My sons go to one of the best secondary schools in the city. My eldest is doing very well there whilst my youngest is just being a pain in the arse. He has made no progress in most of his subjects, has actually gone down two grades in maths and all of his effort grades are between c (moderate effort) and d (making very little effort).
His behaviour is terrible and he has been on and off 'report' since he started year 7 last September. He has a list of 'offences' against him including shop lifting from the tesco opposite the school, numerous incidents of fighting, cheeking teachers, low level damage to the new school building, throwing his planner over the balcony and is constantly disrupting lessons and getting chucked out. Last week it all came to a head when he was caught on CCTV being involved in the bullying of another boy. Upon further questioning it emerged that DS has been involved in bullying this kid (volatile lad who erupts if pushed - much to ammusement of the other lads) for over 5 months. So he was put in isolation - he even played up in isolation. I was called into the school and we spoke to head of year and head of lower school - as a result he was allowed back to normal lessons but put on a red report (final report before isolation). His report came back on Friday saying he was silly in lessons and terribly behaved in two subjects.
I've just had a phone call now to say he'd been really naughty in maths lesson, got into a black pen marker fight with another kid (so they're now both covered in marker pen) and when the other kid bent down to pick up the pen off the floor, DS went to kick him in the head. Then denied it despite being seen by the teacher.
Now - we recently moved house so no longer even live near this school. It is a 45 minute bus ride away (when he decides to actually turn up on time). Due to the move, we are now much closer to another secondary school (it's literally around the corner) and whilst it suffers with a terrible past reputation it has recently been rebuilt and restaffed and is improving rapidly.
I have threatened ds that if he can't behave at his current school, he'll be moved to this one. He's adamant that he doesnt want to change schools.
Would it be wrong of me to make this decision anyway and send him to the local school?
AIBU?
To move DS to a different secondary school against his wishes?
SlugBotherer · 15/07/2013 15:57
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Could he be high functioning but on the autism spectrum? From what you've said I think I might be asking for second opinions in that regard.
why do people all was assume there is a SN cause why children cant wont learn at school? 
My DD1started playing up in year 8 in her secondary school. she said she cant help herself mess about and join in when her mates where mucking about 
then there was an incident when she was staying at her friends and I had a weird urge to phone her and discovered after hearing her very suspicious voice her and her friends were sampling a bottle of cider!
Started proceedings to move her school the following Monday morning and never looked back.
It was the best thing we both ever did, knuckeled down and found herself some new friends, college wasn't for her but she walked in to a fantastic job.
On one hand everyone is saying 'ooh he might have HFA' and then saying 'Move his school' 
Transitions are often the flash point for poor behaviours for children / YP on the spectrum - whether it's from a task to another task in a class or from class to class or from school to school - transitions are significantly anxiety producing which in turns causes the poor behaviour.
Personally (& been here) I think a knee jerk reaction move would be a bad idea... You need a meeting with school and referral to CAMHS ASAP, he needs a risk assessment and behaviour management plan... If school don't support THEN think about moving him but look at a managed move do you can some control at managing the transition and the new school knowing what they are getting.
I have a 9yr old version tho diagnosed HFA - moved from 1st school knee jerk and from 2nd for specialist provision in current school and after exhausting every avenue.
If school won't refer to CAMHS then go to GP... Sorry but I am bit that he has gone to kick someone in the head and he's not been excluded nor has anyone thought to refer on - he's a significant risk to others and the behaviour is clearly escalating... It may be end of term (I know that one too well) or just the onslaught that secondary education brings but whatever it is you need to start working with school ASAP.
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