(NC, sensitive subject)
Having a discussion with my DH at the moment about my cousin. Cousin is male, 30 yr old. As a small boy we strongly believe that he was abused by his father sexually. As an adult he got together with a much older women with 2 young daughters. Family were making comments like "he likes to give them a bath" and there was some suspicion as to his motives for being with this women.
He later had his own daughter with this women. He didn't tell anyone until she was about 2 and then suddenly announced oh by the way he had a daughter. Him and women split up and he took his daughter and became a single father to her, full custody (women didn't mind) and they lived in a bedsit together, him and his 5 year old.
Neither of my parents/siblings or I are in touch with him. We don't like him for many reasons but there is also this family underlying suspicion that maybe he is a paedophile. Both my mother and I have contacted the police/social services to ask them to be aware/to look out for anything.
Now this cousin and his daughter are coming to our small village for a weeks holiday. Normally they live very far away. DH has never met cousin but knows the back story and family suspicions. He keeps going on...and on...and on and about cousin and DH's and I toddler son. I have reiterated so many times that I do not like cousin, am not in touch with cousin and have no plans to meet up with him or his daughter. But he won't let it go until I agree that this cousin wont be allowed in the house
It's reached the point where I have said to him that surely it is innocent until proven guilty, its just a very strong suspicion held by lots of the family, not a tried and proven 'done deal'
I think it's a bit harsh to openly go on and on with such a strong accusation when I have said until I'm blue in the face that I won't be taking our son to meet him.
DH has now said he wants to tell our nanny, in case cousin turns up on our doorstep and then the nanny will know we don't want him to meet DS. I said that is a step too far and is not necessary. What does he think will happen in broad daylight with our 14 month baby obviously fully supervised at all times?
DH is shouting that I'm a bad mother if my attitude is just "whats the worst that can happen"
So AIBU to tell him to stop going on about it when this guy has not been convicted of paedophilia and I"m not going to be bloody meeting up with him anyway?
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AIBU?
to think even a 'paedophile' is innocent until proven guilty?
49 replies
TravellingToad · 07/08/2013 09:50
OP posts:
hesterton ·
07/08/2013 10:35
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