To find it amusing how women that are obsessed with how they look and are in love with themselves...

(238 Posts)
Nonalphamum Tue 03-Sep-13 10:36:27

.......are often perceived by others to be 'very beautiful' when often they are not.

I am thinking of two examples really; the first is a mum from my DCs school. Early forties and totally obsessed with the way she looks and constantly putting 'selfies' on Facebook of herself posing. she is average looking but I know lots of women that are far prettier and more natural. Yet because she thinks she is gorgeous everyone queues up to tell her how gorgeous she is and lots of mums at the school seem to be taken in by it too 'X's mum is so beautiful'. I think they are taken in by it as she wears nice clothes, has hair extensions, fake tans, nail extensions etc.

The second is a woman I know from an online forum. Again average looking but totally in love with herself and absolutely covered in fake tan and make up, and posting constant selfies again on Facebook. She is known as the 'beautiful' one from the forum but in all honesty I think lots of other members are far prettier and more natural.

I know I'm going to be accused of being jealous, and I'm truly not. I just can't understand why people are taken in by that kind of person. It's like if a person loves themselves then everyone else assumes they must be beautiful. A bit like the Emperor's New Clothes scenario.

20wkbaby Wed 04-Sep-13 11:29:13

I should also say she presents herself and her family in the same way. If they like something they love it and loathe anything different. She self-consciously (I think) creates the image she wants to portray to the world.

And why not? I hear you ask. Because she creates an image for other people too and is surprised/ disappointed/ angry when people fail to behave they way she expects them to.

She admits it's a control thing and I think she is getting a bit better but still a pain for all concerned.

20wkbaby Wed 04-Sep-13 11:26:34

Totally agree with Lazysuzanne. The thing tends to be a problem because no-one else is allowed to intrude on that territory. Like with siblings when one is the 'pretty one' and one is the 'clever one' it ends up being a limitation for all concerned.

When I was little my sister was so pro-pink and somehow I got labelled as not liking pink that I felt I had to hide the fact I liked it. This kind of thing carrries on in my sister's head between us to this day - everything is compared.

When I do something she doesn't expect it's all astonishment and making me feel self conscious about it. She was 'surprised' to find that I am a fairly organised person. Apparently that is 'her thing'. You'd think that living with me for the best part of 20-odd years she would know that I and the rest of the human race are not black and white stereotypes but she is just happier knowing 'what' we are.

Gretagumbo Tue 03-Sep-13 20:27:54

All power to them....live and let live innit. As long as they aren't up in your grill criticising you and your clothes just simply doesn't matter.

Negativity ages people prematurely.fact.

LimitedEditionLady Tue 03-Sep-13 20:02:48

I still love my eyeliner,yet not as thick.....

Lazysuzanne Tue 03-Sep-13 19:33:57

when I was 15 I used to plaster on that black eyelinergrin
I agree it looks like gilding the lilly when you see young girls in alot of make up but it's just fashion and it washes off wink

SomethingOnce Tue 03-Sep-13 19:21:31

You're spot on, Subliminal - in the tit jobs and cosmetics arms race, everybody gets to look like a female impersonator.

I can't imagine what men find attractive about such synthetic concoctions, but maybe I'm old and it's an aesthetic all of its own that I will never understand.

Darling, let me run my fingers through your tumbling... acrylic [shudder]

Two words for you. Black. Lipstick. Oh the shame!

SubliminalMassaging Tue 03-Sep-13 18:41:10

God, yes! My biggest mistake was the Pat Butcher 80's earrings.

Haha, don't we all look back on older photos and think that?

SubliminalMassaging Tue 03-Sep-13 18:38:26

Of course. But when they look back they'll go 'WTF was I on? Why didn't someone more experienced stop me?' grin

That's your opinion though. Fwiw I agree it looks awful. But they like it, and that's the bit that actually matters.

SubliminalMassaging Tue 03-Sep-13 18:29:04

It makes me sad to see so may very young, lovely looking girls with great skin and fresh, lovely, pretty faces, with inches of make up, deep unnatural looking tans, and worst of all the false eyelashes and very heavy drawn on eyebrows, which are my pet hate. They look like drag queens, 20 years older than they are. I am not against fashion or make up and I'm sure I have looked trashy in my time, but it's reached new heights and the girls actually look so much worse for it.

Lazysuzanne Tue 03-Sep-13 18:12:51

I wasnt passing judgment I was just speculating about the processes underlying the erm..phenomena grin

LessMissAbs Tue 03-Sep-13 18:10:08

I think its easy to get caught up in a certain look and overdo that look and not feel "right" without it, when in fact less is often more. That might be the false hair, nails and eyelashes thing or it might be loads of eye makeup and so much hairspray the hair is without movement!

It is possible to get subtle hair extensions, with the aim of making your own hair look thicker so that it doesn't look fake, or to use one application of fake tan a week in winter to get a bit of a glow, or to get the shortest false eyelashes available to thicken up your own eyelashes.

I agree there are some people who think that the application of hair, eyelashes and false boobs somehow magically makes them join the beautiful club, but of course the face is still important...

I also agree that theres nothing worse than a woman who is quite plain who thinks and acts like a spoilt beautiful princess. Even in a spoilt beautiful princess that would be annoying enough...

SunshineMMum Tue 03-Sep-13 18:09:44

I don't think what others wear, or look should really an issue. In my experience there are cliques of Mums at the school gate, grouped together by common interest. I might not share the same aesthetic or taste as someone else, but I don't think that I'd judge how they view themselves, based on appearance.

TheUglyFuckling Tue 03-Sep-13 18:02:55

But why does it matter Lazysuzanne? In every group there tends to be a hierarchy. In the group you describe the one with the poshest outfit and the most glam hair is leader. But the other people in that group tend towards that sort of thing themselves.

in my local book group there's a woman who really lives and breathes the books, and is highly articulate so she tends to lead the group often, and the rest of us admire her for it.

TheUglyFuckling Tue 03-Sep-13 17:58:18

If someone actually enjoys spending an hour doing their make-up and picking out a nice outft to wear on the school, then I really don't have a problem with that. She enjoys doing it and it harms no one.

A darn sight healtheir than someone standing at the school gate and glaring at the poor woman, and thinking all sorts of negative thoughts about her, just because she has hair extensions and is wearing glam heels.

Lazysuzanne Tue 03-Sep-13 17:50:23

of course I have seen this sort of thing (or what looks like it) certain women get to 'hold court' and they become the nucleus of the in crowd.
Perhaps they are just able to catch the attention of a few key people and then everyone else follows suit?
It becomes a kind of heresy to not agree that 'x' is so beautiful/lovely/gorgeous

It's not an easy one to distinguish. People are too complicated for that.

LimitedEditionLady Tue 03-Sep-13 16:53:17

So how dya know if its fitting on or self confidence.?

Parmarella Tue 03-Sep-13 16:51:56

Lazysuz, that might well be true.

Lweji Tue 03-Sep-13 16:47:50

Of course the same applies to some men. ex

Hard to know, think you'd have to get to know each person. It's horrible that so many people feel so much pressure related to how they look, society and the media accentuate it so much.

LimitedEditionLady Tue 03-Sep-13 16:44:03

See this is interesting,explain away im very open to listen x

LimitedEditionLady Tue 03-Sep-13 16:43:11

Sorry im not with you,what exchange?

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