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to wonder why gentle parents are often anything but?

(105 Posts)
ohforblardysake Thu 19-Sep-13 18:36:22

I breastfeed, use cloth nappies, co sleep, baby led wean, etc etc. It's what feels right for me but I recognise that everyone does it differently and what works for one doesn't work for everyone.

I joined a few gentle parenting sites on Facebook and have one by one unliked them over the last few months as they are all so horrible! I hoped to see from them just posts and articles about things that interest me in terms of bfing, cosleeping,etc, but instead they are just judgey and horrible.

One recently had a thread absolutely slating women who have pain relief in childbirth. Another full of women going on about how they are having unassisted births and laughing at those who have hospital births as stupid scared,and hoodwinked and not understanding how birth REALLY works. The latest one full of horrible crap about formula feeding, here

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Alpha-Parent/168640486536470

There is nothing gentle about any of them - they are judgey, spiteful and nasty. Feel quite disillusioned!

thebody Thu 19-Sep-13 19:42:22

so do I and dds had Chips for tea. from the chippie !! day off today and mumsnetted most if it so didn't clean or iron.

dd 14 forged my signature on her planner as I forgot to sign it last night. resourceful girl!!

just had a glass on a Thursday night and couldn't give a crap.

RoonilWazlibWuvsHermyown Thu 19-Sep-13 19:44:22

I think there's quite a few women out there who need the reassurance of other nasty twats to feel like they are doing a good job. I see it on fb sometimes where they pile on to someone's status trying to "educate" someone who did not even ask for advice. I think its the only way some of them cope in the early days, by trying to make other people feel worse than they do.

Weegiemum Thu 19-Sep-13 20:01:01

Many many years ago ..... (2000) ..... I was in an "attachment parent" email group (do these even exist anymore?).

I was an EBF-er, cloth nappier, co-sleeper etc.

I got thrown off because there was a consensus that by vaccinating I was "violating" my children's integrity.

Fair enough - bye!

GogoGobo Thu 19-Sep-13 20:09:20

Just had a quick skim through.....felt particular warmth and empathy from the mum posting a few mins ago saying if you don't breast feed your baby should be allowed to die as you are too week to perpetuate.

Therealamandaclarke Thu 19-Sep-13 20:17:19

I never cease to be saddened and surprised by the horrible things that women say about each other. And in particular those things that one mother might say about another's parenting.

carovioletfizz Thu 19-Sep-13 20:36:42

Just seen the post about letting your baby die, too, awful.hmm

mrsjay Thu 19-Sep-13 20:40:26

say what you feel nancy66 dont hold back now grin

I dont go on any of these sites but I see some friends sharing stuff and tbh it is really aggressive and nasty and some of the comments about nonbreastfeeding mothers is down right insulting, gentle my arse

Oh my several gods. Just clicked on that FB link and found that three of my friends like the page!

RiotsNotDiets Thu 19-Sep-13 20:53:20

jeez! And we're meant to be a nest of vipers?

Lilacroses Thu 19-Sep-13 20:53:39

That site is so horrible. I was quite interested in it to start with but the tone is bullying and completely judgemental. I don't blame you at all for feeling like that.

Mothering is a marathon not a sprint. The aim is independence and being part of society in a useful way.

This? More bollocks than I can ever express in words.

Fuck off and get a job would be my advice to anyone using that page (including the friend that likes it..)

gordyslovesheep Thu 19-Sep-13 20:57:27

yes The Body grin I have wine and peanuts

thebody Thu 19-Sep-13 20:57:32

who the actual fuck are these parents/women?

letting your baby die??? Actually was setting out to laugh at this thread with op but but now am really shocked.

I often wondered about the nazi mothers living in the camps married to the guards who nurtured their own children and watched other women's children be starved and gassed.

sorry if that's ott but just shocked to the core by this.

EntWife Thu 19-Sep-13 20:57:46

sounds like rich pickings for sanctimommy

https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523533471000365

HangingGardenofBabbysBum Thu 19-Sep-13 20:58:50

That's absolutely given me the biggest snigger I've had in hours.

Fabulous irony-free berks.

I cannot imagine their stomach-dropping horror when their wee one spits out the nipple, pops into the real world and cones back with a biscuit and some opinions.

Do you think they keep doing smug posts once the kids can formulate a sentence using the words 'own, saddo, life, get, fucking, your.'

gordyslovesheep Thu 19-Sep-13 21:01:21

although I may have a glass of 'man milk' confused since, according to that page, men can produce milk if they try hard enough hmm

thebody Thu 19-Sep-13 21:01:26

brilliant Gordy, lets turn faces to the sun and ignore the mentalists. grin

gordyslovesheep Thu 19-Sep-13 21:02:11

men and women can produce milk without having had a baby. It takes time and dedication but you can do it. I know I had barely any milk, from a csection for 2 months and had to use formula. However I kept with it and did not stop breastfeeding and now I have enough milk that she barely needs formula

Yup - lets all go back to the middle ages in terms of childbirth, that sounds utopian.

AmandaPandtheNightmareMonsters Thu 19-Sep-13 21:07:38

I am quite lentil weavey in my parenting. I don't blether about it because it is boring.

Honestly, the reason you get sanctimonious rubbish is that there isn't actually that much to say about most of these topics. Yes, you might have issues or questions from time to time, but you're better off asking as specific question on one of these boards. General facebook pages are always highly likely to be full of people obsessed and over-invested in how they parent. And when you are obsessed and over-invested, you tend to turn smug and bitchy. Which isn't pleasant to watch.

AmandaPandtheNightmareMonsters Thu 19-Sep-13 21:08:54

Man milk? That sounds like a horrid, horrid sexual euphemism gordy. <boak>

If men can produce milk if they try hard enough then I think that the blame (if any) for my DD being FF lies entirely with my DH for not trying hard enough. Though it would have been quite a hairy experience for DD.

namechangesforthehardstuff Thu 19-Sep-13 21:12:29

No, not them no irony.

<Gives up>

<Hides thread>

plentyofsoap Thu 19-Sep-13 21:23:36

Man milk. I will inform my dh as I am due soon.

GogoGobo Thu 19-Sep-13 21:52:17

But only if he puts a bit of effort in plentyofsoap!

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