DS12 talks and replies back to himself. Should I be concerned?

[bengal38]

My sons is 12 years old (13 in October) and ever since he was 6 years old he has been talking to himself and replying back to himself.

He could be at home, at families or at school and friends/family have noticed as well.

He talks to himself about anything and everything. Last night he was talking to himself in his room about how happy he was that we brought him his PE trainers and how happy he was about picking them up today. He was having a conversation like he was talking to a friend on the phone/face to face.

I asked him after-wards what friend he was talking to but he said he wasn't talking to anyone. I told him that I heard him talking and he said that he wasn't talking.

He talks about good things and bad things. Should I be worried? My husband tells me that it's nothing to worry about but he seems to be talking to himself alot lately.

[Whereisegg]

Does he have friends?

[bengal38]

Yes he has lots of friends. Why do you ask?

[Selks]

I'd say that it's not a concern if it's not causing him any problems - it's just a quirky habit - but if he is doing it in public it has the potential to lead other kids to tease or bully him if it gets noticed by the kind of kids who might do that. You might want to alert him to that possibility. But if he is just doing it when on his own I can't see the harm in it.

[teenagetantrums]

My DS is 19 now and still does that, he even talks to his food when he is making a meal, I wouldn't worry as long as he has got friends. He is just saying out loud what most of us would be thinking to ourselves.

[JerseySpud]

I'm 28 and still talk to myself. mainly in my head now.

[PollyPlummer]

I do it. Although I sing to myself rather than saying it, even if its just reminding myself to do something.

[GingerBlackAndOriental]

I talk to myself all the time, mostly in my head rather than out loud. He's just saying it out loud the same things we all say in our heads I guess?

[CoolStoryBro]

I used to do that! I think it's all part of getting comfortable with one's own company. I used to interview myself ready for when I became famous too...

[wonderingsoul]

coolstorybro

that made me smile

i wouldnt be too worried, maybe explaine that other kids may pick up on it and may mock him for it. i think that he says both good and bad things is a good and can be healthy for them, he is working his "issues" out and explaing them, much better then keeping it all in.

[Whereisegg]

Because, I sometimes do it if I'm alone for an extended period.

I wondered that as he does it a lot, it might be because he doesn't talk to people much at school.

Sorry, does that make any sense?!
Didn't mean it to sound judgy at all, just, well I don't know really.

I think it a quirk, not necessarily odd, and that others (children at least) aren't bothered by it so I wouldn't worry.

[livinginwonderland]

I talk to myself all the time, so does DP. I don't think it's a big deal.

[ziggiestardust]

I used to talk to myself a LOT at his age. It was a way of getting things figured out, I think. I used to put things into a sort of story format, you know; he said X, she said X etc. It sounds crazy doesn't it?!

I think I realised by myself how it sounded, and when I was about 14/15 I got quieter with it, until I just did it in my head.

I'm a perfectly sane 25 year old now with a fab job, DH, DS and house, so I didn't talk myself into harming small animals or anything

I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. At least you know what he's thinking!!

[WeileWeileWaile]

My DS (11) does this a lot - I used to worry about it, but I'm just used to it now. He kind of goes off into a day dream and doesn't really notice he's doing it.

Sometime most times, to be honest when we're out, he won't be walking beside us. Turn around, and he's twirling around and doing sound effects to whatever conversation he's having. I don't even notice that other people might consider it odd any more

[Iamsparklyknickers]

I do that all the time - it's fairly common I think. Definitely worth reminding him it's something to keep out of public places though. I work with a couple of women who are constantly chuntering to themselves, it's not weird as such but it is bloody annoying!

Is he creative at all? I think it's something that people with good imaginations tend to pick up as a habit, if you want to do something proactive maybe encourage him in a creative activity that appeals to him. I reckon writers have an almost constant internal dialogue going on. *disclaimer - not a writer!

[Tee2072]

I talk to myself all the time, everywhere.

The greatest boon to those of us who do this are mobile phones with headsets. Looks like you're on the phone but you're actually just talking to yourself as you walk down the street.

I really wouldn't worry about it.

[CeliaFate]

I talk to myself when I'm alone. I hear ds age 10 chatting away to himself in his room, I think it's cute.
I wouldn't worry about it, unless he starts doing it when he's with other people. Perhaps teach him to say it in his head or quietly under his breath, then if people mention it he could say he was singing. Why this is more acceptable than talking to yourself I don't know but people often have a tune in their head they can't get rid of.

[whois]

+1 for not to worry. I talk to myself reasonably often, also sometimes kind of sing. Especially if I'm doing something process driven like cooking a recipe from memory I'll sing the stages to myself.

[BrandiBroke]

I talk to my cats and then talk back as if they were answering - and each cat has a different tone of voice! I do sometimes worry that my neighbour can hear me but I carry on doing it!

[cuttingpicassostoenails]

I do it all the time. I have to talk to myself cos no bugger else will listen!

[Andro]

I do this as well; depending on the topic, speaking/explaining it out loud can help me sort it out. I can turn it into an internal monologue when I need to, but usually I can't see the point when I'm at home or in my office.

[lottiegarbanzo]

The only odd thing about your description is that he told you he wasn't talking - at all. Everyone else here seems very well aware that they are / were doing this.

[Andro]

lottiegarbanzo - not always, especially not if I'm totally absorbed in something (I then don't realise that I'm speaking out loud and give blank looks when asked what I was saying/was I speaking to whoever).