To not allow this child on my property?

(63 Posts)
Porridge05 Fri 30-Aug-13 16:19:42

Background info: We live in a terraced cottage, in a terrace of roughly ten houses. The driveway to our house is accessible by driving down a narrow track in between our terrace and another terrace next to it. To get to your own driveway is is neccessary to drive across each others driveways to reach your own, and each house owner is given legal right of way to travel across each, until they reach their own. We live almost at the opposite end of the track and therefore we have legal right of way over everyone's drive, whereas the child I speak about lives 3 doors down from the track, so they do not technically have right of way over our land.

The little girl I am talking about is an only child of about 7 or 8 who lives with her mum. She plays out around the back of the houses on the driveways as it is much safer than playing on the main road at the front. I have never before had a problem with her playing on our drive before now and actually thought it was lovely to see a child enjoying the great outdoors.

However, a few weeks ago she took it upon herself to make a mixture of stones and mud in her back garden and rub it into the bonnets of several of the neighbours cars - including my partner's brand new shiny BMW (She seems to have gone for the expensive cars as mine and my friends little runnabouts were left mud free) :/ . Our friends who live next door, at the end of the terrace caught her in the act, confronted her and told us what they had seen. Her mother came out, told us that it wasn't her fault and didn't apologise for her child's behaviour at all!

Thankfully after carefully washing it all off there isn't any really obvious scratching so we haven't taken it any further. This child now keeps coming to ride her bike up and down our property - I have politely asked her not to do so after she tried to purposely damage peoples cars but I keep catching her doing it anyway when she thinks I'm not watching. Would it be unreasonable to have a very firm but polite word with her mother about this?

LeaveTheBastid Fri 30-Aug-13 18:01:02

Think you need to read the last paragraph again, piglet.

usualsuspect Fri 30-Aug-13 18:01:59

Op, did you mean shes rubbed mud in your car more than once?

because i read it that she doesn't want her to ride her bike.

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 18:02:30

i would give her one last chance, if you catch or she does it again noway

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 18:04:53

usual it is a bit confusing, if it just happened the once, or she kept trying to wreck the cars after you told her not to do it and saw her attempting to do it again. or was she just trying to ride her bike up and down but not wrecking the cars?

Bowlersarm Fri 30-Aug-13 18:05:43

Yes i think she deserves another chance.

Although that is easy for us to say. We don't have to live with any damage she might do.

mysteryfairy Fri 30-Aug-13 18:11:42

Is the access to your land definitely restricted only to the people further down the terrace? When we had a similar arrangement our deeds were such that every property had rights to go across all the gardens. I assume that would have been more straightforward to draft.

CharityFunDay Fri 30-Aug-13 18:23:22

Personally I wouldn't allow her on my property again, and I would explain to her exactly why that is. Might help establish some boundaries.

And the mother needs a kick in the cunt.

DamnBamboo Fri 30-Aug-13 18:26:04

FFS Charity what is wrong with you!

OP YANBU

CoffeeTea103 Fri 30-Aug-13 18:30:20

YANBU, she was very naughty to think up something like this. And her mother not even apologizing for this only would give the girl a wrong message that it is acceptable.
To avoid any more future incidents like this you should stop her from entering your property.

LEMisdisappointed Fri 30-Aug-13 18:38:57

Get yourself a big old rifle and stand at the back door shouting "gerrof my land" alternatively, be the bigger person

WinningBread Fri 30-Aug-13 18:40:15

This sounds a little like bearing a grudge against a 7 year old.

It's just her riding her bike. Sure - if she starts to damage put mud and stones onto your car, tell her to leave.

If she's just maliciously riding a bike in a safe area, I'd just let her.

GibberTheMonkey Fri 30-Aug-13 18:48:09

I think I would be putting my foot down about her going on my land. Not just because if the mud/stones incident but she has also ignored the ops repeated requests. She obviously can't be trusted to listen and I would want the responsibility of her being only property for both her sake and the sake of everything also on that property.

GibberTheMonkey Fri 30-Aug-13 18:48:41

*on my

GibberTheMonkey Fri 30-Aug-13 18:49:15

Having said that she's already ignored the op so not sure what else the op can do really.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Fri 30-Aug-13 18:59:21

I'd say YANBU to bear a grudge against the girl's mother. It's no wonder the girl herself thinks she can behave in this way if her mother takes no responsibility for her child's actions. Yes, she is a child, but 7yo is plenty old enough to understand that you don't scratch cars with mud and stones.

I think you'll struggle to stop her accessing your land if her mother isn't setting proper boundaries and enforcing punishments. I just know that if that had been me, my parents would have had me washing all the cars in the neighbourhood for free for a month by way of apology. And they'd have paid for any damage too, not just shrugged it off. That's the first thing any rational person would offer to do - pay for damage and be hugely apologetic, not ignore the issue.

Porridge05 Sat 31-Aug-13 10:22:16

I actually feel quite sorry for her, as she is often on her own and her mother isn't exactly the nicest specimen Of humanity, which is why I used to quite happily talk to her little girl when she was playing out.

I think it's the deliberateness of her actions, to mix up mud and stones in her own back garden, then proceed to carry it 7 houses up and rub it all over someone's car (5 people's cars actually, all 'premium' type cars) that bothers me :/ and then her mother who complained that it wasn't her fault and refused to apologise.

She hasn't done it again since, but I'm not keen to give her any opportunity to do so.

I'm certain that she has no right of way over ours, I think it's in the deeds from what I recall

Porridge05 Sat 31-Aug-13 10:24:23

Same here wibbly, I would have been washing that car until I saw my face in it, and I would have made my kids do the same! As it happens her mum didn't offer any such thing, but she does give us a lovely set of 'evil eyes' when we drive past.

pigletmania Sat 31-Aug-13 10:46:41

Op i dont blame you, though you could give her one more chance, if it happens again, no more

cansu Sat 31-Aug-13 11:18:17

Think you are over reacting a bit. She did something wrong once and you are going over the top now. A seven year old put some mud and stones on a car once. It's hardly crime of the century. Give the child a break. If anything else happens you may have a point but at the moment you sound a bit unhinged, going on about the legal ramifications of her riding her bike over your driveway.

greenfolder Sat 31-Aug-13 11:23:16

no practical way you can stop her playing on your drive

child will not understand the finer points of any of the legal position.

you would be far better off, now you know that mother has no intention of supervising or admonishing to just tell her direct. you must not put mud on the cars.

and move on.

littlemog Sat 31-Aug-13 11:27:24

And the mother needs a kick in the cunt

Fucking hell. confused

Let the kid ride her bike. Speak to her about what she did that one time to the cars and then stop holding a grudge against a 7 year old girl.

nennypops Sat 31-Aug-13 11:33:07

The kid's 7 years old fgs. You have no evidence that she was doing anything deliberately malicious with her mudpies, nor has she demonstrated any other propensity to be malicious. Children at that age are really not good at working out the consequences of their actions. If you've had a good relationship with her before, surely you just need to have that talk with her and tell her that if she steps out of line once more she will be barred from your land.

Cerisier Sat 31-Aug-13 11:54:01

At age 2 mine knew not to go near neighbours' gardens or cars. I would be very careful OP as this little girl is not being taught how to behave and is perfectly capable of ruining an expensive car when your back is turned.

PresidentServalan Sat 31-Aug-13 13:29:11

YANBU - it's your property and she shouldn't be playing on it. And the mud was vandalism. If you see her, tell her to go away from it. There are a couple of boys who play at the end of my parents road, outside their house (my parents' house not the kids') and they keep throwing stones at one of my parents' cats - they hit the window the other day. So i know what it is like having irritating kids outside!

Wibblypiglikesbananas Sat 31-Aug-13 13:33:45

See, I think the OP is getting a rough ride here. If I were her, I'd be immensely frustrated that the girl's mother wasn't doing more to teach her child acceptable behaviour. Yes, the girl herself may not have been aware of the consequences of her actions the first time she made a mud/stone/scratch the nice new car you've worked hard for pie, let's give her the benefit of the doubt hmm but her mother should know fine well what's right and wrong. By behaving as though the neighbours were in the wrong for daring to say something, she's effectively told her daughter she can get away with this.

Resprays are expensive. Multiple resprays more so. I'd be keeping a very sharp eye out from now on.

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