Woman on bus told me to move seats because she was allergic to my cats. Who was BU?

(135 Posts)
EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 17:38:19

Just in from the vets and rushing to get dinner sorted so shall make this quick-ish.

My kittens had a check up today at the vets. I don't drive, so me and dd took the bus with them in their pet carrier.

A woman was blocking the aisle with her legs out and shopping trolley so i asked if she could please move to let us by. She made a face as she looked at my pet carrier but finally moved and let us sit in the two seats behind her.

Then she starts coughing. After a minute of it, she turned round and informed me she's highly allergic of cats and they cause her breathing difficulties. I apologised and said I'd put them on the floor by my feet instead of on my lap, but she said that would't make any difference. She suggested i find somewhere else to sit.

The bus was unusually busy. There were only two seats left, but they weren't together. One had a dripping wet carrier bag on it (looked like a tub of spilled curry sauce inside) and the other was at the back of the bus between a group of loud (seemed very drunk to me) people playing music and talking about not so nice things...

I told her that dd won't sit on my lap and I needed two seats together so would be staying put.

Next time the bus stopped, she got up to speak to the driver! She didn't even try being quiet. I was mortified. She said that she was struggling to breathe because of my manky cats and that they shouldn't be allowed on public transport. And that her shopping is covered in fur now.

The driver asked her repeatedly to sit down, there's nothing he could do. Then he asked me how much further i was going. I told him still a fair bit, as the vets is in a different town. After another few minutes of arguing, the driver firmly told her to sit down or she'd need to get off.

Everyone was laughing at this point. The people up the back were calling crude things down to me thinking they were hilarious. ("I don't mind your pussy being on board etc etc") blush

Anyway, she sat back down and we set off again. She sat there swearing under her breath and coughing. Three stops later, she got up again and demanded a refund as she had to get off now or else she'd get seriously ill.

I'm not undermining allergies in any way, but what was i supposed to do? The driver said he doesn't do refunds as he doesn't handle the money and she'd have to write to head office. Ten minutes of arguing later, she got off.

I was 20 minutes late for my appointment because of her! Luckily i had a double appointment booked, but it meant the vet had to rush and do two cats in the space of one.

So, dare i ask? Who was BU? Please say it wasn't me. I feel rotten about it already. But i don't know what i could have done differently.

figrus Tue 30-Jul-13 17:59:53

You weren't being unreasonable by staying on the bus. But you were being unmannerly by not moving when she was distressed by your kittens. Poor woman.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:02:07

Swbu. Her allergy, her problem to deal with. It wasn't down to you to move, but her. Imo.

She was BU but I admit, when at the start of an allergic reaction, I'm not exactly in the most reasonable frame of mind and don't see the easy ways out. So I get very, very angry at, for example, the DC doing this/that when really, I should just get out of the situation!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Tue 30-Jul-13 18:03:18

Clearly a stealth boast about having kittens..!

wink

You weren't being unreasonable, she sounds like the kind of person who'd complain about anything and possibly was pissed of by being asked to move so you could get pass.

catsmother Tue 30-Jul-13 18:03:21

But Figrus - the OP had a small child with her too and there were no other two seats next to each other .....

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 18:04:41

Thanks everyone for the replies. I'm just concerned she's gone off home and is having some sort of coughing fit. I also feel bad she had to get off the bus early, lengthening her walk home.

She was sitting in a special seat for elderly/disabled persons so i didn't like to suggest she moved to one of the 'unsavoury' spare seats in case i offended her.

I don't know what i could have done differently though. Dd can't sit alone so i definitely needed two seats together. And the ones i was sitting on were the last ones available.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 18:05:20

Where did you want the op to move too figrus?

The other woman could easily have moved if it was causing her that much distress

Whothefuckfarted Tue 30-Jul-13 18:06:11

Please please please tell me you told HER to move to the spare seats???

YANBU. What a tit she sounds.

Pictures of the kittens or it didn't happen!
grin

figrus Tue 30-Jul-13 18:07:29

I would have stood at the bus at the back with dd and kittens on floor.

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 18:09:20

why should she stand when she doesn't need to? the op was doing nothing wrong. It was the other woman who had the problem, and she was alone so no reason she couldn't move.

You would also wonder why nobody else on the bus offered to swap seats just to keep the peace!

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:10:02

Was it a proper cough, or a person who doesn't like smoking walking past a smoker 'cough'.

expatinscotland Tue 30-Jul-13 18:10:35

YANBU. She was. Ridiculous, too.

deepfriedsage Tue 30-Jul-13 18:13:57

I don't understand how she got fur on her shopping. If you can take pets on the bus she was out of order.

Roshbegosh Tue 30-Jul-13 18:15:21

Princess DD won't sit on your lap? Precious. If the woman has allergies to animals then it was a problem for her and you could have tried to be more sympathetic rather than selfishly upset her given she had paid her fare. Dont know how she made you late, hope there wasn't somewhere she had to be. You, DD and animals could have got off instead.

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 18:16:29

I shall try to upload a wee picture in a minute. smile They're 5 months so quite big-ish.

No, i didn't ask her to move. One seat was covered in curry sauce and the other was sandwiched between the 'pussy' comment-makers. Also, she was sitting in an elderly/disabled person's seat so i didn't want to offend her by suggesting she sit elsewhere.

The back of the bus had people sitting there, Figrus. It's a row of chairs. And i really didn't want to put my dd any closer to them because they were being so noisy and bad mouthed and she was already distressed by them despite being half a bus away.

I definitely would've moved if there was somewhere else to go to, but there wasn't. My only other choice would have been to get off the bus,

ClaraOswald Tue 30-Jul-13 18:18:00

Given that this woman got up on more than one occasion to argue with the driver, I would be doubtful she had as severe an allergy as she was making out.

ALSO, given that she quite obviously lied to the driver, she was out to cause a scene and have it all her own way. Instead the bus driver stayed firm and she ended up looking like a spoilt brat.

pictish Tue 30-Jul-13 18:20:11

Roghbegosh - nah.

expatinscotland Tue 30-Jul-13 18:23:23

I wouldn't have moved at all. Her allergy, her problem.

Dackyduddles Tue 30-Jul-13 18:23:58

If she was allergic as far as I'm concerned the mere fact you were on the bus was enough ie moving seats makes no difference.

She was bu and should take care of her own health first up to and including getting off said bus if required, plainly that's actually what she wanted.

Wonder if it were peanuts would she have stopped you eating chocolate? I think her reaction OTT but and this is a big BUT if genuine then it's down to her to act accordingly. Not you as the person who doesn't know her.

alreadytaken Tue 30-Jul-13 18:24:07

drip feeding information. You forced a woman who was having breathing difficulties to get off a bus after she'd paid her fare because you didn't want to sit next to some people who were being noisy. Is there some reason your child couldn't stand next to your seat/ sit on your lap with the pet carrier at your feet? Why does your dd being distressed by people come before a possibly elderly or disabled womans right to finish her journey?

She should have moved if she could but I'm wondering why she didn't - perhaps she could't manage to move her shopping while struggling to breathe.

Dackyduddles Tue 30-Jul-13 18:24:33

Sorry wanted you to do ie get off the bus

Sirzy Tue 30-Jul-13 18:26:41

her breathing wasn't that bad if she was able to get up and talk to the bus driver for what seems like quite a length of time!

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Tue 30-Jul-13 18:27:37

Roshbegosh - my dd had paid for her ticket, too. So was equally as entitled to her very own seat. And no, she really couldn't have sat on my lap.

And i didn't know when the next bus would be arriving so didn't get off. I didn't want to miss my appointment (although i was 20 minutes late anyway even staying on the bus).

If there was any other available seats together, of course i would have moved.

AnnabelleLee Tue 30-Jul-13 18:28:25

How did she make you 20 mins late? there is no way she could have delayed the bus for that long.
YWBBU.

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