To not want 3 year olds encouraged to have 'girlfriends' etc.

(74 Posts)
theresmoretolife Fri 20-Sep-13 13:12:32

My DS is at preschool, and one mum is particular keeps saying my DS is her daughters boyfriend. She's always asking her daughter who her boyfriend is, and who she's going to marry. They're 3! AIBU to find this immensely irritating or should I just accept that she means no harm by it and relax a bit!

Sirzy Fri 20-Sep-13 13:13:14

Can't say it's something that would bother me

BrianTheMole Fri 20-Sep-13 13:14:29

It wouldn't bother me.

DontPanicMrMannering Fri 20-Sep-13 13:35:10

People do it to DD I hate it, but I know that its fairly normal just rubs me the wrong way so yanbu

Ugh, I hate this. I know it's harmless, but it's inappropriate and silly to go on about 'boyfriends and girlfriends' at this age.

TeenAndTween Fri 20-Sep-13 13:36:43

Would drive me crazy if said in front of / asked of my child. YANBU.

LuisSuarezTeeth Fri 20-Sep-13 13:38:06

Lighten up, it's just a bit of fun.

Lottapianos Fri 20-Sep-13 13:39:13

Would drive me nuts. It's really inappropriate - they are 3, let them be friends for jeff sake! Makes the adult sound really immature too.

Goldenbear Fri 20-Sep-13 13:39:40

YANBU, it is a bit Pageant tots, I.e distasteful!

DS is five and has decided who is going to marry. It's only a bit of fun I think and certainly wasn't prompted by us. I don't go on about it to him though. I'd rather he was thinking about what Lego he wants to play with!

kim147 Fri 20-Sep-13 13:40:42

Her DD might want a girlfriend in the future. Just promoting the heterosexual normality and expectations in her statement grin

Thepowerof3 Fri 20-Sep-13 13:41:56

People say things like that all the time, I would only let it bother me unless they try and force them down the aisle

TheBigJessie Fri 20-Sep-13 13:43:23

Hate it. It's pushing adult relationships on to children.

It's also horribly heterocentric. Statistically, ten per cent of male three-year-olds and five per cent of female three-year-olds in any nursery will grow up to be gay.

BuskersCat Fri 20-Sep-13 13:45:38

DD told me that X was her boyfriend. I was shock and asked her what she meant. She said 'X is a boy, and my friend' like I was some sort of moron grin

WaspInTheHouse Fri 20-Sep-13 13:48:52

I hate that stuff.

As other people have said it's heterocentric and also suggests having a relationship is vitally important.

It's also teaching small children that boys and girls can't just be friends. It's othering.

GladbagsGold Fri 20-Sep-13 13:53:26

I hate it. DD is almost 7 and has lots of boy friends as well as girl friends. I HATE the 'look x here is your future wife' comments. I normally say that she is too busy being young to think about whether she wants to marry a boy, a girl or not at all.

DuelingFanjo Fri 20-Sep-13 13:53:46

yes - it bothers me greatly. when people make comments about my son having a girlfriend I always interject with 'or boyfriend' as we obviously can't know yet who he is going to be attracted to.

It may just seem like a bit of fun but it's the beginning of the rampant sexualisation of my child - next it's going to be him coming home from school telling me he can't play with girls or that he can't wear pink.

it makes me feel really Angry.
YANBU

bashifuku Fri 20-Sep-13 13:57:10

Very silly. Just let them play with their toys FFS.

raisah Fri 20-Sep-13 13:57:43

Yuk! Why not let kids be kids & leave all that relationship stuff until they grow up. They have the rest of the lives for all that stuff.

droppedscones Fri 20-Sep-13 14:03:17

YANBU. So grim, cringy and inappropriate. Bothers me on every level described above as it is not, actually, 'a bit of fun'.

VinegarDrinker Fri 20-Sep-13 14:06:39

YANBU. Inappropriate and heteronormative.

I remember being really really embarrassed by this when I was a little older. At 8, wondering if there was something wrong with me because I didn't have a 'boyfriend.

So I take back the 'harmless'.

Thepowerof3 Fri 20-Sep-13 14:08:24

My DDs want to marry their brother, should I be worried

geekgal Fri 20-Sep-13 14:11:37

I don't like that sort of stuff either, I haven't reached the stage yet where she understands what they're saying but it's already started with my girl. I usually nip it in the bud quickly by saying she'll be like her mum and have have so many boyfriends she'll have to keep a list. Or I say you never know, your boy might be gay. That's usually also a conversation killer! grin

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