To just go and sit in A&E tonight.

(52 Posts)
Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 21:34:06

I have a long and complicated history of MH problems. I have been well for about 5 years, graduated got a job, got married, etc.

Occasionally I have times when I suffer so much I want to die. They don't last long (1-2 days).

I asked my husband to give me a cuddle, I was crying so much, but he just sighed and then turned his back on me. My mum is lovely but I can't go to her as she would worry so and I don't need to feel like a burden right now.

I have no one I can call.

I can't even get out of this bedroom we use as a living room for a drink because I can't face a conversation with my inlaws.

At this point A&E on a Friday night even sounds more comforting than feeling trapped in this tiny room in someone else's house that's dirty because I've been lazy the last 2 days.

gordyslovesheep Fri 23-Aug-13 21:36:06

there is someone you can call www.samaritans.org/ - please do - you know you can get well with support

I am sorry your DH is being so cruel - if it's the only thing that WILL help please DO go to A+E x

Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 21:37:53

I support him so much and he let's his fear of me being unwell make him into a cruel and cold person. He is really kind and loving but as soon as I get upset he runs for the hills. I need his support so much.

Maybe a nurse in A&E might talk to me. I just want a cup of tea and a hug :'(

Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 21:39:15

Thank you gordysheep. That is helpful.
I'm not not well, I would never hurt myself again I'm just in a lot of emotional pain.

fuzzpig Fri 23-Aug-13 21:39:53

If you feel unsafe then you should go.

Sorry your DH isn't being the support he should be.

MrsHowardRoark Fri 23-Aug-13 21:40:21

brew
(((Hug)))

fuzzpig Fri 23-Aug-13 21:41:23

It sounds very claustrophobic - are you living with your ILs or is it a 'holiday'?

Can you get out for a walk?

Beastofburden Fri 23-Aug-13 21:41:51

A&e will be busy, this is Friday night. It may be less supportive than you hope. Ring the Samaritans. And do ring your mum, perhaps she will worry but she loves you and will give you that tea, a hug, and a reminder that you can get through this.

FootOfOurStairs Fri 23-Aug-13 21:42:28

Unfortunately, A&E on a Friday night will probably not be able to offer you the space to talk that you are looking for. If you feel unsafe, then they are there, but it sounds more as though you need emotional support. Can you try again to talk to your DH, or ring your own family? Or the Samaritans?

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Fri 23-Aug-13 21:43:06

Love, it does not sound right that you are trapped in a room in someone's house with everyone waiting around for you to clean it up whilst you are unwell. Please go to a&e. someone there will help you and make you safe and comfortable. You don't need to feel so sad and alone xx

MisselthwaiteManor Fri 23-Aug-13 21:44:03

Call your mum, you are not a burden. I'm sure she would want to comfort you if she knew how you were feeling.

Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 21:45:08

Been here for 2 years, saving up for a deposit. Bit dark and cold out for a walk.

Your right A&E might just be a nightmare. I wish would ring mum but even after 6 years she looks at me with terror in her eyes and asks me if I'm going to try and kill myself. She is anxious enough, I can't worry her.

Thanks everyone

sneezecakesmum Fri 23-Aug-13 21:45:25

As an ex A&E nurse my idea of drunken hell is A&E on a friday/saturday night. Any night frankly. And as for MH services in A&E you can expect to wait several hours before a MH nurse will see you and hopefully a psychiatrist too sad. If you are known to MH services do you have the number of the emergency team? They will see you at some point. The emergency out of hours doctor will see you if you can attend an appointment centre. The samaritans will listen but are not there for practical advice and it doesnt sound like you have much privacy.

A&E is OK if you can cope with the idiots there and maybe just getting out of the house is what you need, so maybe not such a bad idea after all. Hope you get some help, it sounds like an awful situation to be in. Either way, see your own GP asap.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 23-Aug-13 21:47:57

<<HUG>>

There are lots of us here to talk to.

It sounds like a bit of a miserable existance. I cannot believe your husband did that to you sad

How long are you planning on living at the inlaws for?

Do you have any friends you could go and stay with?

If you have anywhere else you could go, I woudln't worry about the inlaws, I'd just walk out of the house.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 23-Aug-13 21:49:50

I can understand why you don't want to worry your Mum, but on the other hand, she is your Mum and would probably be very upset to know you haven't called her to spare her feelings x

You have been at the inlaws for TWO YEARS? I'm handcrafting you a medal grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 23-Aug-13 21:50:28

How far away does your Mum live?

Cuddlydragon Fri 23-Aug-13 21:52:47

Please do go to A &E if it will help. Warm warm hugs meantime.

MisselthwaiteManor Fri 23-Aug-13 21:53:23

Vent here if you want to, we're all listening. I want to shake your husband, I can't believe he denied you a hug.

Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 21:53:26

Thanks guys,

I'm not sure I'm known to services anymore. I used to live in A&E! But I got better. I'm not a danger to myself I'm just suffering so much.

I don't need my gp or meds or therapy, I've had it all, what I need is my own space at 28 years old and a husband who is able to give his crying wife a cuddle.

We put an offer on a house so hopefully in month or two we will be out! smile

No friends to stay with, I lost all my friends when I was crazy, then put all efforts into getting qualified and a joband my marri

Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 21:55:14

*marriage. I have mates just no one I could call at 10pm at night.

Mum lives 10min drive away. I see what your saying with going to see her but I've put her through enough.

Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 21:56:09

<grabs the medal >

<waves it in my mils face >

SirBoobAlot Fri 23-Aug-13 21:57:18

Unfortunately, as much as the advice is "Go to A&E if you feel you are a risk to yourself", the reality is you will sit for hours in a busy room, then be seen by someone who is less than sympathetic, then wait a few more hours if you're lucky enough to be told to wait to see MH teams. It's shit, and it shouldn't be that way, especially when it's the advice you're given, but it tends to just make things worse if you're already feeling crap.

Sorry.

Keep talking here. Do call the Samaritans, and find out if there is a mental health services OOH line in your area (some trusts are rolling them out currently). I really hope you feel better soon. And that you H stops being an arse.

Maryz Fri 23-Aug-13 22:00:50

You know, your mum would want to help.

No matter what you have put her through, she is still your mum. Would going and staying with her for a night or two be an option?

Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 22:02:32

I guess I should have explained "I want to die" better. At this time I do, but I would never hurt myself. I'm not suicidal as such I just have a few days a year when I think it would be easier if was not here.

Buddhagirl Fri 23-Aug-13 22:04:23

maryz I could do that but then all 4 parents would want to know why and my husband would think I was being dramatic.... And I'm hoping this will be ok tomorrow and I can have a half decent bank holiday. I hope so. I don't choose to feel like this.

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