Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

Sleep-over for DS (14) am I?

(84 Posts)
Feminine Wed 10-Jul-13 14:59:39

I'm wondering....

DS (14) would like to go to a sleep-over with some 'male' friends for his mates 14th Birthday party! It will be in a tent in the garden apparently?

Anyway, I'd like to say "no"

I don't know the friend, or his family. I don't know if one of the kids will smuggle in alcohol. Too many unknowns for me really.

I don't want to stop him from having fun....but I'm sure those of you with teens can read between the lines here.

Normally he is a sensible boy. normally grin

loopylou6 Thu 11-Jul-13 10:39:11

My ds is 14, I think I would be uncomfortable with this situation.

Sorry, not helpful I know.

My DS is 15 and we have had some real horror stories from parents who haven't checked on where they are. I would allow him to go, I would allow him to go and play hide and seek in the dark (known as Manhunt round here!), but he would also be give strict rules and I would have to trust him to abide by them. Limited alcohol, parents must be contactable and they must be able to contact me (phones are quite easily lost when playing hide and seek in the dark, I should know! grin), at least one friend must also have my number saved on their phone in case of emergency (my 15yo is quite likely to break a leg jumping out of a tree!), parents must be at home (NOT a given by any stretch of imagination), and a time to back at the tent/ in the garden (happy for mine to be out until midnight - not causing trouble/ in a residential area making a noise, but NOT happy for him to out until 3). Do you trust him? If so show him. I made a deal with mine, I will trust them unless/ until such a time as they prove me wrong, then they deal with the consequences. I hope he has a great time, and that you manage to get some sleep wine

SJaneS Thu 11-Jul-13 11:39:52

Hi Feminine

If you're still reading replies then sorry, but I do think you've reason to be concerned..or at least to look into it further. My own experience of my eldest (now 18) going to a camp out was that she came back very drunk and some poor soul had passed out in his own sick and had been urinated on (lovely!). My sister let her teenage children have a camp out party in their back field last month - lots of alcohol was involved and some bright spark threw a petrol canister on the fire causing an explosion. One kid had lost his clothes and I-phone and his mate had thrown them on the fire as well.

The key thing is to speak to the parents and find out how many kids are going. If it's a really small number, impossible to gatecrash and the parents plan to go out regularly then it may be ok. As you know though, you may stop him going to this thing but it's completely impossible to police them all the time and they will and do experiment much as we did back in our days!

Feminine Thu 11-Jul-13 12:32:12

Thank you just and jane

It looks like there will only be 4 boys attending...hmm I just don't know?

We will drop him off, the village is next to ours....so not too far away.

I'll try to find his parents. I've seen the birthday boy on FB also, looks like a normal family grin

The sleepover is Friday, so I've one more evening to get more and final details.

Thanks again.

Just the four boys? I really think you should relax and let him go. It's a village, there are lots of disadvantages to being rural and one of the few advantages is the safety. Playing hide and seek in the dark will be really fun and you know he won't want to do that in another year or so.

Feminine Thu 11-Jul-13 19:23:32

smile yes, just the four. We have decided to let him go, and we have warned him not to let us down!

marriedinwhiteagain Thu 11-Jul-13 20:40:50

I hope he has a great time. Just a thought does the school/PTA not circulate class lists with addresses/phone no's,, emails on them?

marriedinwhiteagain Thu 11-Jul-13 20:43:09

We live in London but I still know someone through someone to do a double check in these circs. I've even met mums on mnet I've never met in RL whose DC know my DC!! My DC have chums going back to NCT groups with whom they go to school!!

Feminine Fri 12-Jul-13 09:50:46

Apparently this Birthday boy is new to the area/school.

As we are dropping him off, I'll at least have a contact point if I need to.

married you have sometimes mentioned things in your posts , that make me think I might have seen you IRL at some point!

Thanks for your help over the past couple of days...smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now