To think that my dad is a bit of a bad influence on my kids

(36 Posts)
BumFunHun Mon 02-Sep-13 14:37:21

Brief outline - he's been living with us for best part of a year after being booted out of his rented flat, and in return for us putting a roof over his head, helps out with childcare one day a week while I work.

In the last couple of months my 2yo has been coming out with some choice phrases; "I'm knackered" "Monty [cat] is a bumhole" "I farted from my mouth" "[baby] is a bum hole" and so on.

No 'swearing' as such (bum hole, knackered and fart aren't swearing in my book) but even so - hubby is getting the raving arse about it. I think it's not ideal, but am glad it's only these phrases she's picked up from him - it could be a lot worse. Tbf, if she chose one of my terms of endearments for the bloody cat it would be mortifying (he is a little shite at the moment)

So come on then - hit me with it! Do I need to have another word in the old man's ear? We've told him to watch his mouth around the kids before - but think it's probably a case of old habits die hard and all that jazz....

NotYoMomma Tue 03-Sep-13 10:20:17

knackered and ta are pretty normal where I live, the rest I wouldn't be impressed about

Cookethenook Tue 03-Sep-13 09:36:36

I think it's quite sweet actually. Granddads are supposed to be a bit reckless imo. I think bum hole is a bit of a gross term too. I prefer arse, botty or bum!

My DF had DS up the shed the other day shooting at cans with an air riffle and telling 'rude' jokes to each other. His other Granddad gives him little sips of his whiskey and tells him even ruder jokes! I think it's lovely!

Thymeout Tue 03-Sep-13 09:09:41

Well I think your dad sounds great. I love his sense of humour and new versions of bedtime stories - much better than the original. What lovely memories they're going to have. Good for them to have a variety of linguistic experience. Michael Rosen, ex Children's Laureate, would approve.

Tell your DH to lighten up.

Leo35 Tue 03-Sep-13 08:54:38

Love the new version of That's not my car! So much better than the original. Hope the talk goes well. Your dad sounds a lot like mine - lots of irreverence and lots of fun.

cory Tue 03-Sep-13 08:48:07

I think the historical context of knackered is worn-out and ready for the knacker's yard and that any sexual meaning is actually secondary.

Vix1980 Tue 03-Sep-13 08:43:03

be grateful its just those mild words hes being saying in front of your children, i currently have an ongoing battle with fil when ds has filled his nappy he likes to point and tell him hes got a shitty arse, ds is trying his best to say it which he finds hysterical. i daydream about blowing fil up sometimes, only thing that gets me through the day sad

I guess there of a generation where it didnt matter, dp says he said things to him all the time when he was growing up, but i told him that was 30 odd years ago with his own kids, not mine here and now. I wont have ds going to nursery proclaiming hes got a shitty arse, it looks bad on us as parents! Id say something to him op, or better still get dp to and if he doesnt like it then he can start looking for somewere else to live. I dont think id survive if fil had to live with us!

ll31 Tue 03-Sep-13 08:01:48

Am not really seeing a problem tbh. maybe he's overstayed and thats whats annoying you

dexter73 Tue 03-Sep-13 07:50:26

BumFunHun - your dad sounds brilliant!

wigglesrock Tue 03-Sep-13 07:47:58

I always thought knackered came from being tired after too much sex -my mum never liked us saying it - too vulgar smile

I say knackered all the time, not in its historical context. My 2 year old dropped something the other day and muttered "Jesus Christ" I actually thought my husband had walked into the room.

Silverfoxballs Tue 03-Sep-13 07:41:26

I love the PLT, I am quite lacksidaisacal when it comes to language really. Depends on context used.

It is your house, a gentle chat should suffice.

Backtobedlam Tue 03-Sep-13 07:40:31

I think the word bumhole is horrible, I'd rather they actually swore I think! It's all about what you find acceptable op, if these words aren't then speak to your dad.

digerd Tue 03-Sep-13 07:28:54

The first time I heard the word was in connection with old and worn out horses were sent to the Knackers Yard to be slaughteredsad

I saw in MN that knackered meant sexually tired or something. Fuck knows, never used it to mean that.

I wish grin

DoJo Mon 02-Sep-13 16:01:03

I'm astonished at people's reactions to the term 'bum hole' which I wouldn't even have considered particularly rude, let alone worth banning, and am dying to be enlightened about the term 'knackered' beyond it's meaning as being tired enough to be considered ready for the knackers yard. I don't think any of this sounds too bad to be honest, but if it bothers your husband then by all means address it with your dad.

FunnysInLaJardin Mon 02-Sep-13 15:59:39

I did Mme but didn't want to appear rude. I did think 'well, like father like daughter' grin

MmeLindor Mon 02-Sep-13 15:46:26

He sounds lovely, btw. I much prefer his version of That's Not My Car

BumFunHun Mon 02-Sep-13 15:22:22

The name is an historical one when I switched to this website from another well known parenting forum ;)

As he helped bring me up, I find it hard at times to see much wrong with his ways - although appreciate some may find him vulgar at times. I've managed to hold down a successful, professional job for years and the kids don't do any 'real' swearing (no fucking, shitting etc)

Think I've got my answer though - he does need a quiet word in the lughole later.

MmeLindor Mon 02-Sep-13 15:12:01

Am I the only one looking a bit hmm at the name of the OP?

And you worry that your Dad is a bad influence on your DC smile

Sounds like his sense of humour didn't bypass a generation.

I did laugh a little at the baby been a bum hole. It doesn't sound bad to me but then again I have a nearly 4 year old so its all about willys, bums and farts anyway.

My son has picked up words from my dad. I am currently ignoring him saying Fecker.

He heard my dad say it in the car to another car that had pulled out and nearly hit him.

My mums the worse for it. She says 'oh fuck', then 'oh fuck I said fuck' then 'oh ffs I did it again'
then the finale of 'fuck it' grin

Strangely though the toddler never picked that word up.

BumFunHun Mon 02-Sep-13 15:06:41

I wish it was from coming in from work digerd - but alas, he is a bit of a bum[hole] himself at the moment - part of the problem I think. He's moved away from his friends in his old town when we took him in, and at 58 is struggling to find work. I think it's the kids just being here that tire him out! On the one day a week he helps out, he looks beat at the end of it!

He never says 'farted from my mouth' - but he does have excessive use of the word fart (being as he isn't exactly shy about expelling the excess wind himself) I think that particular phrase was her referring to a burp - and trying to be funny :-/ Hilarious. Not.

Liking your thinking to let DH have a man chat with him though. It will give him an excuse to have a beer this evening. I'll sell it to him that way ;)

digerd Mon 02-Sep-13 15:00:42

Just wondering how your dad is "knackered". Is it from looking after the 2-year-old for a day? Or/and when he comes in from work? I use that word as I am old and knackered grin.
However, "the cat/baby is a bumhole" and " I farted from my mouth", I do not use and haven't heard anybody else saying it either. Not nice infront of a 2 year-old who repeats what he/she hears.

As your DH was furious , he should tell him he will not have it infront of DC - man to man talk. Hope it works.

BumFunHun Mon 02-Sep-13 14:58:58

He is great Recall - I love him dearly - and the kids find him hilarious.

He also came up with the inspired idea of alternative uses for Peppa Pig to pass the day; Peppa Crackling, PLT sarnies

As well as coming up with a whole new version of the 'That's Not My...Car' book: That's not my car, it's windows have no seagull crap. That's not my car, it's driving at the legal speed limit, That's not my car, it's emissions are at a legal level. That's not my car, it started on the second attempt. That's not my car, the children in the back are too quiet. That's not my car, the floor doesn't have mashed up wotsits stuck to it.

Love him.

But his mouth does need a bit of a wash out with soap

Runningonwillpower - that's what hubby said re word knackered.

BumFunHun Mon 02-Sep-13 14:53:28

recall - are you in fact my sister?!

When she said bumhole, I've got to be honest, my first thought was 'at least she didn't call him an arse' :-/

Definitely will have another word with him later I think. It's not great, and don't particularly want her picking up too many more grandadisms

JaneFonda, I'm with you - don't see anything wrong with the word knackered - but by same token, agree with a pp, it just sounds really weird coming from the mouth of such a small child

runningonwillpower Mon 02-Sep-13 14:53:11

PS. Your dad does sound great.

PPS. Knackered is not ok if you know what it really means.

runningonwillpower Mon 02-Sep-13 14:52:02

I swear horribly but I'm all grown-up and know the time and place. And it's never the right time or place in front of children.

I think all of the expressions you cited are forms of swearing (albeit mild) and they sound just horrible coming from the mouths of young children.

I know a few dads (and it is usually dads) who think it's funny to hear small children speak like teenagers but it's really not. I may be fuddy-duddy in this regard but I find it very unattractive.

I would definitely nip this in the bud.

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