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AIBU?

year 6 leavers do/Prom

80 replies

bigteach · 18/07/2013 08:51

Last night I was horrified and pleasantly surprised all at the same time.....depositing my daughter at her year 6 leavers disco, me, looking moderately flustered and slightly shabby from work. my little girl, scrubbed clean and a pretty, long summer dress, favourite shoes and hair usual bunch, with added bow, when looking at the girls crowded round Mr P their fab teacher... Several girls you could tell....had spent hours....having hair done, nails, accessories etc.. but good god.....what were they wearing?...expensive, silk/satin strapless(what have they got to actually hold it up?)AND extremely short ball gowns with 3inch...strappy heels???!! It was something like sex in the City gone Bugsy...WRONG....sooo WRONG!!!
needless to say I stared round to see how many of these unfortunate 'children' there actually were...and breathed a huge sigh of relief....3mmmm possibly 4 the rest of the girls looked pretty much the same as mine....happy excited 11yr olds going to a party, so therefore happy to reflect...the west country has not become so horrifically Americanised yet, though there is a party (privately organised) tomorrow that apparently is going to involve....stretched Limos etc...oh and parents are to attend with their little ones, whether they want to or not......I conveniently lost this invite!

OP posts:
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BoysAreLikeDogs · 18/07/2013 09:38

Why 'children' in inverted commas? They ARE children. You are doing that reverse snobbery thing.

And the....is fkin annoying to read.

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FauxFox · 18/07/2013 09:57

Why do you care? If they are happy what does it matter? It's just a different kind of fancy dress at that age surely? The shoes might be a hazard but s what if they want to dress up an wear make up for one event - it's hardly and every day thing i assume? And if they want to/can afford a limo why not? I bet they have fun in it and surely that's the point? They are children, you are judgey and as for "losing" an invite so your DD can't go to a party with all her friends because you think it will be too frivolous, shame on you Sad

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LindyHemming · 18/07/2013 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 18/07/2013 10:00

What do you want? A huge pat on the back for being a much better parent, and not having a poor unfortunate child who gets a ride in a limo and wears a posh frock on one occassion. Confused

Good for you.

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eccentrica · 18/07/2013 10:04

YANBU.

No idea why you are getting such a slagging off by other posters, unless it's from people who dress their own daughters up like miniature prostitutes WAGS.

It is foul for 10/11 year old girls to go around dressed like that, and no OBVIOUSLY it's not 'fancy dress like any other'. Would it be ok for 5 year olds to be dressed like that then?

The whole thing is rank in the extreme.

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meddie · 18/07/2013 10:06

I dont understand the slagging off of OP either. I see loads of posters complaining about the early sexualisation of girls. OP just expressed the opinion that she was grateful it wasn,t too wide spread there yet

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NettoSuperstar · 18/07/2013 10:07

DD wore a strapless dress and heels, there's a photo on my profile.
She looked lovely, and quite frankly I was impressed that she danced in those heels for over two hours!
She did take sequinned converse to change into, but didn't bother.

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MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 18/07/2013 10:08

My 3yo is currently tottering about in play heels and a silky princess dress. Guess there is no hope for her.

You have problems if you think an 11yo playing at being a grown up on one important occassion in their life means they are dressed as a prostitute ecc It would never occour to me to think of a child in that way, your comment says far more about you I'm afraid.

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FauxFox · 18/07/2013 10:24

agree with missy

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cls77 · 18/07/2013 10:31

I agree with the OP as my DD had her Yr 6 Prom last Friday. Yes we went to the hairdressers to have a treat but the dress had straps, and was pretty but an 11 year olds dress. It may sound petty but these are children, and there is a difference between dressing up and making an effort to thinking you are much older than you are, it was quite simply embarrassing! BHS are certainly on the band wagon as every single one of their range were very short satin strapless dresses, its the trend to tart yourself up 5-10 yrs older than you should apparently!!

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Remotecontrolduck · 18/07/2013 10:33

Calm down. They looked like kids I bet, even with strapless dresses and heels.

It was just for a prom. I doubt they go around in 3 inch heels themselves every day. Your DDs outfit sounded very nice, but within the next year she'll probably want to wear similar things.

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 18/07/2013 10:36

I wonder, as an aside, why folk chose words like tart prostitute WA

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 18/07/2013 10:36

WAG to describe girls' attire.

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Thymeout · 18/07/2013 10:36

It's not fancy dress. What were they dressing up as??? Strapless, heels, makeup all have a sexual connotation. A 3 yr old tottering around in her mother's heels is quite different. These clothes were bought for the occasion.

These were 10/11 yr olds. I agree with Meddie. We can't have it both ways.

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MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 18/07/2013 10:47

Sexual connotation? When an 11 year old child is wearing them?

Really Confused

I see it as no different to a 3yo playing dress up tbh. They are making a huge step and feel like they are so grown up and want to act it for one night, its their last night, until they leave secondry school, of them being the big fish in a little pond, after summer they will be the little fish in a big pond. So what if they want to spend one evening being a 'grown up'.

I am shocked people are using words like prostitute and tart and sexual when talking about a child.

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Dontletthemgetyoudown · 18/07/2013 10:51

its leaving junior school, not leaving school forever. This whole prom business for year 6 annoys me.

Ds2 is yr 6 leaver and the school are having a bbq and a small disco, some of the parents (coincidentally or not all parents of girls) are up in arms about it as they have spent £50/60/70 on a dress and have hair and make up appointments booked, and spray tans and nails the day before! They wanted to book limos and photographers and have a full on sit down meal with a ball/live band after.

The school vetoed it, which I am glad of and the small scale disco and bbq is significant enough as an event to mark leaving primary school. They have many many years of getting dressed up and attending proms/balls why start so young?

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NettoSuperstar · 18/07/2013 10:52

Jeez, such awful words to describe 11yr olds who want to dress up.
DD has not worn heels before or since that night, she's currently in ripped jeans, a t-shirt and converse, totally appropriate for today's activities of an eye test and supermarket trip.
The outfit she wore for her leavers party was appropriate for that too, and she did not look like a tart or prostitute Hmm

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Dontletthemgetyoudown · 18/07/2013 10:53

fwiw, I wouldn't ever say that an 11 yr old was dressed to look like a tart/prostitute etc but would say that they were dressed too old for their age.

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PatsyAndEddy · 18/07/2013 10:56

I think the whole thing is dismal.

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Lancelottie · 18/07/2013 10:59

Goodness.

As far as I know, ours are having party games, a disco and a pizza.

We are clearly behind the times.

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ReallyTired · 18/07/2013 11:00

My son had his prom last night and most of the boys had a hair cut and they wore a tie and smart trousers. The girls wore pretty dresses and some of them wore make up.

I thought that all the children looked beautiful and so grown up. Sometimes its nice to make a bit of an effort.

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NettoSuperstar · 18/07/2013 11:01

There were no limos at DD's school, just parents own cars. It was a disco in the function room of a local hotel with a sandwich buffet. It cost £3.
I spent £110 on the outfit, I've worn the dress twice since, and once before, we've both worn the Converse, we love them, and the heels she ended up wearing were mine from ages ago.
Oh, and I spent £4 on some jewellery from Superdrug.

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NettoSuperstar · 18/07/2013 11:03

No make up for DD either, just nail varnish, entirely her choice.

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exoticfruits · 18/07/2013 11:07

YANBU.
It is so sad for the children - when the get to the age of the school prom there is nothing new- they have done it all before.
Function and clothes should be age appropriate IMO.

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exoticfruits · 18/07/2013 11:09

I am glad that mine left primary school well before this type of thing happened. I think parents should fight it before it becomes the norm.
The leavers disco is fine.

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