To demand a c-section?

(69 Posts)
steppedonlego Sat 07-Sep-13 09:55:52

Quite willing to be told I am by the way.

I was really lucky to have an easy pregnancy, until the last 8 weeks or so, when I started to have severe period like pains and back pain. Went to the hospital to be checked out, and I found the midwives and doctor there very dismissive. They did an internal exam, (later finding out I have gbs) and then discharged me. When I asked what the cause of pain was or what they could do to help me, the doctor looked at me, sighed, and asked "why did you come today?" I responded "to make sure that me an my baby are alright". He replied "you're both fine, go home." I went home, feeling like a scolded little girl who had wasted his time.

The pain continued throughout the next few weeks, with husband asking me to go back, and me refusing, thinking that I was being hysterical, and that I must be exaggerating, until last night when it got too much, and I went back again. Waited 6 hours to be seen, was waiting in a room with other pregnant women, all happily chatting amongst themselves, looking radiant, and I was curled up in a corner, dripping with sweat and sobbing. Eventually got seen, at first the doctor thought the baby was breech, (no idea why that would cause pain) but got an ultrasound machine, and slapped it on, looked once, announced "head down" then took off, throwing the curtain open and leaving me fully exposed with no means of cleaning myself of the gel, and on full view to everyone. I was poked and prodded by about 5 different people, and then told that I probably have spd, and that they'll refer me for physio, but I probably won't get it in time, and that now they were going to give me an internal exam. I ended up just sobbing, and asking why they needed to, doctor said it was to check I wasn't in labour. I told them not to, and that if I was surely I'd know about it very shortly. They eventually discharged me at 2am. I went home and didn't sleep all night.

There were several other things that bothered me, the urine sample dropped on the floor that I was in that obviously belonged to the last person and which had not been cleaned, the monitor having old gel left on it from the last person and only wiped off with a tissue. The six hour wait, I know nurses are run off their feet, but the quality of care is really poor.

I'm now just really worried because I have read stories from women on the Internet who have spd, and also from a friend saying they got too exhausted to push and they ended up having an emergency c-section. I'm doubly worried about this because my baby is very large (8 pounds at 36 weeks) and this was a worry for me anyway. I'm having nightmares about her not being able to breathe and getting brain damage, and nobody is giving me any advice, or even information about what gbs is, or what spd is, or the risk of having a bigger baby, they're just telling me I have these things and leaving me to worry. I'm not bothered about myself, all I was is my baby to be safe and happy and healthy, and it seems the NHS is determined for her to be anything but.

Sorry to ramble on so much, but my question is, am I being unreasonable to have no faith whatsoever in the NHS's ability to get me through natural birth safely, and to demand a c-section?

HeySoulSister Sat 07-Sep-13 09:58:46

yabu

wonderingsoul Sat 07-Sep-13 10:02:41

yabu to want a c-secton due to this.

but i can see why you are so worried, are you able to see your mid wife to talk these things through? also is there another hospital that you could go to? it may be able to put your mind at rest.

LilRedWG Sat 07-Sep-13 10:03:20

A CS is major surgery. If you don't trust them to let your body naturally labour, why would you trust them with this.

What is your midwife like? Can ypu discuss your concerns with her? Alternatively, can you afford a doula?

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 07-Sep-13 10:06:17

First of all,sorry for your pins,must be tough.

Your baby is only estimated to be 8lbs. Weight by scan is notoriously so often off the mark. Lots of women told their babies are big and then have perfectly average weight babies.

A c section is not something to be decided on willy nilly and tbh I wouldn't choose to have surgery in a hospital that is so busy that basic cleaning cannot be carried out.

fuckwittery Sat 07-Sep-13 10:06:37

If you have a c section you'll need to potentially stay in much longer and you are quite helpless afterwards, very much at the mercy of the nhs. I know some ladies can get discharged quickly, but I had a terrible time in the post natal ward.
Your experience doesn't sound good. Have you a community midwife with whom you have a relationship with, and could chat this through with? Did you have your DP with you in these appts, to help you ask what's going on and make sure you are not dismissed? Have you though about maybe having a doula with you for birth?

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 07-Sep-13 10:07:09

Pains not pins. I have no idea whether you have pins or not.

SuburbanRhonda Sat 07-Sep-13 10:10:53

DS was 8.5 lb at 36 weeks - I was taking part in a research project and was having four-weekly scans - he was born at 39 weeks by elective c-section, weighing 10lb 6. The midwife said his weight had been increasing by half a pound a week! Even the registrar said she would have had a c-section in my situation.

I would stop short of "demanding", otherwise YANBU.

MrsLouisTheroux Sat 07-Sep-13 10:11:07

Hmm. You don't seem to have had a very sympathetic response from anyone. There is back pain ( niggling pain) and back pain ( where you can hardly move) I would go back to the GP but go with somebody else (DP) who will tell them calmly and assertively what the problem is. I say this because if you are in an emotional state ( sobbing /sweating) you are not likely to be able to communicate in the way you would normally which can lead to confusion and misunderstandings.

steppedonlego Sat 07-Sep-13 10:12:28

I'm not worried at all about myself, I just want my baby to be alright, and from where I'm looking, a c-section looks like the least traumatic birth for her, I know it's major surgery, and that there's a long recovery time afterwards, but I've been told that there is with natural birth with spd also. (I know dr google isn't the best, but as I've got absolutely no information from my health care providers, it's all I've got)

My midwife is equally dismissive, when I was asking her about the gbs, and what signs to look out for in baby, she just went on a rant telling me that I had parental responsibility and it was my job to bring baby in if I thought anything was wrong ( :s okay... I would have done that anyway) definitely not in a position to hire a doula

Squitten Sat 07-Sep-13 10:13:29

In your situation, I would do everything to avoid a c-section! I wouldn't want to be having surgery and then be trapped on a ward for days if the care is as bad as that!

Can you change hospital?

LilRedWG Sat 07-Sep-13 10:14:59

Is your GP sympathetic? I really think you need some reassurance.

meditrina Sat 07-Sep-13 10:15:21

I had quite severe SPD. It is definitely possible to have a push-out birth, and indeed given the extra softness of ligaments, there are many of us who have very straightforward births indeed.

I'm afraid that waiting times when you attend in the evenings do tend to be longer than anyone would like. And you do seem to have been unlucky that there were so many pregnant women requiring attention all that one evening. Unfortunately, they cannot really be seen in general parts of the hospital instead.

Have you thought about changing hospital? If you do require a c-section, you will almost certainly be in for much longer than a VB, so given bedside manner of that doctor and your concerns over hygiene, you may well feel more confident elsewhere.

Also ring your usual team on Monday morning to discuss the SPD and see what can be done. Even with little time to go, such things as physio, belt, and if severe bed rest, still make a difference.

LonelyGoatherd Sat 07-Sep-13 10:16:12

what a stressful situation - I'd change hospital (you can choose where to give birth). If you have a cs, it's 2 nights in hospital (minimum) in my area.

steppedonlego Sat 07-Sep-13 10:16:24

Not able to change hospital because the nearest is 45 minutes away and DH doesn't drive, and also am not 38 weeks and not sure how long it would take to organise it.

DameFanny Sat 07-Sep-13 10:17:36

I can see why the idea of a CS appeals - you're feeling out of control with the situation and you want to get back in control. There are other ways to do this however, which won't leave you as dependent on the hospital you don't currently have trust in.

Make an appointment with your midwife and talk the whole thing through - draw up a list with the GBS, SPD etc, plus talk through safe labouring positions, pain relief options etc. if you don't get the answers you need, press harder, or see another midwife til you do.

Once you're happy you have the info you need, you make make a birth plan and make sure your partner understands it. So if the pain relief isn't enough he can insist on something else, if you're exhausted he'll shout on your behalf. Make sure he knows he's allowed to be an absolute nuisance on your behalf, and that he knows when to step in and advocate for you.

The overwhelming chances are that you'll have a regular labour and be home with your baby shortly after. You just need a bit more information at this point so you can make some plans. Good luck smile

FrigginRexManningDay Sat 07-Sep-13 10:17:41

You will get anti biotics in labour with gbs.

I don't want to be mean or worry you or anything but a c section is not the least traumatic. Vaginal and c section carry their risks.

TheFantasticFixit Sat 07-Sep-13 10:18:26

Golly. Your hospital sounds like. Bloody nightmare. Nothing like reassuring care, is there? hmm

I think you need to explore the reasons behind wanting a section though more because if I'm honest, this sequence of events doesn't naturally arrive at the conclusion that a c-section would be 'brst'. I mean that from the perspective of the consultant and midwife who have to agree to the section. I've had one emcs, after a long traumatic labour and ended up staying in hospital for a week after (with my dd) due to haemorrhage and further complications. Once home however my recovery was swift and my scar is practically perfect and healed beautifully. I've requested a elcs with this pregnancy but there is a huge process to go through to request one - it's not as easy as just saying 'I'd like an elective please'.

Having said that, if you really think you want a c-section then you have a right to request it. It is major surgery but quite frankly a vaginal birth can be traumatic as well.

TheFantasticFixit Sat 07-Sep-13 10:19:06

Golly. Your hospital sounds like a bloody nightmare. Nothing like reassuring care, is there? hmm

I think you need to explore the reasons behind wanting a section though more because if I'm honest, this sequence of events doesn't naturally arrive at the conclusion that a c-section would be 'best'. I mean that from the perspective of the consultant and midwife who have to agree to the section. I've had one emcs, after a long traumatic labour and ended up staying in hospital for a week after (with my dd) due to haemorrhage and further complications. Once home however my recovery was swift and my scar is practically perfect and healed beautifully. I've requested a elcs with this pregnancy but there is a huge process to go through to request one - it's not as easy as just saying 'I'd like an elective please'.

Having said that, if you really think you want a c-section then you have a right to request it. It is major surgery but quite frankly a vaginal birth can be traumatic as well.

meditrina Sat 07-Sep-13 10:19:19

"but I've been told that there is with natural birth with spd also."

This isn't true - it's rare there is any trace of it after a week or so, and it's something you can go home with straight away (unlike c-section, where it's nearly always 2+ days in). Plus of course you'll still have the same time for SPD to subside, irrespective of means of delivery.

TheFantasticFixit Sat 07-Sep-13 10:19:24

Gah, apols for double post

NatashaBee Sat 07-Sep-13 10:20:04

I would be worried too in your position. I don't know anything about GBS, but I do know there are certain positions you should avoid in labour if you have SPD. I would complain to PALS about your treatment. Is your midwife sympathetic? Is there another hospital you could transfer to?

If you want a doula but money is an issue, I believe that a trainee doula can attend your birth for a token sum of money - they need to get a certain amount of births in when training.

Wishihadabs Sat 07-Sep-13 10:22:06

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. What about a home birth if the hospital care is bad ?

sillymeagain Sat 07-Sep-13 10:25:25

Gbs is a bacteria (group b strep) that a lot of woman carry but don't realise. ..as I recall it is harmless to women but can be harmful to baby. I have it and you just need to make sure they give you some iv antibiotics when you go in to labour. This apparently counteracts the small risk to baby.

This was advice 5 yrs ago. ..you may want to check current protocol.

Hope this helps
Xx

ZolaBuddleia Sat 07-Sep-13 10:25:57

Is there anyone who could give your DH a lift? A v cheap Travelodge or something he could stay in?

It sounds like all trust between you and the hospital has broken down. For the sake of your anxiety levels I'd find out all you can about changing hospitals.

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