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AIBU?

To think you should stay with a lost child?

140 replies

NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 13:27

So yesterday I took the DC to a local lake/woodland area for a walk. They took bikes and scooters and we've been lots of times always sticking to the man made path around the lake/trees. They go ahead but never too far or out of sight or off the path.

About half way round ds2 scoots ahead and stops outside the playground and cafe area where we were stopping for lunch. He turned around and because this bit is much busier, he couldn't see me. I could see him in the distance but he panicked and started crying.

I saw a lady walking her dog approach him and after about 10 seconds she carried on. I sped up and got to him. I asked him what the dog walker had said' which was to ask him why he was crying, ds2 had said he couldn't see his mum and she'd just said 'oh I'm sure she'll be along in a minute'. Granted I was and he was fine but still... Shouldn't you stay and comfort a lost child?

AIPSB?

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cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 13:32

It wasn't her responsibility and you were "along in a minute" so I think YABU.

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WineNot · 02/08/2013 13:35

I would have stayed with him if he was crying...

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WineNot · 02/08/2013 13:35

Or upset at all....

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ImNotBloody14 · 02/08/2013 13:37

I think if he's a panicker you shouldnt let him go where he cant see you tbh.

She was right- you were along in a minute. She was probably trying to work out whether she was putting herself at risk by staying with him and risking you accusing her of trying to kidnap him.

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livinginwonderland · 02/08/2013 13:38

I would have stayed, but I know a lot of people wouldn't.

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ImNotBloody14 · 02/08/2013 13:38

What age is he btw?

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Vivacia · 02/08/2013 13:38

I always stay with lost children in situations like this.

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PearlyWhites · 02/08/2013 13:38

Cushtie is that what you would tell the police after a child had been abducted?
Op yanbu

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ImNotBloody14 · 02/08/2013 13:39

Why would cushtie be telling the police anything? Confused

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D0oinMeCleanin · 02/08/2013 13:41

I would have stayed, but Cushtie is right, your child is your responsibility not the dog walkers.

Maybe she was in rush or had looked around and spotted you figuring you were on your way to him.

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xylem8 · 02/08/2013 13:41

I think it is a bit rich to not keep your dc under control and then criticise other adults for not taking good enough care of him!

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BackforGood · 02/08/2013 13:42

Whereas I think xylem has a point for this thread, in a general situation if I found a child who was lost then of course I would stay with them / help them do something about it.

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cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 13:44

No PearlyWhites it wouldn't because I would personally stay with a lost child, however, some people wouldn't. I wasn't the lady walking the dog's responsibility to stay with the child. Please don't try to infer that I'm some kind of unfeeling monster thank you very much.

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PeoplesRepublicOfBerkshire · 02/08/2013 13:44

I would have stayed with the child until I was sure the mum was with him.

Couldn't walk away from a crying child Blush.

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DidoTheDodo · 02/08/2013 13:44

I'm in agreement with xylem on this one.
I probably wouldn't stay with a child - but might have alerted the café staff to him.

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FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman · 02/08/2013 13:45

I suppose it depends on his age, I think more people would be inclined to stay with a 3 year old than say a 10 year old. I would have stayed regardless but can see why others wouldn't in certain circumstances.

Glad all was well in the end though.

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NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 13:46

He was 7 last week and you're right he is a bit of a panicker if he can't see me but we are working on that and he really wasn't that far in front but the area just got suddenly busy with people and blocked his view back.

I hardly think that's 'out of control'. I guess I just can't imagine leaving an obviously upset person, adult or child, alone. Yes I could see him and was there very quickly but she wouldn't have known that.

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Viviennemary · 02/08/2013 13:47

A lot of people would have stayed. And I probably would have too. But on the other hand it seems as if he was in a busy area near a cafe. So he wasn't exactly far from help and in the middle of nowhere which would have been different. So I think YABU to be annoyed the walker just left him.

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Twirlyhot · 02/08/2013 13:47

I would stay. I might not approach the child though, just keep an eye from several paces away. People can be very agressive if they see you talking to their child.

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GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 02/08/2013 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mindyourownbusiness · 02/08/2013 13:50

If you were far enough away from him not to be able to relay to the woman by shouting or waving that he was with you , then you were far enough away for someone to have snatched him. If you are worried about that sort of thing don't let him get so far away from you that you couldn't do anything about it. Don't blame the woman either , for all you know she could have kept looking back or have been watching out of sight to make sure he was reunited with his mum.

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MrsCampbellBlack · 02/08/2013 13:50

I'd have stayed but I think people are often wary of approaching upset children nowadays, especially men sadly.

But just think if she had stayed, you'd probably be posting 'some woman was so judgey yesterday because my son couldn't see me for 30 seconds' Wink

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whois · 02/08/2013 13:51

He's seven? I thought you were going to say two or something. Kinda silly he cried about not being able to see you.

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Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 13:51

I think I would have worried that I would further panic the child by talking to him and /or staying with him, because most children have been told "don't talk to strangers" and also many parents are aggressive if you talk to their children (in fact I have been given filthy looks for smiling at a baby). I would, however, have been concerned enough to hang around to make sure that he was joined by a parent/carer.

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cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 13:52

^I'd have stayed but I think people are often wary of approaching upset children nowadays, especially men sadly.

But just think if she had stayed, you'd probably be posting 'some woman was so judgey yesterday because my son couldn't see me for 30 seconds'^

That's more or less what I was thinking but you have articulated it for me :)

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