Oh dear think was a bit unreasonable but now not sure if I should apologise??

(93 Posts)

Last night neighbours across the road from us (very quiet little street) were working on their classic motorbike and revving it really loudly. Obviously windows open due to weather and this is about 20yards from our bedroom windows. We live in a bungalow and it was so loud you couldn't hear the tv at normal volume etc. It was past 7pm and we have 2 dc's. At about 7.30ish DH went out and asked how long they would be as it was keeping DS1 awake (2 1/2), they said sorry mate, we'll stop. Anyway they carried on for another half hour so at 8 I went out and politely asked them to stop revving the motor as Ds1 was upset and tired and Ds2 (5 weeks) was screaming by now. they said sure but lo and behold within 10 mins started again. Got to about 9pm and I lost it.
I stormed out the house (in my nightie I must add!) and shouted that if they didn't stop revving the f**** engine I would wrap it round their f**** necks!
They looked very shocked and stopped, I stormed back into house.

Now I don't think I was BU in asking them to be quieter late in the evening in a family area. However I never, ever swear!! DH was really shocked as he has never heard me shout or swear - I just lost it and for that I think I was BU. In my defence I have a 5 week old baby and DS1 was really upset so I was very mad but still..... should I apologise? They are our neighbours and though we don't really have a relationship with them I don't want animosity??

Chottie Wed 10-Jul-13 20:46:24

I can understand where you are coming from. I would go round with a bottle of wine or some beers and apologise, admit I lost it and explain about having a toddler and a newborn and how everyone is really tired.

Don't let a situation develop, life's short and you all live close together. Most people are reasonable if you explain.

pictish Wed 10-Jul-13 20:47:02

Ach - I wouldn't overly worry tbh. You had asked nicely and they had agreed to stop, so it wouldn't have come as a complete surprise.

Stick a big bar of Dairy Milk through the letter box with a post-it on it saying 'no hard feelings?'

notanyanymore Wed 10-Jul-13 20:48:50

Haha I did that when dd1 was a baby. Spoke to the chap and appologised about 3 years later, he didn't mind! (I also once ran out into the garden shouting and shaking my fist at a RAF jet, oh the shame blush )

TheCutOfYourJib Wed 10-Jul-13 20:49:44

No you weren't being unreasonable at all. I would have done the same.
I can't believe you had been out twice before, asked nicely and they still didn't stop.
Why did they say yes and then carry on?
Revving motorbikes is a horrible noise and I don't think you should apologise, they should.

ArtexMonkey Wed 10-Jul-13 20:51:25

I think sometimes when people are taking the piss, it doesn't hurt for them to see exactly how much they are upsetting you or pissing you off. It really doesn't. But otoh losing your temper etc is not good either, but PERFECTLY understandable under the circs. I think if you reach out it will give them the opportunity to say sorry too, then you'll be all peace n love again.

notanyanymore Wed 10-Jul-13 20:51:59

Really? People would by them presents because they acted like total dicks and finally got told to shut the fuck up?? I never knew I was such a bitch until i started reading MN.

Lizzylou Wed 10-Jul-13 20:52:50

Yanbu!
I was wicked witch with some people when ds' s were small. Sleep is important!
Well done, they were totally out of order.

MyHumpsMyLovelyBabyBumps Wed 10-Jul-13 20:52:58

She should bring wine and sweets? confused for what ? Them lying to her and waking up a 5 week old? Theyre lucky that's all they got

maddening Wed 10-Jul-13 20:53:19

I wouldn't apologise, they should be apologising!

Brilliant, grin you probably scared the shit outta them, one hormonal raging woman in her nightie, I'd have run indoors if I was them.
Don't apologize, they were being idiots, just smile and wave or say hi each time you see them like nothing happened.

pictish Wed 10-Jul-13 20:53:50

Well I'd rather not have awkwardness with neighbours. Is no biggy.

ThePowerof3 Wed 10-Jul-13 20:55:04

They probably knew they were taking the piss after all you asked nicely twice, I'd say you were unreasonable if you ran out there straight of the bat shouting the odds but you didn't. I wouldn't worry about it

Pixieonthemoor Wed 10-Jul-13 20:55:50

Apologise?? Hell no!! If you had stormed over and yelled/sworn with no notice then you would be U. But you asked politely and nicely TWICE!! Frankly they should be apologising to you! Tosspots.

3boys3dogshelp Wed 10-Jul-13 20:55:50

I've been there op! I completely lost it with my (lovely) mil when she rang to see how I was and woke the baby. Ds1 was about 6 weeks old and really unsettled, I'd finally got him to sleep after a marathon walk with the pram and parked him next to the phone. How she was supposed to know that from 200 miles away I have no idea!!
I would apologise for swearing but be careful not to go too far - baby or not 9pm is very late to be revving engines on a residential street - you don't want them to blame it all on you.

Pimpf Wed 10-Jul-13 20:58:21

No way should you apologise! They should apologies to you.

But I would make sure that next time you see them you smile and say hi and keep being friendly towards them. If you apologise they may think your a push over and start up again, they def don't think that of you ow - well done you

badfaketan Wed 10-Jul-13 20:59:23

YANBU.
It's the kind of thing I might have done with a 5 week old.
However,I would still apologise for losing it with them.
My neighbour yelled at me about a parking thing once,something like a workman at my house blocking him in.I think he was right but I was pregnant at the time and he upset me.He apologised a few days later and I respect him for that.

You could possibly apologise for swearing, nothing else!

notanyanymore Wed 10-Jul-13 21:02:16

I know what you mean pictish I just think people don't deserve gifts for being unreasonable in the first place. Its a fair point though, OP when you next see them maybe take the opportunity then to say 'sorry for running out screaming at you the other night, my baby and son had been upset for hours by all the noise and it had all got a bit much.'

I'd apologise as well, take a bottle of wine and invite yourself to join them! grin. No hard feelings all round and the scare will have done them good. In a few years you'll all have a good laugh about it.

I feel I should apologise for the shouting and swearing but I should politely be clear that their actions were upsetting my children and hence me,
I hate conflict and leaving things uncomfortable.
I came back in the house last night and burst into tears!! Hormones definitely still awry!!

ThePowerof3 Wed 10-Jul-13 21:04:32

My DM recalls me glaring at her for turning the pages of a newspaper over when DD1 was born!

HenriettaPye Wed 10-Jul-13 21:05:06

There's no way I would be sending wine or chocolate over confusedconfused

Nor would I be apologising!! They were totally in the wrong. Ok maybe swearing at them was a bit much but IMO it was justified!

MissStrawberry Wed 10-Jul-13 21:07:31

notanymore has the best idea I think.

YWNBU btw.

twinklyfingers Wed 10-Jul-13 21:08:46

No don't apologise. I don't think you were bu in losing it either, they lied twice and kept your dcs awake.

Next time you see them smile and shout hello and be as sweet as pie. By the sounds of them they'll just go along with that. But they will forever know that the lovely woman next door has the potential to go ape if the mess her about!

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