Paying for sex is NOT illegal. Look it up. It's the stuff that goes with it (soliciting, kerb crawling, running a brothel) that is illegal.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 23/09/2013 19:51

No, I believe I was wrong and mysteryfairy is right. I thinki do recall a programme about this last year...

www.theguardian.com/uk/2008/feb/22/suffolkmurders.ukcrime5

MyChildhoodInACottage · 23/09/2013 19:52

Tallulah, paying for sex is, that's why escort agencies say the girls are being paid for their time only :) unless it has very recently changed

PrincessFlirtyPants · 23/09/2013 19:53

It would be the escort agency in that example who were breaking the law though.

TallulahBetty · 23/09/2013 19:55

Paying for, or selling, sex is legal. Everything else isn't.

GatoradeMeBitch · 23/09/2013 19:58

Back in the days when I used to watch porn with my BF there would be absolute delight in the comment sections when viewers suspected that an underaged girl had slipped past the censors.

A man I knew once tried to explain why in his opinion men are 'naturally' attracted to underage girls, you can probably guess.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 23/09/2013 20:01

No, again I must be being naive, but why would a man be 'naturally' attracted to underage girls?!

WMittens · 23/09/2013 20:21

A man I knew once tried to explain why in his opinion men are 'naturally' attracted to underage girls

I can't even begin to imagine.

MyChildhoodInACottage, what TallulahBetty posted is correct.

GatoradeMeBitch · 23/09/2013 20:22

His rationale was that women want partners with large genitals, men want partners with small tight genitals - and whose are smallest and tightest?.. It's gross.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 23/09/2013 20:35

Oh FFS. That is absolutely repulsive. I'm sorry, but that wouldn't have even entered my mind! Who are the fuck are these men?!

WMittens · 23/09/2013 20:38

Not just gross but also complete bullshit.

FreudiansSlipper · 23/09/2013 20:41

I am surprised you are shocked about this given that you know they work in the sex industry. saying that it has bought up something for you do you not have supervision or counselling yourself?

littlewhitebag · 23/09/2013 20:45

Of course it happens and of course it is not bullshit. Are you all blind to the recurring news articles about men being prosecuted for actually seeking out, and having sex with, young girls. The prostitutes have worked out how to attract these men. It is win-win. The prostitute gets a client who will pay for this and the man gets the 'experience' of sex with a young girl. I suspect that most of these men are aware the prostitutes are not actually young girls but are happy with the pretence.

Smoorikins · 23/09/2013 20:47

Paying for sex isn't illegal in the UK unless the laws have changed recently (last six years or so) Men can be done for kerb crawling only, unless the prostitute is underage or trafficked, IIRC.

PrincessFlirtyPants · 23/09/2013 20:48

The prostitute gets a client who will pay for this and the man gets the 'experience' of sex with a young girl. I suspect that most of these men are aware the prostitutes are not actually young girls but are happy with the pretence

But is this enough? Won't they move onto the 'real thing' after practising with these girls?

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