DP and I have a 9 week old baby and since she's been born he's always said 'if you need me to do anything, just ask and ill do it. I'm happy to do anything but please ask'. I didn't for a very long time because I find it really difficult to ask for help but eventually caved and have sometimes recently asked for him to get up to change the baby before I feed her in the night (it takes me a VERY long time to actually go from waking up to being able to get out of bed so if he changes her it means I can take the couple of minutes to do this without her being upset). At first I was loathe to do it because I thought 'why should two people be woken instead if one' but DP insisted he would like to be woken to do this sort of thing.
All was okay for a couple of weeks but recently he's started to make quite passive aggressive comments when doing things. Just now he got up to change the baby's nappy and as he went back through to the bedroom after giving her to me said 'I'd just gone back to sleep'. To which I said 'sorry, you're right I shouldn't have woken you'. He got quite stroppy then and said he should be able to voice his opinion without it bring seen as an attack. But I don't understand why that sort of statement needs to be said unless he's essentially doing it to say 'look at this work I'm doing' iykwim? It happens with other things (he went through to make dinner last night but before he did he made a point of telling me how he'd need to clean the whole kitchen before going ahead. When I asked what needed to be done bec ause I'd just cleaned he said 'oh move the iron!' )
Sorry this is so garbly. I'm not sure if I'm being over sensitive or if I should just be bloody grateful he's doing these things so should just put up with the 'martyr me' comments as he does them?
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To think he should either get up or shut up?
24 replies
weeblueberry · 13/07/2013 06:21
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