To think addressing your unborn child/newborn baby/child who can't read on fb is strange?

(106 Posts)

I'm new to FB. I was weak and gave into family and friend pressure to have an account for events and groups I belong to. I find many elements totally bizarre (outright racism, sexism and general twattery) but try to steer clear/defriend members who partake in that behaviour. What I can't escape us generally level headed, normally sound friends or family who address their offspring (born and unborn) as a status e.g today someone directly addressed their one year old saying 'Happy Birthday X, one year today since you let up our lives. We love you the world over blah blah blah'

Is this a new custom? I haven't addressed the Gertrude clan when its their birthday unless 2. They can read 2. They have a FB account. AIBU to find these status' odd or us it very normal?

cerealqueen Fri 12-Jul-13 10:02:58

I wish there was a like button for that comment Fuzzysnout!

exoticfruits Wed 10-Jul-13 06:38:11

These posts about 'FB being garbage'- 'self indulgent posts' etc always make me smile. It isn't FB - it is the people you choose to have as 'friends'- quite clearly they are not friends! Prune it down to real friends- lots of people have more than a hundred and probably don't have the remotest interest in the majority of them.

Fuzzysnout Tue 09-Jul-13 22:08:36

After the cryptic posters, the most pointless are those who post those stupid pictures / memes about how wonderful it is to have a daughter & put 'share if you love your daughter'. Always gives me the rage - who doesn't love their kids FFS & if you want to declare your love for them, bloody well tell them, don't copy some pointless shite from fb.

FunkyNails Tue 09-Jul-13 21:16:52

YANBU I have a friend who has set up pages for her kids (with fake birthdays obv) she will check in with photos our day at the beach then tag her DDs 2 and 10 weeks! That seems odd but to be fair sometimes nice to see and certainly not the most annoying of offensive thing I
I have seen on Facebook. The one that annoys me is people posting football comments Come On my team" like oh yeah they'll win now you posted that I don't mind if its along the lines of discussing the game and starting an actual conversation just the pointless "My team rule" from grown adults.

MyHumpsMyLovelyBabyBumps Tue 09-Jul-13 21:16:28

yanbu

oreocookiez Tue 09-Jul-13 21:08:52

Fb is complete garbage. It is mostly self indulgant posts by people who want others to think they have an oh so amazing life. Id rather phone my mates for a chat, visit and meet up. Fb 'friends' are mostly not friends. People posting to their babies are doing it so people will say ahhh isnt that sweet. YANBU you are just normal! X

YummyYummyYum Tue 09-Jul-13 20:50:42

My aunt (she is just 39) became a mother through adoption and she is 'guilty' of posting many lots and lots of messages to her baby boy, from the day she became a mother (when she took her baby home) and now his first birthday.

She was a virgin when she got married (old fashioned Catholic family) and only after she got married (she was 30 years old) she found out she had endometriosis, so advanced she had to have a hysterectomy.

I do not think it's a stealth boast, I think she knows she has been blessed with a child and wants to share her happiness with her fb friends.

NigellaEllaElla Tue 09-Jul-13 19:46:35

I have no problem with people sharing bits of their lives with friends. I'm not on FB but have been but I love Twitter.

However what the OP is objecting to is addressing children/people directly that can't possibly see the posts, and I agree with her. Simply daft and highly annoying.

garlicsmutty Tue 09-Jul-13 19:18:14

When I speak to my friends with younger DC - on the phone, with our voices - the conversation's at least 25% updates about the kids, and 50% asides to DC: "It's in the fridge, just help yourself ... Why is she crying? STOP HITTING HER! ... No, where did you last have it? ... I'm talking, please go in the other room ... etc etc" grin

Facebook's just an extension of that. It's called 'sharing' because that's what we do, share pieces of our lives with friends.

happyhorse Tue 09-Jul-13 18:59:27

I have a FB 'friend' who wrote a message to her cat. I wrote that I was very impressed that her cat was on Facebook as mine couldn't even read yet. She didn't reply grin

Bunbaker Tue 09-Jul-13 18:49:15

"I think some people's problem is they just add people indiscriminately to Facebook. If these people aren't your friends, and you don't want updates about their lives, don't add them or block them from your newsfeed. It's really not hard"

I agree. I have about 20 friends on Facebook because they are genuine friends, and none of my friends post twattish stuff. Someone (age 13) at DD's school has over 1500 "friends". How can you possibly be real friends with that many people?

It was actually my dsis who did the posting to my DN yesterday. Then her DH did it. Then his Manna. Then his godparents. All wishing one little boy Happy Birthday and how they live him sooooooo much but he isn't going to ever see it hmm I can't defriend my sister but I will hide her news feed when she irritates. I didn't know you could do it.

The passive aggressive 'Some people are horrible. I'll get over it but hope you feel good ' type posts are purely and utterly attention seeking. How can anyone argue with that?

ilovechips Tue 09-Jul-13 09:51:33

If you don't like what people post then de-friend. Or if that's a bit awkward, eg family, just hide them from your news feed. You're not being unreasonable to find some posts irritating, but it is unreasonable to not do something about it! People can post what they like on their wall.

jaabaar Tue 09-Jul-13 09:26:34

I find nothing more sad when I see 3 people in a living room, each with their phones posting and reading FB in an eerie silence....

I have seen so much communication disappear. I used to have lovely discussions with SIL. Since she discovered FB she never talks anymore, doesn't pay attention to her kids. When you visit she disappears in other room and checks her FB for long periods of time.

My husband asked her why you have to do this while you have visitors? She says because she has to answer to messages.....

She went out for lunch with a friend and during lunch they post each other on FB...

I find it all very sad. You should not let any social media take over your life at the cost of everything else....

hamdangle Tue 09-Jul-13 07:42:58

I have a friend on Facebook that posts happy 5/6/7 month birthday DD every month! And not just one post about each imaginary birthday either. Same person also posted about DD using their name before they were born e.g. "Sophie's feeling happy today. Just read her a bedtime story" Or "bought Sophie some chocolate. Yum yum." Stop it. Just stop it.

I also really hate, with a passion, people who post pictures of their child's massive pile of presents at Christmas or birthdays. I can understand taking a pic of the child happily opening the presents and posting that but what actual reason does a person have for taking a picture of the unopened presents and then putting it up on FB other than to boast about how much you spoil your kids/ money you have? Gah!

I like seeing pictures of my friends' or family's children but I definitely think it becomes an obsession for some people and they feel the need to share every little part of their life.

ZillionChocolate Tue 09-Jul-13 07:40:47

How about people who post to their partners when they're in the same house? Can we agree that's pointless attention seeking?

icklemssunshine1 Tue 09-Jul-13 07:39:47

I'm with previous posters who say the "cryptic" messages are the most annoying but I choose not to comment in them.

DD was 2 last week & both DH & I write a status not aimed at her directly but stated how she had brought joy into our lives. I also mark by DF's anniversary of his passing & this September I'll also honour the baby I lost on their birthday. Yes it maybe "attention seeking" but I only have true friends & family linked to me & its nothing I would say to them IRL. FB to me is about sharing, if people annoy you maybe they aren't your "true" friends & you should just hide then or "unfriend" them?

exoticfruits Tue 09-Jul-13 07:33:20

I agree maja- too many people just add acquaintances that they couldn't care less about. Keep to a few real friends and you won't have the problem.

At least it s short. Blogs are far worse.

maja00 Tue 09-Jul-13 07:20:50

I like hearing about my friend's children/holidays/weddings.

I think some people's problem is they just add people indiscriminately to Facebook. If these people aren't your friends, and you don't want updates about their lives, don't add them or block them from your newsfeed. It's really not hard.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Tue 09-Jul-13 07:06:22

I always post when it's my Mum's anniversary. I usually write something like"Missing Mum today, 9 years". Mainly it's to warn people that I will be vile and unreasonable all day. I don't want to tell everyone I see face to face as, obviously unreasonably, I find the fact that my Mum died when I was 24 and three weeks away from giving birth a tad upsetting.

I also post when it is my dc's birthday. Usually a pic of their excited face and "Happy Birthday X, 7 today!" This is mainly to remind my brother that it is their birthday.

If people don't like it, they know where the unfriend button is!

Bunbaker Tue 09-Jul-13 07:05:01

It is because far too many people are too full of their own self importance. It is "look at me" on the internet - just attention seeking IMO.

As a private person I really cannot understand why some people want to live their life so publicly.

saintmerryweather Tue 09-Jul-13 07:03:07

its nothing but attention seeking.

SummersHere Tue 09-Jul-13 06:58:58

Yanbu, people share far too much on fb. When I see updates from friends wishing their babies a happy birthday I just think why don't you just wish them a happy birthday to their face, they're right there in the room with you.
Yesterday a friend of mine announced her child did their first poo on the potty, I mean in what world is that of any interest to anyone other than the parents?
Fair enough write in a journal or something but to share info like that with hundreds of people is just weird and unnecessary imo.

exoticfruits Tue 09-Jul-13 06:54:34

FB causes such upset! Don't go on if you don't like it- or choose your friends more carefully.

Alconleigh Tue 09-Jul-13 06:42:23

I do think there is a definite recent element of things not being real unless you document them and publish them for others to see. I am not talking about people wanting to commemorate a child they have lost etc here by the way, I understand that. But Eg on nights out with younger friends. They can't just be in the moment, enjoying the evening. It's group photos every 10 mins, to be instantly uploaded. I get that it's virtually effortless to do so, but why is showing that you're having a good time more important than actually having it?

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