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to feel like I have failed because I want to give up on baby led weaning?

(161 Posts)
honeytea Fri 26-Jul-13 10:33:13

Ds is 7 months old and he is doing reaply well with his eating. We waited till 6 months before we offered him food and we have been following blw. He has been eating the same food as us and actually managing to chew strips of chicken and trying lots of vegetables, he hardly ever gaggs and he seems to really enjoy food.

The only problem we have is the mess, I am not the greatest cleaner I have been spending 15-20 minutes aftereeach meal cleaning the highchair, floor, walls, baby, me. Ds can crawl and has just started pulling himself up and cruising around the furniture so I can't just leave him sat on the floor with a toy whilst I clean up anymore.

We are staying at my mums and last night we got back from a day out really late. I bought a pouch of baby food and gave it to ds on a spoon, he ate it with no problem andthe clean up took about 20 seconds.

I feel like I am letting ds down if we give up on blw as he is doing so well, but I don't want to waste quality time with him cleaning up avoidable mess. I like the idea of ds having control of what and how much he eats, I really want to help him develop a healthy relationship with food as its something I have struggled with.

Dackyduddles Tue 30-Jul-13 18:32:34

Op just feed your baby; sometimes spoon/purée and sometimes food ie off your plate etc. just mix the two around as appropriate.

What adult do you know that only eats puréed food?

Chunderella Tue 30-Jul-13 18:31:35

I puree DDs poo.

MiaowTheCat Tue 30-Jul-13 18:29:37

I am sooooo writing the Baby-Led Shitting Handbook.

Sparklingbrook Tue 30-Jul-13 17:51:58

It's just chucking all the food on the high chair tray and letting them get on with it glasto. I did that in 1999 and again in 2002. It has since been given a name it seems.

glastocat Tue 30-Jul-13 17:46:14

This wasnt even invented in my day ( son is eleven). It's just the latest thing, do what works best for you, within safety guidelines. What is it anyway, giving your kid bits of toast or something? grin

bigkidsdidit Tue 30-Jul-13 17:40:57

I find interesting that on MN if there are any studies showing co sleeping might be dangerous hundreds of mumsnetters pick the data apart and read the papers in minute detail and become scientists for te day.

Any data showing negative aspects to weaning after six months is entirely ignored confused

LeBFG Tue 30-Jul-13 17:30:21

We cross posted MrsOak - my comment was to Unique.

Each to their own. But I do chuckle to myself when BLWers insist how easy it is......as they are eliminating salt from all food eaten by the family (and ignoring it when eating out and showing off in restaurants), making porridge bars in the microwave and showering the high chair.

curlycatkin Tue 30-Jul-13 17:20:51

BLW is just the latest 'thing'. Do not get stressed about it, you said your son was happy - what's not to like?
Honestly, I find all this BLW a bit hmm and I'm glad I missed out on it. My DC's are absolutely fine with food.

me again grin

that site i quoted earlier doesn't seem to be the offocial site.

this is
and also
is hers

anyway, the only actual reference on this discussion i've seen was this one, which doesn't link to peer reviewed research, but to an article in the daily fail...
hmm

the study was done with 2000 people - 53out of 2000 developed diabetes.
in the uk, there are 300,000 with the disease.
the study group had 0.025% diabetes. the general populace is 0.5ish%

Oakenshield - mine and Gill's.
you cross-posted, that's all.

poppingin1 Tue 30-Jul-13 15:11:53

And yes, we stopped cooking with salt in our home too.

poppingin1 Tue 30-Jul-13 15:10:36

I did both, don't worry too much about it.

"I think most mothers do a bit of both- and always have done. Footage from remote tribes show mothers putting food into their children's mouths and children exploring food with their own hands. I seemed to have seen the same in nature films about primates. A mixture decided by the mother."

This is very true.

SuedeEffectPochette Tue 30-Jul-13 15:05:55

I am a firm believer that a happy mummy makes happy children. If you like BLW go for it. If mess stresses you spoon feed them till they are at least two then hand over to dry food until they are about seven. No problems! I virtually did (am doing) the latter, but I hate clearing up mess! I watched my friend give her 7 month old lasagne to feed himself (in my kitchen!) and that put me off BLW for ever! To be fair, I have got twins and no time to tidy up!

thefuturesnotourstosee Tue 30-Jul-13 14:56:39

We're doing a mixture of the two.

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT give your BLW baby cous cous EVER

MrsOakenshield Tue 30-Jul-13 14:51:39

LeBGF - is that to me? My beliefs and Unique's? Because I'm querying the assertions Unique is coming out with, that sound exactly like what is written in the Gill Rapley book, and which I'm doubtful about.

daytoday Tue 30-Jul-13 14:37:38

Surely all bloody weaning is baby led? Have you ever tried to get a baby to eat anything it didn't want to?

I find the term so utterly irritating. Like baby led walking, or baby led breathing? Or baby led pooing.

The only key to enjoyable weaning is to try really hard not to get stressed and accept all babies are born with different palates and different appetites. It's a joy to get a child who loves eating but some are just too busy and not tht fussed with food.

LeBFG Tue 30-Jul-13 14:15:31

So your beliefs and hers correspond. They aren't supported by the facts.

To be fair, lots of this advice (no food before 6 months) stems from the WHO guidelines, which were the best advice at the time. The guidelines are 10 years out of date and newer research is pointing to the 4-6m time frame as a good time to start solids.

All the stuff about learning to chew and choking etc is based on zilch. Diddly-squat.

MrsOakenshield Tue 30-Jul-13 14:12:56

I agree with LeBFG - Unique - do you have any research to back up what you are saying? Because it sounds like you are just repeating what's in the Gill Rapley book.

As I said, I gave up on BLW and went on to purees/mushed up food and spoonfeeding. No problem with speech and she could feed herself from aged one. No problem introducing different textures. Perfectly able to regulate her own appetite (is that the right phrase?) Same with most people I know.

People wean their babies in a number of ways, whatever suits both them and their baby. But I don't like these suggestions that if you do it one way and not another, it will result in things like delayed speech and obesity. Show me good, solid, scientific research published in a peer-reviewed journal and I'll give it the time of day. If not - well, it's no different to the bollocks 'Dr' Gillian used to come out with.

i'm not - i'm just stating what Gill Rapley's book says (from what she found)

LeBFG Tue 30-Jul-13 13:51:42

Well, those are your beliefs Unique. I don't think it's a good idea to promote them as facts.

"Plus, most people can't just give bits of mushed up food to their babies because of the salt content"

we don't cook with salt

(part from bread, but it's a tiny amount in a loaf - we do make our own bread bcause we're avoiding soya)

I don't wash with "if you don't introduce solids until 6 months you're more likely to develop allergies"
I just don't believe that can be true.

DD's eczema seems almost certain to be dairy (or soya- the heat means we haven't re-introduced soya because we don't want to mask symptoms), she wasn't given solids until 26 weeks (at 25 weeks, she stole some of my dinner, but she wasn't given it!), but she had eczema possibly from birth (or a precursor to eczema).

sorry for keep posting,...

anyway, DD has never had a puree (with provisos detailed before), but she prefers us to feed her hmm
ie: she will refuse to eat some things until it has been put up to her mouth (when she's feeling lazy)

she's never fed the food this way until she forces us to, but if you leaver her to it, she will sometimes just not eat it.

the easiest way with her is to sit her on my lap and eat my food (plate in front of us both) until she decides she wants it.
then she does the head bop and cranes her neck until she has nabbed the food out of my hand.

not ideal, and probably not BLW, but she thinks it's fun.
(she does eat food without this game as well)

LeBFG i don't agree with your destruction of my reasoning.
i don't believe they're myths.

and i know you wouldn't personally attack me, i'd tell mummy.

so nur.

Treagues - i actually agree with your POV

i don't think pushing purees into a baby's mouth to make sure they eat some prescribed amount of food is right, but that if you allow the baby to dictate, they'll eat what they need (and just focus on the milk until they've worked out that ooh, food takes the hunger away)

that's my POV

don't worry and don't sweat. saying you've given up on BLW and then stressing yourself because you want to spoon feed to make sure they've got enough food going in is insane.
as is the OP's point of giving purees just because it's less messy.

you could always meet halfway. whenever we're worried about something being too messy, we just give DD less messy food.

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