to have told the child in the supermarket to please stop staring

(210 Posts)
twilighteyes Mon 22-Jul-13 18:34:10

At the self service checkouts, I noticed a little girl (perhaps 7 or 8) looking at me. I had an "unexpected item" so assumed that was why she was looking, but then I became conscious of it and realised she was staring at me! I don't know why, as I wasn't wearing anything unusual and I don't think that I look remarkable, either in a positive or negative way.

As we were going out she was staring again and when I was getting into my car she and her mum (I presume) were getting into the one next to me and she was just staring. It was really making me feel uncomfortable and I said "hi, is there something I can help you with?" Girl turns scarlet, gets into the car and mum drives away. As I drove off she was staring again.

AIBU to think this is really rude? It made me feel really disconcerted (and yes I have checked and my skirt isn't in my pants or anything!)

celticclan Mon 22-Jul-13 18:37:55

YABU. She is only a child and for all you know she could have special needs. It's only staring you need to toughen up a bit.

Solari Mon 22-Jul-13 18:38:14

It could be anything really, maybe she was trying to figure out if you were someone she knew, or just looked a lot like them... or something equally innocent.

Having said that, I have an almost pathological urge to stare right back at someone if I catch them staring at me. No expression, just totally neutral and unblinking (I can go into not-blinking-mode). Get all sorts of different reactions to that one though!

FannyFifer Mon 22-Jul-13 18:39:16

Hands OP a grip.

Seriously, get over yourself.

How old?

Some children stare. I have a starer. No idea why he does it but I to tell him to stop.

You know those kids in restaurants that turn around on their seats and face you? Well he is one of those.

I dont like it either though. I normally pull a face at the kid grin

LalyRawr Mon 22-Jul-13 18:40:17

My daughter stares, and points!

Though she is only 16 months old and I do always apologise to the person if/when I notice it.

She is still a child though, I would have just ignored it.

twilighteyes Mon 22-Jul-13 18:41:35

Of course it was something innocent - I doubt she was eyeing me up wink but being stared at all the way through putting your shopping through, going out of the shop and then getting into your car is a little bit strange. Yes, she could have had special needs but I hardly yelled at her, I just asked if I could help her!

I guess I was just taught it was very rude to stare at people!

Lexiesinclair Mon 22-Jul-13 18:41:37

Would have been fine if she was an adult but she was a little girl fgs. Bloody hell.

GiddyStars Mon 22-Jul-13 18:41:52

YABU as she was 7 or 8. I remember being about this age on a bus and staring out the window (or I thought I was, I was just in a daydream) when an older lady shouted at me for staring at her. I hadn't even noticed her and felt so blush and upset as I was a child who didn't like to be 'naughty'. I stayed with me for ages obviously

If it were an adult then I'm all for 'what are you stating at?' showdowns.

twilighteyes Mon 22-Jul-13 18:42:30

Ah toddlers/pre-schoolers are different of course, I wouldn't mind that! But I do think by seven-ish most children would know that it isn't very pleasant to stare at somebody.

Ragwort Mon 22-Jul-13 18:42:51

Is there something going on about 'staring' today? confused.

Just answered another poster's comment about it.

Why not just smile and say 'hi'?

PoppyWearer Mon 22-Jul-13 18:43:38

Do you wear spectacles? I get a lot of children staring at me because of mine.

XBenedict Mon 22-Jul-13 18:43:55

I think maybe YABU. Just a smile would have been a better alternative, she was only 7 or 8.

Bloody Nora it was a child, hardly anything sinister or to get the heebie jeebies about. Unless she was carrying a chucky doll?

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 22-Jul-13 18:44:31

Giddystars..yes that happened to me too.

It was awful.

DD gets stared at constantly especially if she is in her buggy.

Pretty much every child we see just gawps at her.

I wouldn't say anything but if they are really bad I just stand between DD and staring child.

I would have just.looked away from the girl, OP.

twilighteyes Mon 22-Jul-13 18:45:46

Giddy, but this was a bit different as I didn't shout but asked a polite question (admittedly one with a 'meaning' behind it) and also, it evidently wasn't a daydream sort of stare, it was one that went beyond three different settings (the self-service tills, walking out of the supermarket and then getting into the car.)

I don't think "hi" is THAT much different to "hi, is there something I can help you with?" really, is it?

usualsuspect Mon 22-Jul-13 18:46:38

I think the heat has sent everyone quite mad.

I'm with usual grin

NatashaBee Mon 22-Jul-13 18:47:46

I wouldn't like being stared at either, but I don't think i'd embarrass a child of that age by calling them out on it.

twilighteyes Mon 22-Jul-13 18:47:50

No, no glasses - I honestly can't think of anything I was doing, wearing or anything that was out of the ordinary whatsoever.

I accept I WBU though - I have anxiety, especially social anxiety and it does churn me up when this sort of thing happens. Yes, she's only a child but to be honest that isn't helpful when someone stares, it just makes me feel like crying to be totally honest (and it wasn't a daydreamy stare as I've said.)

ChippingInHopHopHop Mon 22-Jul-13 18:47:56

Be glad you don't have something about you that makes people stare more often.

She's a kid, really, do get a grip.

usual are you stalking me? grin

I wouldn't have asked a child if there was something they could help me with. That's a tad strange.

As I said I own a starer but tbh I think he just goes in to daydream mode

FannyMcNally Mon 22-Jul-13 18:48:19

Agree with other Fanny. Honestly, it's not illegal to stare.

thebody Mon 22-Jul-13 18:48:46

well next time stick your two fingers up!!

she was 7?? here's a grip op.😃

PrettyKitty1986 Mon 22-Jul-13 18:49:03

I would love to have a starer. As opposed to a child who gives a running commentary on everything.

Mummy-are-we-going-to-the-park-oh-my-gosh-mummy-look-at-that-mans-big-belly-mummy-why-does-that-lady-have-a-beard-mummy-WHY?

All very loudly.Yabu if the worst she did was state! At least she didn't list your bad points one by one!

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