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AIBU?

ILs BYOM bbq - AIBU? (Do I win the prize for most acronyms in an AIBU?)

92 replies

ViviPru · 18/07/2013 17:37

The PiLs are hosting their annual summer family bbq at the weekend. Everyone tends to bring a bottle or two, (which suits me as I'm slimming and am happy to provide my own low calorie wine) and a several of us contribute something which tends to be individual to the invitee, so a godparent always takes a particular salad, someone else lives near a nice bakery so always brings some nice breads etc etc. I usually take a pudding or a cake that travels well as we live some distance away. Plus Mil doesn't buy free range eggs so I would rather bring the pudding so I know its provenance. MiL usually gets in touch the week before to confirm whether we will be bringing said items.

This year however, its 'Bring Your Own Meat' for the BBQ. Apparently they have done a booze cruise so have plenty of alcohol and have said not to bring any at all as their fridges are at capacity. They're always fully stocked with booze cruise spoils anyway, so it's slightly annoying that the intimation is there that where they would ordinarily provide BBQ food, they are now providing the drinks instead. And salads and a pudding.

The same number of close family members are invited as usual (about 25 guests in total) and the ILs are definitely not in any financial difficulty whatsoever, they can however be a bit penny pinching and whinged last year about how much the whole shebang was costing.

I'm not opposed to BYOM per se, we often do it with close local friends for small low-key occasions, but AIBU to think that BYOM is a bit of an unreasonable request in these circs and to feel a bit grumpy about it? It's not a huge inconvenience; we will be travelling for 3 hours so I'll need to bring the cool box, not a major issue, but we'll also have to stock up at the butchers now which I hadn't scheduled between now and the weekend, and I CBA to hover over the BBQ to ensure DP gets his nice farm-assured steak and burgers we've brought before some uncle gets his mits on it. I just think the notion is a bit silly. Added to the annoyance of not being able to bring our own drinks (even if we just keep them in the cool box rather than 'demand' fridge space we will still get raised eyebrows) and pudding.

I'm also hot and bothered and anything would probably get my goat right now. Bah.

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Onesleeptillwembley · 18/07/2013 17:40

GOY. Or get over yourself. You're looking for issues.

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Whothefuckfarted · 18/07/2013 17:41

I think YABU to be pissed off enough to write that essay.

I like to take my own meat to a BBQ, I like lamb and steak.

Hmmm, might put the BBQ on now... Grin

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AngusAndElspethsThistleWhistle · 18/07/2013 17:41

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maja00 · 18/07/2013 17:43

Aren't there any supermarkets where your ILs live? Just stop off and buy meat on the way instead of taking it 3 hours.

YABU to get wound up about this though.

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ViviPru · 18/07/2013 17:44

Hahah yes fair enough. You're all utterly right. Grin

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SlimePrincess · 18/07/2013 17:44

I think it sounds like a PITA TBH. I'd be very concerned with people trying to steal my naice meats.

YANBU

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maja00 · 18/07/2013 17:45

Your whole attitude sounds really bizarre actually - you'd bring "special" meat just for you and then hover to ensure only you got to eat it? It's a family BBQ, just bring stuff to share!

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JerseySpud · 18/07/2013 17:45

i think you are being a pita for no reason and yabvu.

So they are saving you money on booze and you just stop on the way and buy meat Hmm

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BackforGood · 18/07/2013 17:48

Agree with everyone else. Sounds like a fine idea by your ILs to me, and you are being a bit precious with your "own meats"

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User838484567 · 18/07/2013 17:49

YABU. It sounds like they are just getting on your nerves TBH.

It's once a year, take your farm assured meat and if Great Uncle Chaz gets it and leaves you with his Aldi value burgers, then so be it. Not worth getting worked up over. Have a Wine

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TheVermiciousKnid · 18/07/2013 17:50

Whoa! This is not how AIBU works!

We can't be doing with:

OP: blah, blah, blah - AIBU?
replies: YABU!
OP: Fair enough! Grin

What would happen if all AIBU threads were like that! It would be the ruin of AIBU. :(

(YABU btw Grin)

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ViviPru · 18/07/2013 17:51

I don't eat meat so it wouldn't be a case of 'ensuring only I got to eat it'. We only buy farm assured meat from the local butcher for DH. I don't care if he eats non-farm assured meat at the bbq, that's his choice, (he'd prefer not to but we wouldn't make a fuss) but I won't buy it even to take to share.

We usually DO bring stuff to share, cakes, drinks, crisps and snacks etc.

We're travelling down the night before to stay with friends nearby, and its a bit of a detour when we're already a bit tight for time to go to the supermarket before the BBQ... besides there's only a crappy small one nearby with ropey selection at the best of times - I don't fancy my chances at midday on the hottest day of the year. So I will have to decant the meat into their fridge overnight and re-freeze our ice packs for the cool box etc etc. Tiresome.

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kelda · 18/07/2013 17:52

'I'd be very concerned with people trying to steal my naice meats.'

oh very good point. I hadn;'t thought of that.

In which case, YANBUSmile

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AngusAndElspethsThistleWhistle · 18/07/2013 17:52

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ViviPru · 18/07/2013 17:53

Knid Grin it's too hot to dig my heels in over something so trivial

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TheVermiciousKnid · 18/07/2013 17:54

You do realise don't you that you will get a few more pages of outraged YABU! replies. Grin

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picnicbasketcase · 18/07/2013 17:54

I get what you mean about taking nice meat and some other fucker eating it, leaving you with the Tesco value 19p sausages containing 8% pork or whatever. Taking bread/wine/pudding is far less potentially seetheworthy.

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TWinklyLittleStar · 18/07/2013 17:54

Bring halloumi mushroom and pepper skewers, and salmon fillets, instead of meat. Yum.

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ViviPru · 18/07/2013 17:56


Knids I face palmed a bit when I remembered the tendency for AIBU fanaticists to only read the first OP. I'm going to be more grumpy than when I started aren't I. Sad
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Maryz · 18/07/2013 17:57

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ViviPru · 18/07/2013 17:58

YY on the Halloumi TWinkly although it seems to be more desirable than gold at the minute, can't get hold of the stuff for love nor money in my local Tescos......

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picnicbasketcase · 18/07/2013 17:58

Oh yes, do that ^ that's a great plan. Halloumi and peppers and corn on the cob etc. Totally shareable, far less expensive and you don't get left with crap.

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Maryz · 18/07/2013 17:58

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ViviPru · 18/07/2013 17:59

EYOM! I LOVE it Maryz

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whois · 18/07/2013 17:59

BYOM, BYOB or bring item requested of you. All much of a muchness :-)

I prefer BYOM or BYOB to take specific item as much less work - just pick something up on the way! But then I'm not entirely concerned with occasional non-free range egg ingestion.

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