To be annoyed about friend's behaviour?

(55 Posts)
Obviouslyanamechange Sat 03-Aug-13 16:45:04

Regular, name changed.

This has been praying on my mind for a few weeks. Went for a bottle or two glass of wine at friends, there was a group of us there who get together on a regular basis....with kids/without/with husbands etc.

Having a lovely time, chatting, laughing etc. one of our friends wasn't there, let's call her A. Friend B and I were having a dance. I stupidly asked her something that had been on my mind nosey for a while.

I asked friend B why she goes round to Bs in the day for alchol with Dcs in tow......because I did this with A and B once and did not enjoy it. I couldn't relax, the Dcs did quite a bit of damage.....let DS's pet rat out.....weed on DS (9) Lego collection and broke models up. Also, they are quite open about the Dcs running riot, getting out of the house etc while they drink. The Dcs are 5.

I know I shouldn't of said it but was curious. Anyway B was livid, ranted on and on.... Shouted at me when I tried to calm her down then when I burst into tears she said say thank you when she comforted me..... I was a bit taken back and felt uncomfortable so didn't say anything, she then repeated sternly say thank you... I did.

Aibu to be angry and find the thank you think odd?

Oblomov Sat 03-Aug-13 22:06:30

Not A or B wink
Am not drinking now , or drunk when looking after kids. But I can have a pimms or a glass of wine during the day, and still be totally in control of ds2 and not be slurring my words, at the school gate, when picking up ds1, you know.
Drinking, during the day, when you have your kids , is not a Crime, you know. Although OP seems to think it is.

CrapBag Sat 03-Aug-13 21:59:51

"Why do you still go round to As house, after the shit time we had here?"

This does not sound like a curious question. To me it sounds like "why do you go to hers when we all had a crap time together" and makes it sound like you are being left out and don't like it. I'm not surprised that you got a bad reaction, it sounds a bit shitty actually. Although the bit about making you say thank you for comforting you is odd.

It doesn't make much sense tbh. So they regularly sit around in the middle of the day, get hammered and let the kids run riot? Not sure I believe it, how does the other one get home? How do they continue to look after their children?

Famzilla Sat 03-Aug-13 20:46:03

I think you all need to stop drinking so much.

Asking someone why they do something they obviously enjoy is never going to end well.

The joy of sobering up and realising you have said something that has offended a friend.

You are both unreasonable.

GreyWhites Sat 03-Aug-13 19:39:21

As far as I can see, there are a lot of people getting very drunk and very emotional and not really making a lot of sense. You ask why your friend behaved in this way, I think the answer really is: booze.

Drunkenly questioning your friend's motives for associating with another friend clearly offended her, but the fact that the pair of you were 3 sheets to the wind at the time meant that the conversation got out of hand.

Clearly the answer is not to get so hammered. Or if you do, don't waste too much time wondering why everyone is behaving so strangely and why things get so chaotic.

Viviennemary Sat 03-Aug-13 19:33:06

You all sound a bit mad to me. Why not cut out the wine and stick to sparkling water and see if that improves things. If not time to call it a day with these friendships.

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin Sat 03-Aug-13 19:30:42

Oblomov, I thought you were coming out as B! grin

(or is it A...?)

FunLovinBunster Sat 03-Aug-13 19:29:28

I am referring to OP and "friends"

FunLovinBunster Sat 03-Aug-13 19:28:40

I think you're all fucking nuts.

Nottalotta Sat 03-Aug-13 19:26:01

I think your friend was a bit wierd for demanding you thank her. And....do people with small children often get drunk during the day while said children run riot??

candycoatedwaterdrops Sat 03-Aug-13 19:22:54

I have no idea what this is thread about. Am I alone in this?

ThePowerof3 Sat 03-Aug-13 19:17:06

It reads to me like the pet rat weed on OPs DS rather than the friends DCs pissing on lego

Oblomov Sat 03-Aug-13 19:11:26

They were drinking at your house. Their kids misbehaved and you didn't like it. But you were drinking too. Not as much as them. 2 glasses, instead of 2 bottles. But you still drank.
And then on top of all of this, the WAY you asked her ' why are you still doing this , when it was do shit when we did it'.
You sound like a complete nutter.
And yes , I drink , with my nursery mum friends , at lunchtime , whilst having 6 kids jumping in and out of paddling pool etc.
I certainly wouldn't invite you again. You sound like a snobby judgemental bore.

Oblomov Sat 03-Aug-13 19:06:56

Op is clearly deluded. She said ' I didn't call her on it, I was just curious'.
Er no, you did call her on it, in a really judgemental way. How you can not see this, is beyond me.

DoJo Sat 03-Aug-13 19:01:15

Presumably if you were drunk enough to ask her a question which could really only have had one answer, she was drunk enough to respond in a way that was a bit OTT and weird. Perhaps you both need to recognise that sharing after drinking doesn't work for either of you and just start afresh!

ENormaSnob Sat 03-Aug-13 18:01:31

I blame wendy.

scarletforya Sat 03-Aug-13 17:58:24

Sounds like she felt judged and felt you were trying to rub it in about the previous episode I reckon.

Vivacia Sat 03-Aug-13 17:48:23

I can understand why you didn't enjoy it (we're another alcohol-free household) but you must have some insight in to the attraction 'cos you did it at least once. What got you to try it?

Obviouslyanamechange Sat 03-Aug-13 17:32:05

Have Mners gleaned enough info to give the verdict?

Obviouslyanamechange Sat 03-Aug-13 17:31:04

Ha monstrous who knows?

Obviouslyanamechange Sat 03-Aug-13 17:29:55

Nope I don't understand...because I didn't enjoy it. I wasnt calling her out on it...just stupid curious.

MonstrousPippin Sat 03-Aug-13 17:17:11

I don't know what you expected her to say to the question of why.

Surely the only reason why she'd continue to meet up for a drink with A is because she enjoys it, unless you thought you were going to get some elaborate blackmail plot that forces B to drink wine with A with her DC there?

BeKindToYourKnees Sat 03-Aug-13 17:17:03

Tired and emotional, OP?

xylem8 Sat 03-Aug-13 17:15:19

Have I got this right? So, the first time they all came round to yours, you served them drink(?)or they brought drink and everyone got pissed , your house got trashed and you didn't like it.Then next time the 2 of them did it without you, and you asked them why?

1)a 5 yr old should know better than to piss over somebody else's lego and let their pets out whether or not they are b eing supervised.Maybe they were acting out, because they were frightened by their mums being drunk (and possibly loud)

2) If you have been involved with it once, I think it is a bit rich to then call them on it.

3) I can understand whu she cried but have absolutely no idea why you had to thank her.

you all sound a bit bonkers to me!

imademarion Sat 03-Aug-13 17:13:49

This entire series of posts is why I no longer drink.

Weed on Lego? What larks.

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