To have confronted this poor excuse for a mother?

(553 Posts)
TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 13:58:12

So I'm sat at work, window open. I hear a commotion outside so get up and look out the window. There is a heavily pregnant woman with two small children - a boy of around 3 and a girl of maybe 4.

She is screaming at the boy .. ' you fucking piece of shit, what the fuck are you doing? ' and ' Come on you little prick ' etc etc.

I shout down ' Don't do that! Don't say that! ' in complete shock. ' Who the fuck are you? Fuck off ' she shouts back.

I then deliberated on what to do. I felt really angry so ran down the stairs onto the street but she had gone into the bank. And then I ground to a halt and couldn't work out what to do.

So did nothing more. I mean, what CAN you do? Only a bit of swearing after all eh? I have no idea what I would have done if I'd managed to confront her anyway.

I detest this, really hate it. If you swear at your children like this, in the street, then you are a shit parent.

Aren't you?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 24-Jul-13 14:00:45

That's awful. I can't imagine what it must do to a child to be screamed at like that.

And I don't think that someone who can scream that at their kids is simply having a bad day and the rest of the time they're mary gloody poppins.
I think the only snapshot you're seeing is a snapshot of that poor kids life.

BrainSurgeon Wed 24-Jul-13 14:01:12

Oh dear hmm

Good on you for telling her to stop.... Even if she had a really bad day, there's no excuse....

TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 14:02:19

Oh and she was not having a bad day or an extreme parenting moment. We ALL have those - Blimey, I've often had to err 'discipline' my two in public over the years!

No, this was just the norm. She was just awful.

I feel so sad about it

sad, I don't know what else you could have done, but it's very sad when you hear things like this.

TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 14:03:52

It is sad isn't it? This was at 10 am ish. I'm still all bothered about it!

Turry Wed 24-Jul-13 14:05:07

Wow. YABU, YABU, YABU! I just wish there was a way of identifying her/ reporting to SS! sad

quesadilla Wed 24-Jul-13 14:05:40

YANBU. Try as I might I can't think of a reason to justify swearing abuse at children. Unless she had extreme PND. But there are just people who don't know any better. Good on you for tackling her, I think I would have resorted to a dirty look.

Turry Wed 24-Jul-13 14:06:53

Oops, MANY apols - by YABU x3, I obviously meant quite the opposite! Doh!

TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 14:07:29

My colleagues were amazed! I ran down two flights of stairs and have absolutely no idea what I intended to actually 'do' once I got down there. I would have asked for her name and address, definitely.

Which is just bloody stupid I know : )

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Wed 24-Jul-13 14:08:13

I wonder about the same thing as my neighbour screams such things as

"You are nothing but a fucking waste of space"

"Why don't you just fuck off you fucking fanny"

And the best one

"For fuck sake, why don't you just go fuck yourself <name of child>"

This is every day to 4 year olds.

TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 14:08:45

I know Turry : )

WHY do these people have kids? This wasn't normal parenting. This wasn't an exasperated mother - or even one at the end of her tether.

She was just horrible. And sadly....having another one.

MrsDeVere Wed 24-Jul-13 14:09:00

She did a shit thing.
It doesn't mean she is a shit parent.
She might be but you can't possibly tell from what you saw.

She shouldn't do it, its horrible but there are hours and hours and hours of her life that you don't see.

Where she could be a loving parent.

Well done for telling her to stop but most people would react in the same way tbh. People don't like being told off in front of their kids and in public. They are likely to react in an aggressive way.

I made a report due to a similar incident a while back. The child's response was heartbreaking. I knew something about the family and I simply reported what I had seen. Made no guesses about what might be going on. I did it through school welfare.

Nancy66 Wed 24-Jul-13 14:09:06

Good for you. You did what you could at the time. I doubt it will make any difference (sadly) but at least you didn't let it pass unnoticed.

TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 14:09:17

yello - I couldn't stand this. Do you phone SS?

TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 14:10:49

MrsD - if I was a betting person, I'd stick my house on the fact that she's a rough, shit parent. The volume, the tone, the look on the kid's faces....

I'm depressed all over again!

ouryve Wed 24-Jul-13 14:12:51

That poor childsad

Yellowsnow - report it. Seriously. You only hear what she's saying, and that's bad enough.

Purple2012 Wed 24-Jul-13 14:13:20

I phoned ss years ago. A neighbour who wasn't that close distance wise was constantly screaming at her kids, both under 4 years. Things like

Get away from me you fucking twat.

You little cunt

And lots of other similar things. There was also crashing and banging along with the kids screaming. I don't know if they were being hit.

So I reported her. I never knew the outcome but I couldn't listen to that and do nothing.

MrsDeVere Wed 24-Jul-13 14:15:47

Fact is you don't know.

And people making assumptions based on very little information can cause untold misery to families who are already coping with awful situations.

I am not disagreeing with you that she shouldn't have spoken to her child in that way. Its horrible. But it really was just a few seconds out of their lives.

You could be right but the chances are equal that you could be wrong.

I wouldn't be depressed about it.

What do people think the SS would do about a child being sworn at in a single incident?

TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 14:18:39

They would do nothing at all. But this doesn't mean that folk should turn a blind eye.

And to try and defend this woman < if anyone feels they need to > is just defending the indefensible. It makes no difference if this is just a few seconds out of an otherwise charmed life. I saw her < shan't describe her as I'd like to as you'll all lynch me and it's probably not vital >, I heard her. This was not the first time, that's for sure.

LookingForwardToMarch Wed 24-Jul-13 14:20:24

That wasn't really just a child 'being sworn at' was it?

A child being sworn at would be an exasperated parent crying 'oh ffs child'.

Which ok, maybe means its a very very bad day and your not a totally shit parent.

But what the op heard sounds like extreme verbal abuse of a small child.

Op no wonder you were sickened. I would have run down those stairs too.

Floggingmolly Wed 24-Jul-13 14:22:38

It doesn't mean she's a shit parent. She might be, but you can't possibly tell from what you saw
Of course you bloody can hmm. No decent parent subjects their toddler to the indignity of hearing "you fucking piece of shit", "you little prick", etc.
That's verbal assault, just like it would be if a stranger screamed it at you in the street.

MrsDeVere Wed 24-Jul-13 14:22:41

I didn't tell you to turn a blind eye.
I am not defending her.

I am just saying that you cannot possibly tell what is going on from a few seconds on the street. You are guessing. You might be right but you might not be.

'This was not the first time, that's for sure'. You think she has done it before. There is no 'sure' about it.

You cannot argue with that. You don't have second sight.

TeddyPickleStick Wed 24-Jul-13 14:22:48

LFTM - Yes, that's it. I don't swear at my kids as hate that too, but it is one thing to say ' Oh FFS child ' and quite another to verbally lay a little boy out.

KFFOREVER Wed 24-Jul-13 14:23:31

You never know ss may already be involved.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now