DH & I married 10 years.
DH hasn't heard from his best man for 3 or 4 years despite living within 10 miles of us.
DH gets a call out of the blue from our best man's best man - turns out he's getting married & wants DH at the stag-do.
DH agrees, says he's looking forward to catching up. No monies exchanged - DH is told all info will be given nearer the time of the stag-do.
TODAY is stag-do day. DH is at home because he didn't receive any further info. It wasn't followed through despite DH's attempt to make contact with best man & groom.
DH is disappointed. I feel disappointed for him.
I'm in a pickle - we RSVP'd the wedding invite at the same time of accepting the stag-do invite, saying we'd love to join in with their wedding celebrations.
DH & I both now feel it is inappropriate to attend. He feels unwanted & rejected. He tried to make good the friendship he originally had with his best man.
My issue is: I don't want the wedding party to be out of pocket for our meal & think it is only fair that we warn them we will not be attending. DH & I will look bad if we do a no-show. On the other hand, I am thinking we don't turn up but if we ever get questioned about it, can say I was suddenly taken ill. (Not rare in my case!)
Note: Invite came with "Cash as a present please" poem 
WWYD?
AIBU?
WWYD? Wedding related but nowhere near as exciting as Tidydancer's scenario
ilikecooking · 03/08/2013 17:31
Now, first off, I got married last month and wee had a tere cash poem in our invite, so my opinion might be invalid.
I think, except if you want to make a point and deliberately stand them up to be spiteful (which imo would be understandable in your situation) I'd just sent a note to say that something's come up and you now can't attend. I had 4 people dither for ages, confirm 5 days before the weddig then cancel 3 days before. The day before the weddig someone else invited themselves!
It happens, and this way you won't leave them wondering on the day.
I've only met the bride once! I assume it's her mobile no. & email address on the invite 
The Poem!.....
More than kisses so far we've shared
Our home has been made with love & care
Most things we need we've already got
And in our home we can't fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(we'd love you to participate)
A gift of money is placed in the well,
but make a wish but sshhh, don't tell!
We don't want to offend but we have it all,
All household goods & so much more.
To save you shopping, sit back & rest
A gift of money is our request.
Don't go overboard & rob any banks
Anything will make us smile with thanks.
We'll supply the wishing well,
Just add the envelope & who can tell.
Now that we've saved you all the fuss,
We'd love for you to celebrate with us.
I'm not on FB, nor is DH.
If you wanted to go to the wedding then I'd still go. Someone has messed up in sorting out the stag event but it might be nothing to do with the groom.
I think if I were asked to a wedding and asked for cash because the couple already has everything, I'd donate to charity and put a note in an envelope saying "As you say you have it all, we have made a donation to a charity instead". I mean, if they have it all, what do they want your money for?
I'm also grossed out by "More than kisses so far we've shared". They're telling their guests they've had sex?
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That's a shame Glaikit that nearly got a bit exciting. (for me) I could?ve gossiped to OP about all the other wedding issues (that i know about) re grabby couple. 
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