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to think after 14 years you can't decide to be called Gran instead of Grandma?

(26 Posts)
Owllady Tue 03-Sep-13 10:29:09

apart from anything else the children are confused who Gran is.....

I think my MIL is losing the plot (and obviously it's up to her what she wants to be called wink )

HeySoulSister Tue 03-Sep-13 10:30:25

Well we go from mummy to mum, so why is it any different?

Are you just looking for an excuse to mil bash?

Owllady Tue 03-Sep-13 10:33:07

god no, i like my MIL - don't tar me with that brush!smile

SeaSickSal Tue 03-Sep-13 10:33:15

Er, that's fine. Presumably children around the age (and much younger) are able to understand the request. If you know it's up to her what she wants to be called why are you asking the question?

mrsjay Tue 03-Sep-13 10:35:50

has one of her friends told her that grandma was old fashioned or she was old maybe that was a turning point for her, she can call herself what she likes doesn't mean the GC have to call her it, I have an auntie that has 3 titles her 3 sets of Gc call her something different confused

Owllady Tue 03-Sep-13 10:37:22

she hasn't told us, she has just started signing off cards Gran instead of Grandma

and I know it's no big deal

mrsjay Tue 03-Sep-13 10:41:25

do the children think she has lost the plot too maybe she will just be G in a few years grin

Owllady Tue 03-Sep-13 10:41:43

or Grrrr

mrsjay Tue 03-Sep-13 10:42:56

or Grrrr

grin

TheSmallClanger Tue 03-Sep-13 10:46:10

As long as the other grandmother isn't already "Gran", thus causing confusion, I don't see the problem.

At some point in early adulthood I and one of my aunts started being on first-name terms only. It happens sometimes.

I think your view of yourself can change over time. For example, I grew up never having my name shortened, and when I did my nurse training, there was another girl with the same name, who did use the shortened version, so she was, let's say, Cathy, whilst I was Catherine. When I left nursing and went to university, I decided new path, new me, new name, and introduced myself to everyone as Cathy, and have been Cathy ever since - it felt right at the time, and still does.

That said, I do appreciate that it would be very difficult for those who knew me before the change to start calling me Cathy, so I know I am Catherine to them, and Cathy to everyone else, and I don't let that bother me.

Maybe your MIL feels Gran is more 'her' than Grandma, and that's why she would like to change. But she will have to understand that it is not easy for other people to make that change, especially if they are small children.

You can explain to her that people can shorten their names, and titles - and that whilst little children call their parents mummy and daddy, when they are older, they call them mum and dad, and that this is something similar, and she isn't losing her marbles.

mrsjay Tue 03-Sep-13 10:50:31

maybe she thinks that the children need to stop saying grandma like HEYSOUL SAid the transition from mummy to mum , it is strange though I havn't heard of a gran changing her title,

Owllady Tue 03-Sep-13 10:54:35

do you think that's what it is then? she has decided at almost 80 with grandchildren in their 20s (actually one in their 30s) she no longer wants to be grandma? we didn't decide she had to be grandma btw

I am odd for finding it odd arent I?

It's okay I am a big grrrl I can take it

mrsjay Tue 03-Sep-13 10:55:48

you are not odd for thinking it If my mum changed her title saying I shall now be called grand mama then I would be confused too

SilverApples Tue 03-Sep-13 11:01:58

If I make it to nearly 80, I shall call myself whatever I fancy on the morning I wake, and refuse to answer to anything else.
I have long to do list of many things that my nearest and dearest may be startled by, but I reckon after decades of suiting others, I shall suit myself for the while I have left.
DD went through a long phase of insisting her name was a vegetable, and this may be a factor. grin
I'm sure that as adults, you will be able to cope with this huge change.

Would it be easier to see it as a modification of her title rather than a change? Less drastic, maybe?

Beastofburden Tue 03-Sep-13 11:14:34

lol one of my kids changed his name in the teen years, and so did my brother- so why not their granny too?

She's probably feeling old and doesnt like it. I can empathise with that..

NotYoMomma Tue 03-Sep-13 11:17:25

I randomly started to say Granny rather than Grandma myself as a teen, its no big

although I did raise an eyebrow when My 65 yo Auntie Susie was suddenly Suzi....

diddl Tue 03-Sep-13 11:19:48

Grandma is very formal.

My mum was Nanny, MIL is Gran-they chose themselves.

Dad & FIL are both Grandad-with the places they live used to differentiate when necessary!

squoosh Tue 03-Sep-13 11:24:41

I don't think Grandma is very formal at all!

Grandmother or Grandmama are formal.

Granny is nice and cosy.

I don't like Gran.

diddl Tue 03-Sep-13 11:40:11

Well yes, they are def more formal!-perhaps that wasn't the word I was meaning.

I guess it's because "ma" isn't a word I use it just sounds odd.

Although we used to call maternal GPs Grandma & Granddad-as in "let's go & see GM & GD"-but I don't ever recall calling her GMa as a name iyswim.

"I don't like Gran."-you've met my MIL, then?grin

My FIL went from Grandad to Papa overnight hmm.

Wafflenose Tue 03-Sep-13 12:31:53

She can call herself what she likes. Do you have PMT, OP?

Wildmeanfairlyhipkid Tue 03-Sep-13 12:42:59

Not really wafflenose, there are limits.
My narc mother wanted to be called ma. Given that I am dd's ma (or mammy), she can get fucked, and was told she could have grandma or granny as nanny was take by the highly sensible inlaws during her interminable dithering.

Owllady Tue 03-Sep-13 13:49:20

I know she can call herself what she likes! I just found it odd she would change it without saying 'actually I don't like being Grandma, I would prefer Gran' but she is of that generational upbringing where she doesn't 'talk' about stuff iykwim, so maybe that's why she hasn't. I will ask her the next time I talk to her what her preference is and we will go with what she wants confused

I did want to know if it is something people do too. I wasn't very sensitive posting is she losing the plot and I apologise and no I don't have PMT but I don't think it's relative to the thread if I had grin

I have been with my husband for 18 years and me and MIL have always got on, she's very inoffensive as am I (well I hope so, I am certainly not argumentative or objectionable)

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