First food!

(49 Posts)

So not sure if I'm being petty today... but dd is just give months old and it was her christening today. We had some people to the house after the service and had a buffet etc. family and friends also brought food. DH's aunt came and also brought her cousin who happened to be visiting at the time (saw no problem at the time even though I didn't know her).

So people are chatting and eating and having a nice time, dd bein passed around, relatives showing her off...and I look round again and long lost cousin has dd on her knee feeding her meringues and whipped cream! I jumped towards her at once. DD is five months old, not quite at weaning stage and breast fed withthe occasional bottle (but that has been a nightmare as she seems to be allergic to something and will only drink soya formula).

According to DH's aunt I was rude to my guest and what was wrong with allowing dd to celebrate?! I explained all of the above and said cousin then informed me that SHE didn't believe in 'any of that nonsense'. I was furious.

Was I being unreasonable? They left soon after. Most of the family know not to give her food - she doesn't need it yet. Her older brother was weaned at 5.5 months, so I know she's not that far away....but meringu and cream for her first taste of food?! Really?!

DoItTooJulia Sat 27-Jul-13 22:56:15

X post, with 5!

It's not about guide lines though is it.

It's about a complete stranger feeding a small baby they have just met. Allergies aside its a choking risk on a baby that isn't ready.

You do not do that. Parents decide the food for babies not long lost cousins or other relatives for that matter.

How hard is it to think- if I feed this she will probably be done or she could be ill or choke. It's a big risk I won't take it.

If she'd posted about feeding a strange cat the op would have a universal yanbu. Yet a small baby and its excused cos "she will be fine" ?

Done? Fine

Oodelaranana Sat 27-Jul-13 23:07:29

YANBU - I'd be fuming. I wouldn't offer a 5 year old food if I hadn't asked the parents first if it were ok let alone a 5 month old.

yanbu at all. I'm not necessarily a big believer in the 6m mark but I'd never feed someone else's kid unless they'd asked me to or OKed it. let alone meringues and cream. and that's without any possible lactose issues!

Whothefuckfarted Sun 28-Jul-13 10:08:23

YANBU.

They should have asked 'Is it okay to give ... to the baby?'

Seeing as they didn't they should most certainly have been apologetic.

'Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think' or along those lines.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sun 28-Jul-13 10:21:19

YANBU I'd be furious.

But why are you giving soy formula? It's not the recommended alternative to milk, especially in under ones.

YANBU they shouldn't have given your DC anything without first checking with you. I hope that your DC hasn't suffered any ill effects, if they have allergies. On the bright side, it was someone you had never met and will never meet again, so who cares if you were rude anyway. wink

maternitart Sun 28-Jul-13 10:36:45

YANBU to be very annoyed with aunt and cousin but try to put it behind you and give baby her first REAL taste yourself. She is fine and that's the most important thing.

My MIL gave my PFB gin & tonic before I started weaning him. I could have got visibly annoyed but decided to let it go.

neunundneunzigluftballons Sun 28-Jul-13 10:45:35

If your M IL really gave your child gin and tonic and you just let it go then you are outrageous. I presume however she pretended to give your child alcohol. Op you are not at all unreasonable I would have been very cross.

maternitart Sun 28-Jul-13 10:48:54

neun she dipped her finger in her g&t and let DS suck it. She thought I wasn't looking.

How did you let that go? Seriously? Alcohol on an unweaned baby. I'd have gone nuts. You don't ever give the ok for someone to decide what to feed your babies. A baby isn't going to feel left out for not having something and the risk of damage is far to high.

neunundneunzigluftballons Sun 28-Jul-13 11:03:42

Materinaltart I would have gone ape shit I cannot believe you just let it go I would have been having really serious words with her.

maternitart Sun 28-Jul-13 12:09:44

I made a PA comment that made it clear I wasn't impressed. She hasn't attempted to do it again.

I'm not good at confrontation and didn't see what "going apeshit" would have achieved except create a horrible atmosphere (we were on holiday at the time) and give her more fuel for labelling me PFB.

neunundneunzigluftballons Sun 28-Jul-13 12:21:01

going ape shit would have taught her that it is not ok to give your pre weaned infant alcohol to entertain herself. That is pretty far off pfb by almost any standard. If going are shit is not for you why at least did you not say - never ever give my baby alcohol again have I made myself clear ? That would have done the trick .

Baby 1 or baby 20, never would it be precious to have put her in her place over that.

If you didn't make a stand about that then she will have thought you wouldnt care about feeding him anything else.

Your a bigger person than I am, that would never have been so politely done with me.

maternitart Sun 28-Jul-13 12:35:25

Yes perhaps you are right. I felt I shouldn't make a big deal of it. No one in her family stands up to her except her SIL who has basically now been ostracised from the family and DH just shrugged.

I feel shit now. sad

Sorry for detailing OP.

neunundneunzigluftballons Sun 28-Jul-13 12:39:56

Ah sorry I don.t mean to make you feel like shit and I should not have but what I was trying to get across is that it is ok on issues like that to take someone on when you child is involved no matter who they are. You mother in law sounds like an ass.

squeakytoy Sun 28-Jul-13 12:40:46

considering gripe water once contained alcohol, and babies dummies were often dipped in alcohol to supposedly help colic etc, a baby sucking a finger that has been dipped in a g & t will not suffer and going "ape shit" would be a bit OTT.

neunundneunzigluftballons Sun 28-Jul-13 12:40:49

You=your

neunundneunzigluftballons Sun 28-Jul-13 12:48:02

Squeaky are you seriously defending any one giving a pre weaned baby a taste of g and t that posters mother in law is a dick for doing that. i can almost understand the mis guided use of brandy and gripe water and put that down to tradition but g and t is just for her own amusement.

It's not about why though is it. It's about people taking it upon themselves to feed babies whatever they like for their own amusement and thinking its ok. It's not. Would've have mattered if it was banana or apple , there's a reason you take it slowly and do one food at a time. Imagine if op had fed her child some banana and a few mins later she reacted. Op would have thought her kid was allergic to bananas avoided them and carried on giving her the food she was really reacting to. The egg or cream. Child is deprived of a healthy food and continues to ba at risk from the real culprit.

There's an easy solution. Mind your own damn business and let the parents feed their own baby

Why? Not about what

KingRollo Sun 28-Jul-13 13:17:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now