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ILs BYOM bbq - AIBU? (Do I win the prize for most acronyms in an AIBU?)

(93 Posts)
ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:37:17

The PiLs are hosting their annual summer family bbq at the weekend. Everyone tends to bring a bottle or two, (which suits me as I'm slimming and am happy to provide my own low calorie wine) and a several of us contribute something which tends to be individual to the invitee, so a godparent always takes a particular salad, someone else lives near a nice bakery so always brings some nice breads etc etc. I usually take a pudding or a cake that travels well as we live some distance away. Plus Mil doesn't buy free range eggs so I would rather bring the pudding so I know its provenance. MiL usually gets in touch the week before to confirm whether we will be bringing said items.

This year however, its 'Bring Your Own Meat' for the BBQ. Apparently they have done a booze cruise so have plenty of alcohol and have said not to bring any at all as their fridges are at capacity. They're always fully stocked with booze cruise spoils anyway, so it's slightly annoying that the intimation is there that where they would ordinarily provide BBQ food, they are now providing the drinks instead. And salads and a pudding.

The same number of close family members are invited as usual (about 25 guests in total) and the ILs are definitely not in any financial difficulty whatsoever, they can however be a bit penny pinching and whinged last year about how much the whole shebang was costing.

I'm not opposed to BYOM per se, we often do it with close local friends for small low-key occasions, but AIBU to think that BYOM is a bit of an unreasonable request in these circs and to feel a bit grumpy about it? It's not a huge inconvenience; we will be travelling for 3 hours so I'll need to bring the cool box, not a major issue, but we'll also have to stock up at the butchers now which I hadn't scheduled between now and the weekend, and I CBA to hover over the BBQ to ensure DP gets his nice farm-assured steak and burgers we've brought before some uncle gets his mits on it. I just think the notion is a bit silly. Added to the annoyance of not being able to bring our own drinks (even if we just keep them in the cool box rather than 'demand' fridge space we will still get raised eyebrows) and pudding.

I'm also hot and bothered and anything would probably get my goat right now. Bah.

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 18-Jul-13 17:40:31

GOY. Or get over yourself. You're looking for issues.

Whothefuckfarted Thu 18-Jul-13 17:41:38

I think YABU to be pissed off enough to write that essay.

I like to take my own meat to a BBQ, I like lamb and steak.

Hmmm, might put the BBQ on now... grin

AngusAndElspethsThistleWhistle Thu 18-Jul-13 17:41:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maja00 Thu 18-Jul-13 17:43:52

Aren't there any supermarkets where your ILs live? Just stop off and buy meat on the way instead of taking it 3 hours.

YABU to get wound up about this though.

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:44:16

Hahah yes fair enough. You're all utterly right. grin

SlimePrincess Thu 18-Jul-13 17:44:59

I think it sounds like a PITA TBH. I'd be very concerned with people trying to steal my naice meats.

YANBU

maja00 Thu 18-Jul-13 17:45:09

Your whole attitude sounds really bizarre actually - you'd bring "special" meat just for you and then hover to ensure only you got to eat it? It's a family BBQ, just bring stuff to share!

JerseySpud Thu 18-Jul-13 17:45:45

i think you are being a pita for no reason and yabvu.

So they are saving you money on booze and you just stop on the way and buy meat hmm

BackforGood Thu 18-Jul-13 17:48:39

Agree with everyone else. Sounds like a fine idea by your ILs to me, and you are being a bit precious with your "own meats"

TheSecretAgent Thu 18-Jul-13 17:49:59

YABU. It sounds like they are just getting on your nerves TBH.

It's once a year, take your farm assured meat and if Great Uncle Chaz gets it and leaves you with his Aldi value burgers, then so be it. Not worth getting worked up over. Have a wine

TheVermiciousKnid Thu 18-Jul-13 17:50:14

Whoa! This is not how AIBU works!

We can't be doing with:

OP: blah, blah, blah - AIBU?
replies: YABU!
OP: Fair enough! grin

What would happen if all AIBU threads were like that! It would be the ruin of AIBU. sad

(YABU btw grin)

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:51:23

I don't eat meat so it wouldn't be a case of 'ensuring only I got to eat it'. We only buy farm assured meat from the local butcher for DH. I don't care if he eats non-farm assured meat at the bbq, that's his choice, (he'd prefer not to but we wouldn't make a fuss) but I won't buy it even to take to share.

We usually DO bring stuff to share, cakes, drinks, crisps and snacks etc.

We're travelling down the night before to stay with friends nearby, and its a bit of a detour when we're already a bit tight for time to go to the supermarket before the BBQ... besides there's only a crappy small one nearby with ropey selection at the best of times - I don't fancy my chances at midday on the hottest day of the year. So I will have to decant the meat into their fridge overnight and re-freeze our ice packs for the cool box etc etc. Tiresome.

kelda Thu 18-Jul-13 17:52:18

'I'd be very concerned with people trying to steal my naice meats.'

oh very good point. I hadn;'t thought of that.

In which case, YANBUsmile

AngusAndElspethsThistleWhistle Thu 18-Jul-13 17:52:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:53:07

Knid grin it's too hot to dig my heels in over something so trivial

TheVermiciousKnid Thu 18-Jul-13 17:54:28

You do realise don't you that you will get a few more pages of outraged YABU! replies. grin

picnicbasketcase Thu 18-Jul-13 17:54:48

I get what you mean about taking nice meat and some other fucker eating it, leaving you with the Tesco value 19p sausages containing 8% pork or whatever. Taking bread/wine/pudding is far less potentially seetheworthy.

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 18-Jul-13 17:54:59

Bring halloumi mushroom and pepper skewers, and salmon fillets, instead of meat. Yum.

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:56:53

<adds seetheworthy to vocabulary>

Knids I face palmed a bit when I remembered the tendency for AIBU fanaticists to only read the first OP. I'm going to be more grumpy than when I started aren't I. sad

Maryz Thu 18-Jul-13 17:57:36

I have no problem with a BYOM bbq as long as you get to actually EYOM.

I have been to the odd bbq where I have brought steak, but ended up eating someone else's cheap burnt leftover sausages because my steak has mysteriously disappeared.

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:58:20

YY on the Halloumi TWinkly although it seems to be more desirable than gold at the minute, can't get hold of the stuff for love nor money in my local Tescos......

picnicbasketcase Thu 18-Jul-13 17:58:30

Oh yes, do that ^ that's a great plan. Halloumi and peppers and corn on the cob etc. Totally shareable, far less expensive and you don't get left with crap.

Maryz Thu 18-Jul-13 17:58:46

And I have no idea how long that window was open confused, but my reply was the op - the rest of the thread wasn't there.

I agree with Kniddy though, this is very disappointing as a rant thread.

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:59:10

EYOM! I LOVE it Maryz

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