I was 5. I never saw my father again until I was almost 40 (when he found me on the internet). He was never, ever discussed by my mother. It was as if he did not exist. He also never paid any child maintenance (I was not the only child). Mother remarried, new husband was 'dad'. Neither myself or my siblings ever asked about it (too scared of my mother no doubt). Having had DCs myself, I cannot imagine how they would have coped without having their father in their lives.
My father (on speaking to him as an adult) will also not speak of it. It's water under the bridge. No other sibling has got in contact with him but me and I am quite confused as the family 'legend' of him being a violent, alcoholic, and my mother being beaten and abused by him, does not ring true since meeting him.
They both maintain 'it did not involve you, you don't need to know what happened'. I actually feel that I was extremely screwed up by it as I witnessed domestic violence and I feel that the 'loss' of my dad made me extremely anxious (still am to this day). I also have some confusing memories which are apparently not what I thought they were .
I am the only sibling questioning it though so AIBU in wanting to know why my childhood was blown apart or are they?
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
Or are my parents - Their divorce was nothing to do with me and is never to be discussed?
21 replies
ComingOutOfTheFOG · 03/09/2013 00:12
OP posts:
miemohrs ·
03/09/2013 09:36
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