To be on the verge of removing my dd from school for rest of year 6

(69 Posts)
measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 09:59:06

There is a child in school who made dds life in school hell last two year. Dd only joined year 4 due to house move but this child has been an issue I have been told since reception.

Child steals dds things, hides her things, has tripped her, pushed her in mud, slammed door on her, name calling. Some of it was minor but it was relentless.

This child has hit sOmeone with a metre ruler, bit someone (she's 11) attacks her child minders younger children, stabbed a child in the back with a pencil so hard it bled as well as threatening and throwing peoples dinners on floor.

Last years teacher tried to deal with it but moved my dd each time not the bully.

Its starting to build up again now and I have had enough of going to work wondering what the hell is going to happen next. Am on the verge of pulling her out.

littlewhitebag Tue 17-Sep-13 10:02:10

You need to call a meeting with the school and spell out your concerns and find out what they plan to do to ensure your child can remain in school. I am quite sure your DD will not be the only child who is being treated like this by the other child. I obviously know nothing about the other child but there may be reasons why she behaves like that and the school may have a plan in place for dealing with her. However, it is not good if your child is suffering.

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 10:05:14

The other Childs family and siblings are lovely, they are on board and as frustrated as school.

TeeBee Tue 17-Sep-13 10:06:48

Have you talked to the teacher about it? If nothing is being done, talk to the head teacher and go and see her every single day it happens, every day. If, after a couple of weeks, nothing has changed, go to the governors and take it up with them. You should not have to move your child for another's behaviour.

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 10:07:36

It got to the point last year dd was exploding into tears/anger each night and crossing road to avoid her.

littlewhitebag Tue 17-Sep-13 10:07:43

Well that at least is a positive. Does the other child have friends? Is it only your child she targets? I wondered if they met socially away from school and got to know each other if maybe a truce could be called?

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 10:10:00

Was in near enough every day/week last year. School are trying to deal with her. Dd cried in teachers office on last day of term she wasn't going into year 6 if x was.

friday16 Tue 17-Sep-13 10:12:00

School are trying to deal with her.

State or private?

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 10:12:52

She has an 'alpha' group of friends who are her friends on/off. They are all the oldest and biggest in class.

She picks on dd and two other of the quoted children.

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 10:14:03

State, she's been attacking children since reception.

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 10:22:11

Quieter not quoted, at least two of the children she goes for have sn or sen.

TwoMuchTwoYoung Tue 17-Sep-13 10:24:39

So what have you done, who have you written to, what have you said to the Headteacher?

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 10:28:40

I've had meetings with blooming everyone twomuch.

friday16 Tue 17-Sep-13 10:32:22

I've had meetings with blooming everyone

But what has been done, and what have you done when things haven't been done? For example, if the head is ineffectual, have you approached the governors or the LEA?

I would suspect that pulling your child out is a reasonable move. If the school can't or won't do anything, then year 6 is pretty much a dead loss with SATs anyway so either moving your child or home educating would be a sensible thing to do. In the time available, the school's unlikely to do in six months what it hasn't done in six years.

The offender will almost certainly get a shock at secondary school, and will probably end up excluded within a year or so. The parents might wake up a bit then.

Ilisten2theradio Tue 17-Sep-13 10:48:07

If things aren't changing, then forget meetings, everything needs to be in writing.
You need to e-mail or write to the head every time there is an issue and so do the other parents of children affected. if the head is not doing anything then you need to involve the governors
You need to ask how the school intend to safeguard your child.
I take it you have asked to see their anti-bullying policies and asked what happens when they don't work?
If you get nowhere with the governors you can then involve the LEA and OFSTED.

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 10:53:51

Had meetings with teacher
Had meetings with head /deputy head
Put it into writing
Spoke to governor
Told them I would withdraw my child if they can't keep her safe.

lljkk Tue 17-Sep-13 11:09:49

Realistically, where could your child go to school instead?

Pixieonthemoor Tue 17-Sep-13 11:20:33

Is there another school (state or private) near who you could approach to move your dd to? Also I second going to the LEA. And bringing in the governors a bit more. Perhaps rope all the parents of the bullied children together and present a united front. I am so so sorry for you and your dd. Sounds utterly awful and I am aghast that the school seems to have done precisely squat to sort the situation.

measuringcup Tue 17-Sep-13 11:40:36

Tbh I am tempted to home ed until secondary or look at a private which has a year 6 department.

School are trying to be fair, keeping her seperate, punishing her but she manages to do it at hometime or lunch when things aren't so monitored. She's been like this since reception so I doubt it will change.

ZZZenagain Tue 17-Sep-13 11:43:18

oh goodness, get the poor girl out of there. If you can home educate her till she starts secondary, do it. If it has been going on for two years and the school is proving ineffective, what will improve if your dd stays there?

You say the other child's parents are on board so what are they doing to stop this? If it's happening at hometime are they around at that point?

quoteunquote Tue 17-Sep-13 11:53:29

keep a detailed diary of what happened and the responses,

Deliver your child to the head at 8.30am each morning,

"Here is Mini Measuringcup, I Measuringcup hand her over to your personal care, I hold you personally responsible for all her welfare until 3pm when I will retrieve her from your personal care at this location"

Put it in writing sign and date, and do it every single day,

you have jumped through all their hoops the problem still exists, you need to make them find the solution,

their solution is at the moment count down the days until this child is someone else problem,

Their choice, but do not allow their choice impact on your child.

Ilisten2theradio Tue 17-Sep-13 12:03:16

also have you seen ][https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-school this]] about how to formally complain about the school?

SunshineMMum Tue 17-Sep-13 15:38:12

I so nearly did this. Within two weeks of starting back in year six a Child knocked DS to the floor and bashed his head against concrete and yet school supported the other child. Accelerate the complaint to governor level and insist that some child protection measures are put in place, you could also ask for a risk assessment for any up and coming residential trips. We had to get really tough!

Pixieonthemoor Tue 17-Sep-13 19:13:55

What are you going to do next OP?

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