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Oh joy, it's another Teacher's Present thread!

(96 Posts)
DrSeuss Sun 14-Jul-13 09:41:44

So, I stupidly said I'd do the collection. I informed parents via slips in book bags, no sum was mentioned. I deliberately kept no record of who donated and how much, that's up to the individual. Our catchment is very mixed and I don't want to know people's financial situation. Some gave a lot, some a little, some didn't give. My way of collecting was just to stand in the playground twice a day as usual, never asked anyone directly for money. So far, so what, right?
Except that two mums now want a card attached to the present, listing who donated. One says it is "important" that the teacher knows who gave. Er, why? We are buying a gift to say thanks for being a great teacher, not for a pat on the head!
Abui to just send the gift with a card saying, "From the families of your Y6 students"?

DrSeuss Fri 19-Jul-13 17:44:44

Thanks, Exotic!

exoticfruits Fri 19-Jul-13 16:47:05

Game, set and match to you DrSeuss- well done!

namechangeforaclue Fri 19-Jul-13 10:13:02

Yanbu
Ignore glory seeking bitches

ElizabethHornswoggle Fri 19-Jul-13 09:54:50

Not read all the replies, but just wanted to say YADNBU. Tell them to get lost.
Why the f* does it matter who donated what and how much?
None of their business.
I can't stand all this stupid bloody competitive present giving that seems to be the norm nowadays.

DrSeuss Fri 19-Jul-13 09:23:33

So, the present was handed over, by two kids I chose because they are both really shy and never get picked. Not my child, I hasten to add! Hatchet faces were worn by some. A general gift tag went on the present, the Two Musketeers chose to have people write in a card if they had donated. They asked people themselves, I refused to give any list.

viewwitharoom Tue 16-Jul-13 06:48:00

Not the norm here and we are further north, but it wont ever be the norm in this house as I stated earlier.

In my school (secondary) it is more common to get a card and tin of sweets for all the staff which go in the staffroom. Sometimes this even happens a few years later, like after a former pupil has graduated.

DrSeuss Tue 16-Jul-13 06:34:37

Regional? Up here in the beautiful North East, most send a little something to primary teachers.

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 23:50:16

Well I think we agreed earlier that it is probably a region thing Exotic! Presents here are still a rarity, and generally only happen for the Reception teacher by first timers! The rest of the teachers must get very pissed off with her on the last day grin

thebody Mon 15-Jul-13 23:22:41

I am a TA too and I would be happy with a hug.

never get involved with competitive giving.

get your kid to make a card if they want to and that's fine.

ladymariner Mon 15-Jul-13 23:16:24

I'm a TA and occasionally I get a little gift at the end of term, a bunch of flowers or a bat of chocolate, and I've always written and posted a thankyou note. I usually put some of those sparkly confetti smiley faces in the envelope too.
I have just been with a little girl whose elder brother came through school a couple of years ago. He was a bit of a handful and I spent a fair amount of time and effort with him, and we had quite a rapport going on. On the last day of term he mooched up, shoved a gift in front of me, gave me a hug and slotted off. I sent him a thankyou note as usual. His little sister told me he still has that card on his chest of drawers.

Op I think YANBU, those women should be ashamed of themselves. A gift isn't about the value, it's the thought behind it and would anybody seriously be happy with themselves leaving some children's names off a card?

exoticfruits Mon 15-Jul-13 23:04:41

That is going back a long, long way- I am old enough to have taught many posters on here and I got presents way back then!

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 22:55:19

It used to be even simpler Exotic with a "Thank you" when you picked them up on the last day.

exoticfruits Mon 15-Jul-13 21:53:47

It always used to be quite simple with a few chocolates, flowers etc.
I think it must be embarrassing to get expensive whole class presents.

ilovesooty Mon 15-Jul-13 21:12:34

Most professions are not allowed to accept personal gift. I don't know why it seem acceptable to promote the buying of gifts for this profession!!!

Agreed - and I speak as a former teacher. Little personal gestures - such as a verbal thank you or a home made card - from the pupils mean the most anyway. This whole situation regarding present giving seems to have got way out of hand - and I still think it has ethical implications.

My children do not give their teachers presents or even cards but they do say thank you especially after any extra activities which I know have taken extra time etc from the staff. I know from experience that this simplest way to show appreciation is becoming rarer all the time

Well said.

phantomnamechanger Mon 15-Jul-13 20:23:57

*when the collecting mum had gotten everyone's signature on the card, she wrote in large capitals on the envelope -
"from everyone in Class x, except Charlie"* what a cow!!!!!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee Mon 15-Jul-13 19:32:03

It's got nothing to do with money who gave what
Its about the kids
Why should child feel different if their parent didnt give a donation
Why can't people see the bigger picture
These are kids they all just want to be the same as their peers.

Floggingmolly Mon 15-Jul-13 19:04:44

It'll be exposed either way though, Bogey, won't it?

Floggingmolly Mon 15-Jul-13 19:02:55

I think I've posted this before; but when ds1 was in Reception they had a class collection, and everyone donated the suggested amount except one mum who refused to give anything as she disliked the teacher.
Fair enough, except that when the collecting mum had gotten everyone's signature on the card, she wrote in large capitals on the envelope -
"from everyone in Class x, except Charlie" hmm
No one knew until it was presented to the teacher, and it left a pretty vile taste in most people's mouth, including, sadly, the teacher's who's gift it was.

Bogeyface Mon 15-Jul-13 18:57:17

No, the point is Flogging that she will realise that despite her own beliefs, she gave one of the smallest amounts so will feel very very foolish for making a big deal out of it. Clearly she thinks she has been very generous!

Floggingmolly Mon 15-Jul-13 18:52:07

Some people are suggesting listing the donations in amount order, with the largest first. Why would that make pushy mum's head explode?
Giving the actual amounts will make it pretty obvious to everyone, including the teacher, exactly who gave what. Isn't that the point? confused.

DrSeuss Mon 15-Jul-13 18:38:04

Thank you all for making me feel I am the sensible one here!
I am currently fighting the feeling that the gift is now a little tainted. I have always loved picking presents for people and have been told I'm quite good at it. I chose something I thought was special for a teacher who is emigrating and was excited about the handover, which I pictured taking place first thing on the last day so that the parcel could be undone and all the bits examined with the kids. It's for use post move and I pictured the kids getting emails with pictures of life overseas, featuring the present in use. I know all this will still happen but somehow it has had the shine taken off it. I know I am being over sensitive.

viewwitharoom Mon 15-Jul-13 11:22:59

I would really like to think that there is no expectation from a teacher regarding end of year or leaving presents but you are right that there is some trade in cards and gifts these days.
I have had cards and small gifts from classes and individual pupils over the years but certainly nothing on the lines of gift vouchers/spa days as is mentioned in other threads. Expensive gifts like this make me feel uncomfortable and lead to situations where families feel obligated etc etc
If you really want to show appreciation then really a thank you is sufficient whether in a card or said face to face.
My children do not give their teachers presents or even cards but they do say thank you especially after any extra activities which I know have taken extra time etc from the staff. I know from experience that this simplest way to show appreciation is becoming rarer all the time.

WentOnABearHunt Mon 15-Jul-13 10:40:33

There is a collection going on at my child's school at them moment for a class teacher who is leaving the school at the end of term, organized by another member of staff. I feel genuinely miffed that the children have been asked to contribute to this collection!!! A staff member is leaving... staff should do a collection... perhaps I just have a very strange opinion!

I didn't send a card or present last year (my child's reception year) and i was gobsmaked at the fact that nearly every single child rocked up with a card and present for their teacher. This never happened when i was in school! I just dont understand it. Fair enough if that teacher was AMAZING etc etc... but its seems mandatory and expected. Tesco and card shops are full of teacher cards and presents (complete marketing con to get you to spend money).

Most professions are not allowed to accept personal gift. I don't know why it seem acceptable to promote the buying of gifts for this profession!!!

musicposy Mon 15-Jul-13 08:33:55

I'm a teacher. I would NOT want it pointed out to me who gave and who didn't. I would find it very uncomfortable having a card or present with only some names on. I can guarantee you there will be some children in the class with terrible circumstances only I know about whose parents could or would never give. I would want to thank the class as a whole because the same children will have been left out all through primary.
A present as a thank you is a lovely thought but saying who donated is crass, unnecessary and just snobbery.

exoticfruits Mon 15-Jul-13 08:29:42

I think that I must be missing the point( thankfully never having had one) but I thought the collection was for the children to give a present from the whole class and it would be the children who signed the card? Therefore it seems petty to miss a child out because the parent didn't contribute. If you simply pass a collection tin around and have no idea who put in and get the children to sign there is no problem.

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