I'm finding it hard to tell as I think I may have a touch of the baby blues.
Baby is 2 weeks old and born by traumatic ECS. I lost a lot of blood and am supposed to still be recovering while DH is on paternity leave. I'm struggling with breastfeeding which is probably compounding the problem.
DH is great at taking the baby, changing nappies etc. I'm not finding him that great at looking after me though.
I absolutely cannot stand mess and clutter. I can't relax and it makes me feel a bit anxious. I'm sure its to do with having grown up with a neurotic mother who would have screaming fits if there was a mess under my bed etc. anyway DH grew up very differently and let's just say cleaning houses isn't something that's considered an activity you partake in regularly. So we do have different attitudes.
DH considers that he has done loads of cleaning because he has washed up after our meals. However he hasn't wiped a side, done a jot of laundry, vacuumed or wiped the bathroom over. Stuff I consider to be cleaning. He is also really bad at just leaving stuff around. So opens a parcel and then just leaves the packaging where it is etc. We've had loads if flowers that are now dying and need to be thrown away as they are starting to smell. DH has commented but not bothered to get rid of them. I have found myself doing things when I don't feel that I should be. Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and our bedroom for instance. Lots of "you shouldn't be doing that, I can do it" from him but no actual attempts to do anything except watch tv.
He is taking DS for me at night til midnite so I can get a few hours sleep. He is then sleeping in until 8 or 9. He is still asleep now. I'm awake cluster feeding from 6.30 and by the time he finally wakes up I'm starving and very thirsty. He will make me breakfast if I ask but with a "jokey" moan that he doesn't know how to boil an egg or can't stand marmite etc. Yesterday he suggested he take DS while I made the coffee! He finally made it but put it in a room I wasn't in so I didn't get to drink it.
Last night we got fish n chips. I hadn't eaten all day due in part to being busy feeding and also to not having felt great and having had no appetite. Obviously with breastfeeding I have to force myself to eat something. I was feeding and DH put my plate of food down and went off to eat his own food. He had left it right where the cat could get it and of course she did. I had to throw it away and eat a slice of toast instead. He couldn't understand why I was annoyed at him.
The thing is I feel furious at him and just want him to be far, far away from me. He is lying here snoring away while I am feeding our baby and could be for ages yet. I want to punch him in the head and ask him why the hell he thinks paternity leave means he gets to sleep in. I'm not sure if he is actually being a bit of a twat or if this is hormones. Like I said I have a feeling I have the baby blues and have been crying and feeling down the past few days so don't know if I'm being rational or not!
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Is my DH being crap?
39 replies
Soontobemama · 24/08/2013 09:10
OP posts:
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